Praise the 17,527 Gods!!!
Man, I am not a monotheist by a long shot. I believe that if you anger any one of these Gods, you will be punished forever.
One of the Gods is Shrevnasdrs. It is also known by the name Ve, or GBFTR69. This God demands that you believe his cousin built souped-up cars.
People think my pastor is crazy. He won’t eat beans on Wednesday.
I shaved my head when I turned 23. Hopefully, God Chennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn was pleased.
I knew a guy who believed in only 17,520 Gods. I knew someone who believed in
40 Gods.
Look, these Gods really only care that you believe in them. Is that so hard to do?
The God Who Makes Occasional Bird Noise loves you.
Yes, I need to miss work 3 weeks out of every month, but is that really much of a sacrifice?
Well, I have to go now, and chop down some trees in Memphis, Tennessee.
I will try to snap my fingers. I will walk around poles repeatedly. I will remember Jeff.
Many think I’m crazy. Please, believe me. I know I’m right. It’s the truth. Join me. Live forever. Praise the 17,527 Gods!
Do not mock me. This isn’t the spaghetti monster crap. These are 17,527 real Gods that don’t appreciate sarcasm.
This is not mundane. But if I posted the Truth anywhere else, it would be moved here.
Depressed God says ‘what’s the use’? I will study its words.
Confidentially, I’m considering converting to the Lutheran persuasion. Is this a wise decision?
Frankly, I’m amazed you managed to find quite so many without tripping over at least one that demands exclusivity. Does the number 17,527 comprise the whole set, or are there still some Gods you don’t believe in?
Did you hear about the god of premature ejaculation?
There isn’t one yet, but they say it’s coming quickly.
Hehe, I love Mel Brooks’ sence of humor.
Jesus built my hotrod.
Nothing crazy there, the flatus [“spiritus”) that escapes from the nether regions after consuming beans is proof that they are ensouled. Go ask Pythagorus.
That’s just nuts. When you turn 23, you shave your head for Eris.
I went Luthoran for a a few months in '95, but the Kryptonite Kross klashed with everything in my wardrobe.
Don’t know for sure. But I’m looking into it. It would suck to have this much faith, only to miss the brass ring by a whisker.
Or by another several thousand Gods. Man, I hope I’m not angering them, if they exist. “Please guide me, God of God Management. Amen.”
Foo
I’m confused.
Do I vote for him or do I fight for him?
With that many deities, you’d have to take care breathing – in case you sucked in a small god or two.
looks over at other 17,526 gods, shrugs
obistup
Oh wow, I he loves me too. And I love him.
Waaaait…do you belong to the Church of the Laden Swallow? Or of the Unladen Swallow?
Because if you belong to the Laden Swallowers you are a heathen and will be cast out.
The Audobon Conference of 1905 says so.
Spork! Ia ia fh’tagn Spork gorsnak ipple tang p’tooie! The God of Indeterminate Cutlery demands it!
(I never liked Him much anyway. I prefer my cutlery determinate.)
Why 17, 527 Gods and no Goddesses? You some kinda misogynist?
We’ve got at least one real live Goddess right here on these boards. The Gods, on the other hand, are remote, unthinking, and just generally uncaring. And they never remember to log on.
Dude, I’m right here!
Ok…technically not a god, per se. But I know a bunch, so watch it!
Dang, religion is tough. I need to know who the Goddesses are, and how to do what is is that they want me to do. “Please, help me! Amen.”
Crap… the ghosts, ghouls, devils, angels… I haven’t given them any thought.
I am overwhelmed. It is becoming more likely that I am angering some Gods. Some WONDERFUL, SWEET Gods.
Why can’t there be only like 5 Gods… a manageable number.
SORRY GODS!!! I RAMBLE!!! I RAMBLE!!!
P.S. Zeus… never mind about any lottery numbers. I’m sorry. So, so, sorry, oh Mighty One.
My 17,527 gods can beat up your 17,527 gods!
There are 35,054 GODS!!!
praise be. Hey, is one of them the Pope Thingy God? Just asking.
I’m not blaspheming, I hope. Praise be!? All praises. I bow to the North for you all. I will cut off the foreskin if one of you Gods gives me a sign.
A pretty flower, maybe? I don’t know. I AM confused.
All those gods, and not a word about Cecil the Omniscient? Beware, and repent, lest ye be smited!
NO!!! I bow down to Cecil the Omniscient!!!
I repent!!!
I’m new to religion!! Please help me worship the proper Gods.
Which books should I read to get the truth?
My friends… am I doomed?