Well, huh. I’d forgotten all about that little discussion. I’m truly sorry if I broke anyone’s heart here, who may have thought I was a guy but is now finding out that I’m someone who does the once-a-month-peel-and-stick Kotex drill, but I think my point is still valid, that on a MB you can be whoever and whatever you want, as long as you’re not doing it to be hurtful.
And of course, I still maintain that gender shouldn’t matter, that you shouldn’t respond to a poster differently according to which set of gonads you think it has, flaming a guy, but shrugging off a girl who says the same thing. I demand the right to be equally flamed! [insert smilie for bra-burning feminist here]
After being on one BBS for years [no this one] as a guy, & taking plenty of crap, I made another acct as a girl. Well, suffice to say all those nasty people were nice to the new account.
Hmm, my take on it was that whereas many people thought that Notthemamma was female, based on a misinterpretation of the screen name (the phrase originally referred to a male, as has been mentioned), Notthemamma actively implied otherwise, even if not expressly saying so. On the other hand, many people read the statements by Notthemamma, and concluded that that poster was male, and apologized for their “mistake”.
What I want to know, is why would a poster deliberately attempting to present herself as male choose a screenname so open to confusion? I don’t mean to imply that I doubt DDG, but I am curious.
Well DDG, I was pretty sure you were Notthemama almost from the start, but of course you made it much easier staying with that White Queeen sig that I have NO IDEA what it means and couldn’t imagine more than one poster on the whole board who would know what it means much less think it makes a good sig. But even without the sig, your marvelous posting style is very quickly recognizable. I will always probably be recognized for being whiny and you will probably always win the verbosity awards.
I have to say I didn’t suspect you were female though, just a highly idealistic man, but being a christian which I know you are, I figured that explained it as years ago when I was a christian I was highly idealistic too.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed your vacation, glad your foot is feeling better and thanks for sharing DDG.
I mean, anyone with a pair of balls and some testerone wouldn’t complain about a woman’s bra straps showing. Not only would a guy not care, but he’d welcome it with open arms.
My original intent was to pick a name that was deliberately non-gender specific. It’s harder than it looks, you know. Anything with that diminutive “-ie”, “-i”, or “-y” ending is going to be assumed to be female, anything with “Mr.” in it is going to be assumed to be male, and so forth. Some names just seem to sound more butch than others. I initially assumed that both Anthracite and Aenea were guys, based on, I suppose, some association with coal with masculinity (coal miners?), and the fact that the original Aenea (Aeneas?) was a guy.
Anyway, then it got to the point where people started asking me, “Hey, are you a guy, or what?” and I had to choose, so I went with “deliberately implying maleness” rather than admitting to femaleness. And at the time, there were a lot of really spooky, creative trolls around (anyone remember Bedboy?). My previous experience with MB trolls had been pretty much with the plain vanilla send-money-for-a-brain-transplant obvious idiots, so I was definitely getting spooked and wondering whether these people could get my e-mail address and somehow find out where I lived and follow my daughter home from school…Galloping paranoia. Should I stay or go? I actually deleted the SD from my Favorites list several times and vowed, “Never again.” But I always came back.
So.
Somehow I always knew that anybody named “GaWd” was gonna be a guy.
Struuter, you’re quite welcome, I’m glad you decided to stay, even if I currently have no idea which set of gonads you’re walking around with. And my point is, I don’t care and it doesn’t matter to me.
Re the sig: I just thought it was funny, that here was this whole MB devoted to Fighting Ignorance (my first exposure was a heavy dose of Comments and GQ), so I thought I’d tweak the owners a bit by flying a flag that says, “I believe anything!” Because, actually, I do.
I don’t know, vandal; I was at a wedding where the bridesmaids wore dresses that were cut deeply in the back, and two of them had on bras that went straight across the open area. It was supremely tacky, and would have been solved with either the right bras or just removing them altogether.
There. A straight guy complaining about a woman’s bra straps showing.
DDG, I admit to some confusion as to your gender at times, but, since these things are often imaginary anyway, I didn’t let it bother me. I’m just glad that English has so many ways to work around unknown genders.
But now I’m embarassed about flirting with Anthracite. Not.
[minor hijack]
One day I’d like to meet Kevin Clash, but not because he performs Elmo - nope, nor Clifford (though he’s cool). The real reason is I wanna meet the guy behind Baby Sinclair Dinosaur.
DDG I am kind of disappointed that you are female. I am going through hell in my life (you may remember my lonelist doper thread when I was still lswote) and for some reason I have always identified with you (when I assumed you were a man) and lately I have been thinking of posting a thread asking you to email me. I thought you were a man my age who seems to still have a focus and zest for life and I was hoping you might help me make sense of mine. Now I find you are a woman and that idea goes out the window. First time I can remember being disappointed to meet a woman.
DDG, I considered joining this board under a male name also. On ICQ, I used to (and still do) get lots of suggestive or outright obscene messages and chat requests from strangers. I do have the option of only accepting messages from those on my contact list, but there are normal people out there I’d be missing out on. In the end, I decided I’d just be me, what the hell, both on ICQ and here, and deal with whatever came.
Because of the ICQ pervs, I learned how to tell people to fuck off and never come back, and if that’s something I have to do here, then I will. But everyone here has been great, and like you said, there are a lot of classy people here, so I don’t think I’ll have to do that. Thank god.
Hey now! Whatcha saying DDG? GaWd couldn’t be a woman?(not that I’d like to do the “once-a-month peel and stick routine”, but, you know)
It also explains your immediate angst at my original post at the SDMB! ::ReminisceS:: Ahh…the memories of a first-day banning party!
Just jerkin your chain. I’m acutally relieved that you seem to have leveled out and everything has chilled on the board enough to allow you to do this.
Egads, she is a woman! I thought something was a little outta wack there. Geez, and here i thought i was losing it. Read some of DDG’s posts and i was thinking, yep female. Go and read some others and it’s like, hmmm wait a sec here, DDG is male.
UGH!!! I’m so confused!!! Where oh where shall my life go now. Hmm ok, so i’m being a little melodramitic. So sue me. Gotta love this place.
Hey, don’t forget my favorite line from Dino’s
Baby on Fire.
Aenea is definitely a woman. I knew that. I’ve only been around for a relatively short time and didn’t know that the name was once used by a guy.
Now this is important. DDG opened up and made it very clear that she’s a woman who posed as a man. But nowhere did she proclaim the she’s always been a woman. More subterfuge? Has anyone checked her closets? (All kinds of images of “Tootsie” and “Victor/Victoria” dancing around.)
Well, golly, I’m truly sorry you’re so bummed that it turns out I don’t have to shift a package from left to right. But ain’t it just a teeny bit sexist for you to assume that a woman could never understand? Whenever I hear a woman say dismissively, “Oh, a guy could never understand”, it makes me wanna go over there and pop her designer contact lenses out and grind them into the dirt with the heel of my feminazi combat boot. We are EQUAL, dammit. We will understand each other if it kills us, got that? Now drop and gimme 20, worm guts, and I wanna see your nose touching the ground, and don’t try to tell me your Wonderbra’s in the way, either.
Yeah, what DDG said! Wanderer, perhaps you’re lonely because you have difficulty relating to women as equals? You and I are the same age. I know how our generation was raised, but you can get past that. Dames can be friends, too, belaboring the obvious.
GaWd couldn’t be a woman?(not that I’d like to do the “once-a-month peel and stick routine”, but, you know)