I can't deal with transgender anymore

That’s a very succinct statement of the issue. Thank you.

English is a mostly non-gendered language. But where it is gendered, it’s tenaciously so.

As @mnemosyne said, there are lots of ways to simply not use any pronoun at all. But that’s not our collective habit and most of us here are kinda old and hence slow to change.

The societal definition of “polite” is changing even as we speak. More to the point, the consensus of what constitutes “polite” has become much less uniform.

Witness the ongoing kerfuffle in the current thread about use of first or last name and Mr. Mrs. Ms. in conversation with clerks, co-workers, or strangers. We each have a metric for what is and isn’t polite, but we don’t even remotely agree with each other on what that metric is. Instead of one universal standard there are now several broad camps, plus a bunch of outliers.

Many people find that really disorienting and resent the loss of the verities they thought were eternal.

Ref: