I can't stand going to the movies anymore.

The BBQ Pit
21

I agree here- if you can get to a weekday matinee, go for it. My sister and I saw The Grinch on a Wednesday 11am show. We got to shout at the screen, sing the Grinch song, and had a great time. Why? We were the only two people in the entire theater. I have learned to love the joy of a near empty theater, and I can’t imagine a movie I would want to see bad enough to go at night. I don’t do very well with annoying idiots, so that’s just as well. I have been known to give a hearty “shut the fuck up!” now and again, and who needs that aggrivation?

Zette
lovin’ the home theater system

22

The boyfriend and I went to go see The Blair Witch Project (the first one) the weekend it came out, because we were really trying hard to avoid spoilers and we figured if we went to go see it as early as possible, we’d avoid the possibility of our friends going to see it and then accidentally leaking out major plot information. I mean, we were pretty hardcore about it, turning off the TV when commercials came on, not letting our friends talk about the website in front of us, etc.

So anyway, we get there early and sit down, and a few minutes later this huge group of people comes in and sits down behind us. They had obviously been Blair Witch website junkies and knew every detail about the movie without having actually seen it. So we sat there sort of trying not to listen, and then one of them says, “Hey, that thing outside on the marquee that said ‘Stand in the corner’, what do you think that meant?” (For those of you who have not seen TBWP, that phrase is key to the end of the movie.)

So finally my boyfriend turns around and says, “Could you please not talk about it if you know, because we tried very hard to avoid spoilers for this movie?” I turned around too, and it was some frat boy looking guy and his girlfriend who had been having the conversation. Fratboy looks outraged that my boyfriend asked him to stop talking about the movie, FIVE MINUTES before it was supposed to start, and girlfriend pulls this “Uh! My! God!” face. They didn’t respond. At all. It was extremely rude.

Then after we turn around, frat boy mutters under his breath, “Our conversation isn’t any of your fucking business anyway.”

So then my boyfriend turns around AGAIN and says, “Actually we can hear every word you’re saying, quite clearly. I didn’t really care when you were talking about how much beer you drank this weekend, but I’d prefer not to have major plot points of the movie ruined before I see it. Thanks.”

They shut up after that. But still, you’d think they would have at least apologized after the first time we asked them politely not to talk about the movie. Or at LEAST not have made rude comments under their breath afterward. I like going to the movies in general, but stuff like that really pisses me off.

23

Nice to know I’m not alone :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Cartooniverse

24

I can’t stand the young adult/teenage male crowds that roam the movie theaters. I may fall into that crowd, but at least I’m kind and courteous for the most part, and do not let my raging hormones and obscenity laden mouth ruin the show for everyone.

Example, me and a couple of my pals went to a movie at the local mall. Exhibit A: Behind my good friend, an innocent choir boy, sits a obnoxious African-American male and his two Latino homies. They find it neccessary to not only to go into great detail of a gang-rape of some girl that is similar to a scene in the movie, but also get up and go through the motions of it for goodness sake. Exhibit B: The big lurpy-ass football players who sit in front of me farting. Ew…I didn’t want to know that one smelled like one your girlfriend would pop. Stupid hicks. Exhibit C: The young adult male practically ripping off the clothing of his girlfriend in front of their 4 year old son watching this R-rated movie.

Stupid people shouldn’t be allowed to breed. No swims in the Gene pool for them.

25

I’m not short, but I’m incredibly short waisted, so not only can I not see over people in front of me, I also get zero leg room…

But, get real. If you don’t want people to sit in front of you, sit in the front row. Otherwise quit bitching. You can not reserve all the seats around you - if you want a pristine movie environment, wait three months, rent the damn thing, and watch it at home.

26

One of my favorite things to do is go to a theater and get lost for a couple hours in a good movie. Take today. I had the day off so we decided to go see Hannibal, a rated R movie. We went to a matinee showing, at noon, figuring surely there would be no kids there. Wrong!! One couple decided to bring their approximately two year old kid.

It pisses me off, we shelled out a total of $11 for a matinee movie plus a drink and popcorn to sit in a dark, QUIET theater and watch the movie. We paid for both of our seats and we were quiet. Why can’t they do the same? Pay all that money only to have your kid fuck up the whole movie experience not for just yourself but for the entire audience. What the fuck is the point!? I bet if you would have had to pay for the kid to get in your ass wouldn’t have brought it! Your kid is not cute! No one around you thinks your kid is cute, leave it at your fucking house with a sitter or stay home with it!!!

Another thing that pisses me off is the younger crowd who comes to the movies to hang out with their friends and socialize during the movie. I dont’ know how many times I have told them to be quiet. Or how many times I have went to get the usher. I had one experience that I saw mentioned in here with the kids seeing their friends and hollering at them across the theater during the movie or throwing popcorn to get a girls or guys attention. Why do parents just drop these kids off and leave them for a couple of hours? They don’t know how to act when the parent aren’t around.

One more thing and then I’m done. LEAVE YOUR FUCKING CELL PHONE AND PAGER IN YOUR GODDAMN CAR!!! You are not that fucking important that you need to talk on the phone during the movie. And if you absolutely have to bring your phone/pager put it on fucking vibrate for the love of god!!! I don’t want to hear how your phone plays dixieland or any other annoying fucking tunes! The only way I would be impressed by your cell phone/pager is if I saw it shoved up your ass!!

I feel much better now.

27

Oh, ha ha funny. Now I must destroy you. (Dagger-clutching, steely-eyed smiley goes here)
I would have burned that sweater rather than ever touch it. What the hell are people thinking when they get dressed in the morning?
(And I did get candy during the first show, thankyouverymuch!)

28

I noticed this when I went to see Hannibal two weeks ago. I got there really early, and of course people kept wandering in during the previews. I saw little kids with their parents and, having read the book Hannibal and following the movie’s development for quite a while, I knew what would be in it. Some parents are fucked up.

I went to see Unbreakable about a month or two ago on a Friday night. Stupid me. Every Friday night, the whole student body of the two middle schools in our area are at the theater, theater hopping. They talk loudly, and roam in packs of 40. I kid you not. They go around mocking everyone, thinking that they’re the shit, while disrupting people’s sanity. I bet the kids in the pack of 40 don’t even know eachother. They just follow eachother around to look cool. There was a little middle school couple in front of my friend and I, and I almost leaned over and said to them, “Excuse me, your relationship probably won’t last by the end of the movie, so, in the meantime, could you shut up?” I didn’t. Then, after the movie, are 100 SUVs parked in the front to pick up the kids. When I was in middle school, I went to the theater, but I didn’t travel in packs of 40 or disrupt anyone.

29

That’s fine. It’s just when some dumb FUCK shows up LATE FOR THE MOVIE and sits in front of my short wife. If you banned people from buying tickets after the movie started, this would cut down on this problem.

Or better yet, when the theater is 1/4 full, and there are plenty of seats, and this MORON HAS to sit in front of my wife.

Oh one more story.

I forget the movie, but right behind us, in the back row. some black guy starts arguing with his white gorlfreind at full voice!!! “Yo bitch! I took your ass to the movie . .now shut the fuck up!”

My girlfriend shushes him, he starts going off on us! Before there was any trouble, the two idiots left.

30

When I went to go see The Sixth Sense, the theater was pretty full. There was a whole row of disruptive young men–you know the type; the one with attitudes. They were making aggressive comments throughout. When then little boy whispers “I see dead people,” it prompted:

“Yo, I see dead people all the time!”
“Yeah, nigga, I put cap in his ass!”
“Muthafucka don’t know dead people!”
“Hahahahahaahaha!”
“Pass me that bottle, mofo!”

etc…

The third time I went to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon I kept hearing low talking. I soon realized that someone was reading the subtitles out loud to his companion. I’m not sure if the person was blind or illiterate or what, but it sure was distracting.

31

Yet 2 MORE stories:

OLD PEOPLE

What is it with old ladies and their insistence on commenting very loudly and pointing out what it is that they find so amusing to the rest of the theater???

“Oh my goodness! Look, Hazel. The cat just went in the urns ashes! Ho hoh hooo!”

“Oh my goddness! Hehehe! Look Ethel, Keanu Reeves just punched that woman in the stomach!”

Grandma, please . . . turn up your hearing aid, re-adjust your colostomy bag, then . . SHUT-THE-FUCK UPPPP!!!
SICK PEOPLE

I remember a few years back I went to see “The Net” with Sandra Bullock. After 15 minutes into the movie, I hear this nosie behind my seat:

“AH-eeeem.”

And realize that the noise is recurring EVERY 2 MINUTES. AH-UMMM. AH-UMMM. Throughout the whole movie, I have to hear this FUCKHEAD CLEAR HIS FUCKING THROAT as loud as humanly possible!!! And it wasn’t JUST clearing his throat. It wa more like coughing up a pint of blood every 2 minutes!

The worst thing was, it was obvious the old fossil was on his last legs, so what are you going to do? Complain? MOVE?

But I will say it NOW.

Fucking get the FUCK OUT OF MY THEATER AND DIE SOMEWHERE ELSE!!!

32

What drives me batty, is having to fork over twelve bucks and spend the first 10 mintes watching those damned commercials. I see commercials on tv. I hear them on the radio, and read them in the newspapers. I sure as shit don’t need to see commercials before a movie.

33

Two stories which made me rethink my movie-going behavior:

1.) I went to the movies with a bona fide blind woman. She was a friend of a friend, and so my friend had to tell her anything that was going on that wasn’t overtly obvious from the soundtrack/dialouge. I require absolute silence for movies, but damn. It sure as shit made me glad I can see, and it really made me want to throddle the idiots sitting in back of us who shooshed Tai the whole time. We had arrived early, and Tai sat on the isle, did the white-tipped walking cane mean nothing to you? In fact, I watched Dancer in the Dark the other day, and there’s a very similar scene in it.
2.) My sister’s friend just had a baby. SisterRiddles calls me and asked if I’d like to see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Sure, says me. She tells me that Maddy (the new momma) is coming, too. Maddy brings Joshua, the 2 week old child. I had grave misgivings, but Maddy was confident that Josh would eat and then zonk out.

As we were entering the theater, these two old bags turned to Maddy and said “How old is he?”
“Two weeks.”
“And you take him OUT?”
“Um…yea.”
“And you’re taking him to the MOVIES?”
“Yep. He’ll be fine.”
“Well, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
::forced smile::

And wonder of wonder, Josh made no noise louder then a coo, and the two bags, who, despite thinking it was a bad idea, sat directly in back of us, TALKED the whole movie. And not just chatter, but that oh-so-annoying “I’m too dumb to understand a simple plot line, so I’ll discuss it with my equally stupid friend.”

At the end of the movie, I congratulated Josh on being such a polite moviegoer.

34

Fuckin’ old people!

During the first few minutes of “Traffic” one says to the other (loudly of course), “I don’t know why they have to use that word all the time. If that word didn’t exist they wouldn’t have anything to say. Humpf.”

Listen lady, you’re watching “Traffic” for chrissake. This isn’t fuckin’ Sesame Street! What type of dialog did you expect in a movie about drug trafficking?

Fuckin’ weekend daddies!

So he’s got the kids for the weekend and rather than take them to a park or someplace where they can interact, he takes the 2 and 5 year olds to “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” The five year old can’t figure out why he can’t understand the dialog and proceeds to attempt to read the subtitles and ask daddy to read them to him. The two year old bangs his head on the seat in front of him (mine) and Daddy smiles, acknowledging all those who are glaring at him - hey! ain’t my kids cute?

35

HELL YES!!!

I hate the people that state the obvious! I swear the crowd I drew when I went to see Traffic just about made me vomit. “Oh, I bet these guys are the feds.” “I bet he is a hitman.” “Oh, those Mexican drug lords are horrible people.” (I swear someone said this). Someone just needs to SHUT THEIR MOUTH!

Someone also mentioned people that complain about the language or content. This also drives we up the wall. You don’t go see a movie about battles between drug cartels without expecting some violence and language, you MORON!

36

Ahh, yes. That’s the other good thing about being able to go in the afternoon - you can show up 20 minutes late, and actually sit down as the movie starts, wonder of wonders! I love it.

37

Swimming: I know I’m probably going to get in trouble for this, but why on Earth is this blind friend of yours going out to the movies? It’s a movie, f’chrissake. Even in the most “talky” pictures, 75% of what’s going on is still visual. With all due sympathy to her disability, if she needs what ammounts to a translator giving her a running commentary throughout the movie, she’s disturbing the enjoyment of the other movie go-ers, which to me is pretty impolite.

38

After seeing the first Blair Witch the weekend it came out, my brother and I thought it was really good, so we convinced 2 of our friends to come see it with us. They were not as enthusiastic as we were about the movie, so my brother and I were really trying to build it up for them, telling them it would scare the piss out of them, etc. We wound up going the next Saturday night, and the theater was packed. All through the previews, I could hear people talking throughout the entire place. This worried me, because as anyone who has seen Blair Witch knows, one of the scariest things about it was all the silence interrupted by little noises - cracking twigs, strange animal sounds. But I had faith that these people would shut up. Halfway through the previews, the theater was so full that people coming in were blocking the aisles, searching for a seat. I then noticed two unrelated women both holding babies, walking around, looking for a place to set their shriek-boxes down. Anyway, once the movie started, the 6 thugs behind us kept talking, not paying any attention to what was going on. One of the babies previously mentioned kept waking up and making its presence known to the entire theater, whereupon the mom had to take it out to the lobby (this happened at least 4 times). By the middle of the movie, the guys behind us were so bored because they had no clue as to what the movie was about had resorted to yelling out inane things and then laughing among themselves. What made this experience really suck was that others in the theater had joined them in their fun. Finally, one of the retards behind us yelled out at the top of his lungs, “Who thinks this movie sucks?” I then went to the manager to complain, and the manager says I should have said something earlier (which I probably should have) and then sends in this 15 year old acne-ridden world’s worst excuse for an usher who walks in, watches the movie for 5 minutes, and walks out. My friends hate the Blair Witch project.
Plus, the theater was hot.

39

You went to see the Blair Witch Project? That was your first mistake :smiley:

40

I feel so lucky… here’s my general movie routine:

I get the the theater about 5 minutes early, and find a seat with no problem. I am tall and make sure not to sit in front of anybody. The lights go down, and there is some very light chit-chat through the previews. There are usually about 3 trailers, then the movie begins. Everyone is silent, there are no obnoxious kids around (there are often toddlers in the R-rated flicks, but I figure if a parent wants to fuck up their kids, and not irritate me in the process, that’s their business.) Nobody uses laser pointers anymore, nobody talks during the film, nobody gets up and walks or sits in front of me, and everything goes pretty well overall.

As far as price, it’s a little expensive, but I don’t get concessions, and often see matinees at 4.50 a pop.

And no, I’m not going to say where I live, cause I know the loud annoying bastards will invade in no time flat.