The Facts:
This Hornet (hereafter referred to as “El Stingo”) was in the Lunch Room here at work, crawling around on the Paper Towels in a menacing fashion. I caught him, and have detained him in a glass coffee cup. El Stingo is now my desk awaiting his fate.
The Humanity Shines Through:
I should mention, Fellow Dopers, that I bear no ill will toward El Stingo, nor do I take this decision lightly. I might have let him go immediately, had he not become so agitated. I fear if he escapes he will inflict his terrible sting upon myself and/or my work-mates.
The Inevitable Question:
What should I do with him? El Stingo might survive for days in the coffee cup. As there is fresh air available he would more likely die of starvation. Or worse yet, lonliness.
Editor’s Note:
El Stingo is referred to in the masculine for the sake of brevity.
Keep him as a pet. Find out what El Stingo is hungry for, and provide him with a bounty of said sustenance. I’d also set yourself to creating a large biosphere for him, so that he feels at home. Unless of course his natural habitat is a glass coffee cup. In that case, you’re all set, save for the food.
I’d also make him a nametag and security card, if that’s the norm at your office. Don’t want to have him taken away for not being authorized.
Very well. I have decided to keep him as a pet. I’ve added Scotch Tape aroung the rim of the coffee cup where it meets the paper plate to prevent his accidental escape and to deter would-be liberators. I have also provided him with food. I had PB & J for lunch, and had some Strawberry Preserves left over, so I pushed some into his habitat. He immediately crawled over and began lapping it up like a (very small, winged, stinging) doggie.
ferrous Fascinating, indeed. It’s amazing watching him eat, but I do not feel I have enough votes in favor of Execution. Time will tell.
ThunderBug Thank you for your kind and inciteful warning. I will warn my work-mates, as well.
MunchTremendous idea! The Jury is still out, but I will keep him as a Pet until such time as his future is determined. I have not named him, though I have started to think of him as Inmate # 6-double-0-325.
Update! He finished his lunch of Strawberry Preserves, and is now cleaning himself like a cat. Interesting.
astroLa Stingera? Bueno! And yes, this is a real Hornet - about an inch long. Had it been a lowly yellow jacket, I would have dispatched him/her with witty banter and Kung Fu.
But a Hornet is a different animal altogether (so to speak).
Update I think La Stingra has a sugar high from the jam. She had become pretty docile prior to the feeding. Now I can see her stinger jutting out and retracting, and I think she’s testing the sides of her habitat for weak spots.
You have hornets in Boston, in November? The weather must be fairly mild there for this time of year (it was 51° in Boston when I checked weather.com). I’m terrified of any stinging insect (bee, wasp, yellow jacket, hornet, whatever) and while I will try to eliminate the threat in a humane manner, most often my instinctive fight-or-flight response will kick in and I’ll just swat the damn thing.
I’d take ThunderBug’s warning seriously (for the sake of your co-workers). There might be a few Jackass fans in your office, after all.
I do admire your humane approach and I hope that your neighboring coworkers are all comfortable with it. I personally wouldn’t want the guy in the next cubicle having a hornet buzzing around in a coffee cup, even if it were sealed. All it would take is one after-hours maintenance worker’s curiosity to unleash the critter.
Oh, I have another suggestion! Try to fabricate a companion for La Stingera (Lost in Guerra?). I’d recommend a whittled eraser (the big kind), staples for antennae and colored white-out, but I’ve never fashioned a fake Hornet Companion, so I’m not sure if that’s the way to go.
I suppose that wadded up paper, scotch tape and pipe cleaners would work as well.
dwc1970 Yes, it’s very mild “up here”. 50’s & 60’s for the last few days (week?). It occured to me that is is, indeed, late in the season for flying/stinging critters, but this warm weather does bring them out. This is one Hornet, though, that probably wishes she had stayed dormant - or whatever it is they do when they’re not out chasing law-abiding citizens around. I’ve put some thought into the maintenance-guy angle, too. I don’t think I need to worry about it. I’ve been here a while, and have left some relatively bizarre things laying about, and I’ve never found anything to go missing or otherwise have to explain myself. Furthermore, anyone who liberates this wee beast will surely pay the highest price. La Stingra is decidedly agitated, and has ample food stores left over from lunch.
Update! Gravity seems to be a factor in the Escape Instinct. La Stingra is repeatedly climbing to the top of her habitat (which is the bottom of the coffee cup).
Have you thought about using La Stingra as a tool to attain a raise ie; threatening to unleash La Stingra and her wrath upon your boss unless he comes up with said raise?
Also, have you thought about making a teeny, tiny leash so that you could take La Stingra out for the occasional walk/fly?
The correct reaction is to run in circles, flailing your arms and shouting “Aaaaaah kill it! kill it!” (that’s what I’d be doing, the hornets we have here are huge)
Winston Smith, you don’t work in an office involving radioactive materials or recombinant DNA technology, do you? I’d hate to wake up and read some headline like
Oh dear, you’ve got me giggling away now - that’s exactly what I would be doing.; I’m terrified of wasps and hornets.
On the other hand, bees don’t bother me at all - they’re friendly little critters. I’ve held a bumble bee on my hand several times before and never been stung - I even accidentally covered one with my hand once when I put my hand down on a table and it just buzzed around a bit without hurting me. My brother on the other hand is allergic to them and so flees in terror at the presence of bees.
WSLer Where I work, keeping your job for another pay cycle is the greatest reward you can hope for. While I am, in general, a fierce proponant of Extortion, it is of little use in this environment. I’ve put some thought into the leash idea, as well. Perhaps I could get some Dental Floss, and have a Rodeo. Hmm.
Mangetout Under normal circumstances, I would agree with you about the Flailing of Arms.
[MEBuckner** Geez. Good call. I probably ought to shut down my Gamma Ray Generator for the time being.
Update! I figured it was 50/50 she’d be dead when I got in this morning, but she is very much alive. Her food supply is holding up, though I fear it’s congealed somewhat since yesterday. I have resolved to free her at the end of the day.
Hmmm, Winston, if I have my entomological lore correctly stored in my brain, Sinorita Stingra might not do too well if released in the evening. They are social insects like ants, live in a hive and pretty much shut down at night. Perhaps you should release her now before it gets too dark? Any ideas on how you are going to do that?