I think you should program the hornet with an endlessly recursive algorithm and return it to the hive.
Seal it in a lucite cube and declare it the office mascot.
I can’t believe you caught a Hornet and failed to name it Hudson.
Ok, I’m hooked. I just HAVE to know what happens to La Stingra next…
Winston,
First off, I have to say that your deadpan responses to the various queries/comments have caused both my dad and I much laughter this weekend.
BUT WE DEMAND AN UPDATE!!!
Did you free La Stingra?
Did she fly majestically off into the distance?
Or did she turn on you and sting the bejeezus out of you?
Details, we must have details!
An endlessly recursive program? I sure hope not, lest the world implode…
Come on! Did she survive the weekend?
Stuff it into the condensed water sedimentation container of your natural gas fired heating system. That’s where I last saw a hornet. I found the sumbitch when it and the sediment conspired to block the water outlet. I had water soaked into the rock wool insulation below the heater and running down the wall in the room below. Fortunately the room was not finished at the time, so all I had to do was peel off the vaport barrier and let the rock wool dry out.
slortar I have discussed this with La Stingra, and instead of riding her to work, she has suggested instead that I allow her to sting me repeatedly, as a sign of allegiance. Not a viable option.
Tupug Anachi Indeed, I believe you are correct in your assertion that it would be too cold in the evening for La Stingra.
Zebra Your vote has been recorded.
dantheman Your vote has cancelled out Zebra’s. I suggest a Cage Match, the winner of which casts two votes.
Cervaise Resistance is Futile.
Max Torque Seal her in Lucite?!? Wouldn’t that kill her? Oh. I get it. Another vote for execution. The Jury’s still out, bub.
racinchikki Hudson? I don’t get it.
green_dragon La Stingra would like you to know that she appreciates your support, and would also suggest that you allow her to sting you repeatedly, as a sign of allegiance.
WSLer Patience, Dear WSLer. Patience.
Ian Fan You will be assimilated.
Little Bird Yes! Joy!
Mort Furd We don’t actually have a natural gas fired heating system here in the Office. We have vents in the ceiling that blow hot air. In the summer, they blow cold air and baby spiders.
Update! I haven’t been in the Office since noon time on Friday, a little after my last update. I called in yesterday, and had a colleague check in on La Stingra, as I had been worried about her being alone all weekend. The conversation went a little like this…
Winston “Office Colleague, would you mind looking in on La Stingra to make sure she’s all right?”
Office Colleague “Sure. :walks over to my cube: Uh, Winston, I think it’s dead.”
Winston “Impossible! Give her habitat a little shake.”
Office Colleague “OK. :shakes habitat: AAAIIIEEEEEEE! It’s ALIVE!!! Ughhhh. Please let me get rid of this Doddamn thing. Please. It’s creeping me out.”
Winston “Don’t you dare! I’ll be in tomorrow morning. If she’s gone, there’ll be hell to pay!”
Upon returning to the Office this morning, I found La Stingra to be despondent and lethargic. She seemd to enjoy the Strawberry Preserves, the residue of which is still in her habitat. I’m out of Jam, but have offered her Rice Pudding (which I made last night - yummy), and she seems to be rebounding nicely. At this point, though, I should add that the temperature here in Boston is in the thirties today. Certainly not hospitable to La Stingra and her un-insulated little body.
I gotta admit this has gotta be one of the most random and yet interesting things i’ve read as of late.
but ya got me hooked! keep us updated. Perhaps someone more knowledgable(or probably less lazy) could do some research on hornet hive mentality? Psychoanalyze her!
Great thread! Sounds like La Stingra is nearing her end. You must find another one as soon as it’s warm enough next year. Further research is needed in the proper clime. You can always resurrect this thread once the research continues.
Give it a new bigger glass to buzz around in, or it might pack up and move to New Orleans.
I think you ought to invest in small vivarium to allow stingra a little space to flap her wings. Unless, of course, you plan on going into battery hornet farming…
Why don’t you just pop him in your mouth?
Please update us! How is La Stingra doing? I do agree that she seems to need a larger habitat than her current one. Have you tried a little landscaping? Maybe bringing in some dead leaves and acorns will make her feel more at home.
Harmonix La Stingra resents the fact that you have advised psychotherapy, but recognizes that every once in a while we all feel “down”, and that’s perfectly normal and natural.
racinchikki Thanks for the clarification. Hudson’s not a very feminin name, though, and we’re pretty sure she’s a she, though I admit I haven’t turned her over to check.
Dooku I don’t think it’s time for sympahy cards, yet.
drewbert I’ve thought about a larger habitat, but I shudder at the prospect of her escape. She’s been staring at me with sheer hostility in her beady little segmented eyes.
ShadowWarrior Next!
Janx Huh?
booklover There seems to be a lot of you in favor of a larger habitat, I just don’t see it happening in these emotional and economically turbulent times. I did, however, slip a leaf that had fallen off my Jade Tree under the edge of her coffee cup. She immediately scuttled over to it, and bean stinging it in a loving manner, indeed.
Update! La Stingra is inecplicably still alive. I have consulted with an Office Colleague, Joe, on the likelyhood of her continued survival in captivity. He is not an entymologist, but he lives in New Hampshire, where there is lots of wildlife of all kinds, so I consider him an expert, of sorts. His first instinct was to kill her of course, but I managed to convince him otherwise, invoking the words “Science Experiment”. He shares my astonishment at the fact that she’s still alive, but doesn’t think her chances for long-term survival are good. So I guess nature will inevitably step in where Winston fears to tread.
What about a butterfly cage to contain her? They’re quite large, and made of very fine mesh, which would be too tight for La Stingera to escape from. Pretty darn cheap as well. And when…IF, I said IF, she dies, you can get a butterfly coccoon in the spring.
My dear Winston, have you started planning for the inevitable crossing over of the, uh, pre-deceased? I can, for a nominal fee, of course, help you plan a memorial service worthy of the beloved La Stingra. We have both burial and cremation alternatives available. Shall I fax over a price list?
I recommended psychology, not psychiatry. you weren’t supposed to tell her. You’ve wasted a perfectly good opportunity. You already had her being the glass after all.