He is capitalizing on your fantasies, and superstition. This whole phenomenon is just a commercial idea. Don’t be foolish. Don’t let yourselves be misslead.
I submit to you that Scorpio “Africanus” does not exist. Rather, he is a compilation of randomly firing electrons that causes Great Debates to accidentally post messages that mock Cecil.
After all, if matter can spontaneously come into being, why can’t a Great Debates thread? I have yet to conclusively see evidence that Scorpio exists. Ergo, he does not. Q.E.D.
So, tell us, oh wise one, what should we do?
Maybe cecil is a phantom, but all i know is that someone is making a whole lot of money on you. This whole cecil-phenomenon is an induced mass-hypnosis scenario by very cleaver commercialists. Why can’t you see that?
I am not paying Cecil. Are you? I am not paying to post here. Are you?
If you are proselytizing you can please take stage left and get out. If you are legitimately wondering. Please read more of what is on the boards.
You’re Marylin Vos Savant, aren’t you?
Now we know it’s the end-time. It’s the Anti-Cecil!
Turn your backs, true believers, and banish him back to the depths of MPSMIS where he belongs.
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How is this mass-hypnosis?
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How are people making a lot of money off us (other than the money made by buying Straight Dope books and merchandise)?
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You do realize that this “worship” of Cecil, calling him the world’s smartest human being, and comparing him to God, is a running joke, right?
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What would you suggest we do so that we not be taken advantage of?
Cleaver commercialists? You mean like Ginsu salesmen?
I think this is the most surreal thread I’ve ever read in Great Debates. Seriously.
Jeff
Actually, I believe that the Chicago Reader actually loses money on this board, or if they don’t it’s because all (or most) of the moderators are volunteers (possibly the admins too, I’m not sure).
[Tinfoil hat]
Scorpio “Africanus” is right; Cecil does not in fact exist as a physical entity. He is in fact, a god of sorts who needs his existence recognized by the masses to continue to survive. Not enough recognition has been forthcoming of late, and Cecil has begun to fade into the oblivion.
Now here is the indictment… Scorpio “Africanus” is in fact the id of the over-mind Cecil, lashing out to cause the masses to recognize his existence and thus replenish his power.
[/Tinfoil hat/]
Scorpio
Read what **Homebrew said.
Now read it again.
And again.
Do you get it now?
Can someone help me find a place to purchase the Cecil Adams Hymnal? That’s still in print right? I’m a little behind in my worship…
I think much of the confusion about Cecil’s unique status is because many posters have forgotten – or might never have even known – the official anthem. “All Hail Uncle Cecil” – well, the first five stanzas, anyway – should be committed to memory:
All Hail Uncle Cecil!
Leader of us all!
Ignorance’s worst enemy!
Leader of us all!
All Hail Uncle Cecil!
Leader of us all!
Leads the Teeming Millions!
Leader of us all!
All Hail Uncle Cecil!
Leader of us all!
Doesn’t like pretenders!
Leader of us all!
All Hail Uncle Cecil!
Leader of us all!
Read his weekly column!
Leader of us all!
All Hail Uncle Cecil!
Leader of us all!
Buy all of his books!
Leader of us all!
(And don’t forget to sing all of the lines with exclamation points extra loud).
I’ve been supporting him. It was me.
At first he came around and just sort of “hung out” around dinner time. Then I noticed that he was coming around more often, usually at meal times.
So one day, I just up and asks, “Say, Cece, Oh Perfect Master an All That, do you’d need some bread cause I can float you some if you’re needin’ it. I mean, I see you rount here all the time when my baby’s got the cooking goin on. I see you here in the mornings for breakfast almost everyday.”
Cece, he say: [answer available for just $19.95 via electronic funds transfer. Straight from the mouth of the Master]
So anyway, I opened him an account with half a mil. You know, enough for now til he get on his feet. He’s a smart kid I know he’ll come out on top. It’s not like he isn’t gonna pay me back. With interest, no less.
How am I to command the Prefect Mastertm? Do think that I can dam the turnig of the tide or still the moon in it’s course? Think you that I am some hidden god dwelling lamely here amongst you mortals? That sacrifice is Cecil’s alone. Only he is capable of making that sacrifice for mankind!
To ask such of me is to blaspheme!
But, since you seem to be new here Cecil will be happy to forgive you for 199.95 payable via EMT
Yopu don’t remeber, at that DopeCon, when the cute little Ginsu guys told us to forget everything that happened, and we all…
never mind.
fnord
If this were true, then surely SA would be aware of it already, would he not? Since He appears not to be there is but one obvious, inescapable conclusion.
Thou Shalt Not Reveal the Sacred Sign of the Tongue in Cheek to Infidel!
Well, I’ve been here awhile, and I don’t idolize Cecil. I think he’d probably find that rather silly, and against skeptic principles, especially if he doesn’t exist.
What appears to exist is a fine attempt at answering questions in the most accurate manner, with superb sources, and, the lagniappe of a wonderful sense of humor. Probably should underscore that last phrase. For me, it ain’t blind worship; it’s an appreciation of that rare combination of skills. All eyeballs rolling across this page benefit from it. I don’t see anyone trying to be perfect, just trying to tease out the tangles of many questions. Where’s the farce?
I’m awake, and see you, here at least, and me, now at least, and also the reason this board exists, Cecil Adams. A mighty funhouse of mirrors. (It helps if you make silly faces, stick your lounging tounge out, and enjoy the odd distortions before the bleak denoument of exit.)
Scorpio, consider this. Cecil can banish you from this board but you cannot banish him. He’d still be here and you’d be gone. Who then is realer?
So everyone say it with me:
I do believe in Cecil.
I do believe in Cecil.
I do believe in Cecil.
I do believe in Cecil.
I do believe in Cecil.
I do believe in Cecil.
So, uh…Scorpio “Africanus”, how’s your debate going?
I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to have run out of steam about five hours ago.
Let me know if you’d like some help. There’s this angel program thing that could be invoked for some help here if you’d like it.
Not that I’m saying that you’re not holding your own. No, no, I’m not saying that by any means. It’s just that…well… you know… IF you want it…you know.
Anyway, welcome to the SDMB Great Debates 