A story has broken recently in Hamilton, Ontario, about a “Safe Sex Club” - a group of horny young teenagers (redundant, I know) who have virtual dates, each in their own bedroom, with a computer cam and, well, I’m sure you can fill in the rest: Teens Weaving a Wicked Web.
However, what got me was the explanation from one young fellow as to why he liked this particular form of sexual activity, rather than the more traditional, upclose and personal, real sex. His answer:
I suppose in light of the influence video-games have had on the couch-potato phenomenon, I shouldn’t be surprised that some of the young guys just find the idea of getting laid to be too much work…
Jeez, where was the kid who started the thread “My Porn – Is it legal?”
Those poor, poor, misguided kids, though. Don’t they know that if you can’t smell it and taste it, it ain’t real?
Next thing you know, they’ll be too lazy to head down to the Sevvie for a Slurpee and a Hoagie, and just run a Brainfreeze and Processed Cheeze sim on their damned Playstations.
I’d do this but only because it’s better than nothing at all. Although, if I were actually a girl with whom I could, I think we could arrange to really do it.
It could get rather difficult if we didn’t live in the same city though.
Are we actually sure they’re too lazy? I’d have thought it more likely that the patrons of the site are too spotty/speccy/nerdy/socially awkward for real sex. I cannot honestly imagine how any sane, normal teenager would choose virtual sex over the real thing, if the choice was truly available.
It seems like the chances of denial are much slimmer if you know where to look. The whole too nerdy/spotty thing is what makes the cyber-action possible. She can’t tell that the guy has no hygiene standard. Also, getting shot down over the net probably sucks a lot less. Besides, where else can you use the abbreviation ROTFFLW? (Rolling On the Floor Fucking Like Weasels)
Back in my day, we were embarassed to walk into a drugstore and tell the pharmacist "Uh yeah, uh, some gum, and uh, a candy bar, and uh, uh, McAfee Antivirus version1.0.
It was, however, a status symbol to have a wallet into which a CD-ROM wore a little circle.
Also, it’s tough to remember, but life was really different before you could drive. (At least if you don’t live in a big city.) A mile and a half to your girlfriend’s house was a near-insurmountable distance, at least if you had less than two hours before your parents were going to be home.
Back in my day, indeed. Because we all know you have one foot in the grave, of course! I know you’re not too much older than me. And I, by default, am not old!
Forget chafing. Cybersex is fraught with far worse dangers. Have you ever done the horizontal 1001010010110101 with a cybernetic life form? After you fall asleep, they try to take over the world. And they eat old people’s medicine for fuel!
Just picture what’ll happen when a few of these kids get their own cars and/or turn 18? With a network like this already in place?
That’s right.
Orgies.
