Yesterday, while cleaning up after an epic crawfish party, a friend of mine and I managed to drop a 50lb wooden box on my poor, unprotected foot. I wasn’t too worried about it until this morning, when it hurt to put my shoe on. Apparently, it was swollen and tender. My foot, that is. The shoe did not appear the least bit swollen, and has never shown any sign of tenderness.
My podiatrist took an x-ray, and proclaimed it not broken. Again, the foot. Although it’s good to know the x-ray wasn’t broken, too.
I need to wear my sandals for about a week to keep the pressure off of it, and try not to drop heavy objects on it until it heals. (I ran out of corny “the foot” lines…sorry)
So…what didn’t you do recently?
-D/a
I had the basement set up to paint a big portrait. The ping pong table was covered with a drop cloth and strewn with supplies. A smaller table had turpentine jars, mirrors, palettes, jars of paint. There were several light stands with umbrellas and incandescent bulbs. It rained that week and we had several small streams flowing across the floor.
The soles of my old crocs have become very, verrrry slippery in water. I fell and grabbed the tables to break my fall. A glass turpentine jar fell and shattered, the tables pushed a light stand over, a hand mirror broke.
I did not cut myself, fracture my skull or get electrocuted.
I got birds building next in cover hatch of my propane tank that is next to my house. I was thinking of ways to prevent the birds from roosting inside the hatch and crapping all over the tank.
Rubber snakes? a stuffed owl?
For the briefest of moments i thought about lighting some firecrackers and throwing them at the tank.
Then I realized how dumb that would be. I don’t think anything would have happened, but dang just the thought of it now gives me goose bumps.
It should. I recall a doper that told of running across a guy along the road in the middle of the night. He had apparently done some welding on a propane tank. There were descriptions of things like melted hair and skin…
I didn’t cut my thumb off on the rim of my bass drum while switching off a ceiling fan. I didn’t dislocate both shoulders and tear a pectoral muscle on the last day of ski season.
That I know of. Sure feels like it, though. I guess we’ll never know, since OBAMA didn’t come through with my FREE HEALTH CARE!
One time I was at a party and one of my mom’s alcoholic friends (they’re not friends anymore) stepped on my flip-flopped foot with his combat boot. Full weight, he had to be at least 225 lbs. I didn’t go to the hospital or anything, but that foot still has a tendency to get purple and sore. >:[
And just today I managed to hit my hand with a hammer, but only a glancing blow which may be a little sore, but could have been a broken bone if i’d moved my hand only slightly. I deserved to get a broken bone considering the stupid thing I was doing, so I’m sure to pay for this sometime soon.
I’m assuming that, contrary to standard TV tropes, you also did not set yourself on fire, because whenever you combine things that are flammable with things that are electrical, there is fire.
The opportunity presented itself when a 5 foot diamond backed rattlesnake showed up in the driveway just before lunch time, causing consternation to some of my staff. I caught the snake, transported him a mile “out back” and released him after shooting some nice close up pictures. Oh, and that’s not a figure of speech, it was indeed a “him” – I checked.
I didn’t crack my pelvis, break my skull, or pull any major muscles when my horse decided the wooden footbridge was just too scary and disappeared out from under me.
Snarky answer of course is carefully Real answer? The salient ‘parts’ are inside the cloaca but can be, er, examined using appropriate instruments. It’s called probing, and yeah, it’s pretty much what it sounds like. Doing this isn’t particularly hard once you know what you’re looking for. Of course it behooves you to remember that the other end of the animal can inflict a potentially fatal bite. So carefully is part of the real answer too.
