Missed the edit window:
He will invariably tell the (is this an old saying? I have heard it is old) joke about how the beer I am drinking is like making love in a canoe: It is fucking close to water!
Haha! Haha!!! The first time I heard it, I did laugh. The 11th? Not so much.
so what did ya end up getting ?
Haven’t gotten anything yet - we haven’t set the date for the event since we’re still working on finishing the new facility. I think we’re looking at early June.
Social gathering, huh.
Huh. I like IPAs, but I also know that I don’t know shit about beer. I just like hops more than I like most beers. 
Haven’t read through all the replys, but the gist is this : in America, Budweiser. In Europe, Heineken. Neither of them tastes like anything, so you’re safe from “Oh god, what *is *this shit ?!”.
OTOH, both are known for not tasting like anything, so you’ll get teased mercilessly - expect the old “love in a canoe” joke. But that’s fine - it’s just a segue into what kind of beer they do like. For next time.
Not with Bud Light you’re not. 
Yeah, lots of assholes at the parties you go to. I think the only time I’ve ever heard that joke told in somewhat earnest was in England in the 90s/early 00s, before American craft beer started to gain an international reputation.
Around here, there’s nothing particularly exceptional about somebody drinking an IPA. It’s a mainstream beer, and even a lot of beer snobs don’t enjoy IPAs and/or enjoy a “lawnmower beer” from time to time.
Oddly, the only times I can remember somebody commenting on my drinking choices is when I drink a Guinness. Not super common, but I’ve had at least three or four people at various bars ask me if I actually enjoy Guinness or how could I drink that heavy dark stuff? Which I find totally baffling, as it’s not really a heavy beer at all (and less alcohol and fewer calories than most non-lite beers), and it’s totally a proletarian non-snob sort of beer.
Dunno, man. I don’t know you but I feel pretty confident in asserting that I drink more than you do. And I’ve never been approached by a stranger for a lecture about my inferior Miller Lite or PBR. Sure, I’ll take the piss from someone I know but it’s just good natured ballbusting before we knock back a couple Malorts.
What were you drinking in Germany? Dunkels or wheat beers of some sort? The rest are basically variants on pilsners.
And they must have given you crap beers; Czech pilsners are like US light lagers in the same way that a AVPN certified Neapolitan pizza is like a Totino’s frozen pizza.
And I’ll say it again… the best bet for a party where you’re not sure what people like is to go with something like a standard US pilsner- nobody generally hates them, except for beer snobs, and you’re unlikely to satisfy them without asking them. I mean, one guy may like Imperial IPAs, another may like sour beers, and a third might be totally into oak aged stouts. And they’re also likely to bitch about the serving vessels, or any number of other idiotic things.
(and I say this as someone who’s probably tried at least as many kinds and styles of beers as your average beer snob, but chooses not to be snooty about it, and often drinks Bud, PBR or Lone Star because it’s cheap and inoffensive)
Maybe I had crap beer in the Czech republic. Actually, I went back this summer, and had okay beer, although I didn’t love it.
In Germany I often order what’s cheap, or what the person I’m eating with is having, or something dark. Um, I really don’t know much about beer, but I do pick something other than pilsner if I can read the menu well enough to do so.
The beer in that part of Europe is a lot like the food- the same, with minor variations. I mean, you can get dunkels in the Czech Republic (I recall Velkopopovický Kozel dark being quite good), and their pilsners are the real deal- Pilsner Urquell/Plzeňský Prazdroj (the first pilsner), Staropramen(a Prague local pilsner) and Budejovicky Budvar (the original Budweiser) are all good examples of Czech pilsners.
German pilsners are somewhat different- hoppier and drier than the Czech ones, which at least when they’re fresh, have a whole lot of maltiness offsetting their hops. But they’re really popular as well- ‘Pils’ is apparently the most popular style of beer there.
While I don’t doubt there are likely crap beers in the Czech Republic, just as there are in Belgium (Jupiler is not great, for example), the average Czech pilsner is pretty solid for that style.
Krusovice Cerne seems to be the most popular dark Czech lager around, with a mild finish and to me does not set overly filling.
One thing many people don’t realize is that Czech pilsners are (by European standards) fairly mild, usually under 5% ABV (Pilsner Urquell is just 4.7%) which compared to other styles is not particularly strong.
Here in Krakow, Polish piwo (pivo is the Czech word for beer, but both are pronounced the same) is always at least 5.5%, with many mainstream pils and lagers coming in at 6%, yet surprisingly without a dicernable alcohol finish.
Kozel (it means “Goat”) is another mainstream Czech pivo that is popular throughout Europe, but they have begun contracting it out, so if you get a bottle in Stuttgart it was actually brewed somewhere in Germany, and a liter in Krakow was brewed in some Polish city. (Staropramen is doing the same)
Kind of ruins it for me somehow…
I don’t drink that much beer, so when I do, I want it to actually taste good.
Stella Artois is good but accessible to most beer-drinkers’ tastes. That would be my recommendation. If that’s your choice, FCM, and you have any left over after the party, PM me, and I’ll cheerfully take it off your hands. 
Stella Artois would be a good choice, although probably a tad more expensive than what you’re looking to spend I’m guessing.
Yeah, I remember people telling me about how strong Czech beers were, but when I got to that part of the world and living (almost) next door in Hungary, I was surprised when I drank them and they didn’t seem any stronger than the usual beer. I think perhaps what folks may have gotten confused by is that there is a “degrees” number on Czech beers, which has something to do with the Balling scale, but not ABV. So when they see 10.3º or whatever on a beer, they assume it means 10.3% ABV or something like that. At any rate, that’s the only sense I could make of it.
Home brewer chiming in. I think you are referencing “plato”. Degrees Plato (°P) is used to quantify the concentration of extract (mainly sugars derived from malt but also including other soluble material in wort) as a percentage by weight. A 10°P wort will contain 10 g of extract per 100 g of wort.
Rough rule of thumb is 1°P = .4% ABV. 8°P is a 3.2 beer and a 12°P is 5%. Most of the Czech beers are in the 8-12°P range.
Brix I believe is used more in winemaking, but I don’t know jack about winemaking.
I’m familiar with the Plato scale and its purpose (being a homebrewer myself–though it’s been about five years), but when I’ve read about Czech beers, I’ve seen Balling used instead (perhaps because he was Bohemian?) Looking it up, it seems those two and brix are essentially the same.
One more thing, I am sure that this isn’t news to hardcore beer geeks, but many European dark beers are actually lower in alcohol than the lighter (in color) styles like pils or lager.
It might seem counter-intuitive (Maybe because dark beer “looks” stronger? Maybe many English or American ales or stouts that are also dark in color ARE high in alcohol?) but sometimes the dark beers here are pretty mild, by comparison.
The Czech Budweiser Budvar Dark Lager is 4.7%, while the original is 5.0%.