Unfortunately, I don’t eat much chocolate and I can’t stand coffee either
I’ve seen people do and say pretty much all those same things when tasting wine, and I saw the director and lead actress of the movie talk about it at a screening. They indicated that they were trying to be as accurate as possible.
I’ve been a guest at wine tastings, pretty much feeling that the Emperor’s new tailors were describing the suit of clothes they were making. None of these wines possessed any flavor that I would particularly wish to experience a second time, tasting, for the most part, like something really unfortunate had happened to these innocent grapes.
I’ll take a shot at it…
Rum - tastes somewhat like molasses, depending on the rum
Whiskey - widely variable, but reminds me of meat
Bourbon - much like a corn-fed whiskey
Lager - kinda like a ginger ale
Ale - slightly stronger, heavier, muskier than a lager
Absinthe - don’t know; never had it
Cognac - tastes like an astringent
Sake - tastes like rice
Gin - tastes like a Christmas tree smells
Red Wine - widely variable, but generally tastes like fruit
White Wine - widely variable, but generally tastes like white grapes
Sangria - tastes like Hawaiian Punch
Scotch - tastes like smoke
Brandy - see Cognac
This list of wine flavor terms is a useful guide, which yummy sounding terms like:
Petrolly :* A wine containing a high concentration of trimethyldihydronaphthalene, whose scent is evocative of the odour of petrol, kerosene or paraffin. A petrolly character is considered a highly desirable characteristic in mature Rieslings.*
Ever have grilled meat? Ever have grilled meat grilled over specialty woods? Like pork over applewood. Or beef over oak vs mesquite? It doesn’t stop tasting like meat. But it does pick up hints of the flavor of the wood. Of course the pork doesn’t taste like apple… it tastes like pork. But when describing it to other pork eaters you might say it did, the main pork base flavor being assumed. Likewise a “nutty” red wine will mostly taste like a red wine. The nuttiness just being a highlight that distinguishes it from the hordes of other red wines.
I don’t have the palette to taste a lot of what wine enthusiasts talk about. But I can taste some of the differences. A lot of (especially good) wines and other spirits can have remarkably complex flavors. So whole vocabularies have sprung up to describe theses subtle flavors. Even a sweeter wine may have just a touch of a bitter undertone adding richness and complexity that might be described as asparagus. This does not mean that there is any asparagus in it. There isn’t. In that particular case they are describing the existence of a methoxypyrazine compound that comes from the grapes themselves. But it tastes reminiscent of asparagus and so got called that at some point and now it has become the descriptor for that flavor. There are worse names for some of the flavors like “cat piss” and “gun flint.” I’m assuming these didn’t get adopted due to any real experience with the flavors of their namesakes though.
Here’s my 2 cents:
Rum - Awful, except in long island ice teas.
Whiskey - Doubly Awful
Bourbon - See Whiskey
Lager - Good if light and flavorless. The more it reminds you of piss, the better.
Ale - Also good, but the darker and more flavorful, the better. If you gag when you smell it, that’s a good sign.
Absinthe - Never tried it
Cognac - Would probably throw up if I did try it
Sake - Great in sake bombs, but not much else.
Gin - Great in a long island ice tea, but not much else
Red Wine - Very few good red wines
White Wine - Very few good white wines
Sangria - one of the ways to make wine more palatable.
Scotch - See whiskey
Brandy - See cognac
For red wine, cranberry juice is the closest approximation I can think of (besides grape juice), though most red wines are not nearly so sweet.
Brandy, to me, smells like paint thinner. I’ve never tasted paint thinner, but I can imagine the flavor from the odor.
Vodka smells and (I would again assume) tastes like rubbing alcohol. Vodka has no immediate flavor if you stick it in the freezer and then gulp it down ice-cold, but you will taste it once it starts to warm to body temperature.
Depending on its color, rum can either taste like molasses (dark to golden) or, again, a lot like rubbing alcohol (clear). Not surprising that it should taste like molasses, since it’s distilled from sugar cane.
In Mr. Roberts, Henry Fonda says the taste of scotch has always reminded him of iodine. While I find this true for some brands (I believe Laphroaig burns seaweed to dry its malt), a good single-malt scotch like Glenfiddich is very smooth and almost sweet.
Any whisky (or whiskey) should be sipped slowly, usually without ice. This is especially true of Jack Daniel’s, which has a very sour flavor.
I also find most red wine to be thin and quite sour. It’s very astringent as well. Oenophiles talk about “body” and “bouquet,” but I have trouble telling one sort of red wine from another. Sweet “red” wine (like Manischewitz) is an abomination; just drink grape juice instead. It’s cheaper and it tastes much better.
I once had a delicious white wine that, to me, tasted just the way wine should taste: not too sweet, not too fruity, and just the right amount of alcohol, all in perfect balance. I wish now I had bothered to ask the name of the wine, but I suspect it came from Germany.
I assume you know that, if you’re going to drink wine, red goes with red meat and game, white goes with white meat, poultry, wild fowl, and fish.
I disagree with the negative comments made above about lager. I much prefer a nice, malty blonde beer over ale or dark bitter. Carlsberg is my favorite brand; in the US, Michelob, Pabst, and Miller Cold Filtered are acceptable substitutes.
Dark beers, like Guinness, are a whole 'nother animal: more like drinking liquid bread (and I say this quite favorably). The best dark beers I’ve had come from the Czech Republic, where it seems like every town has its own little brewery.
Cognac, BTW, is brandy, but not all brandies are Cognac.
I see that list is missing some of my favourite descriptors, like Cat Urine and Wet Dog (and one of those is for wines I like a lot - catpiss is characteristic of a good SauvBlanc)
Whiskey tastes like whiskey. Bourbon tastes like smoky whiskey. Scotch is like whiskey that’s so smoky you can barely drink it.
Absinthe is like licorice or fennel, slightly sweet. It’s disgusting.
Brandy and Cognac are in the cough syrup family… very sweet, strong alcoholic drinks.
Sangria is like fruit punch.
Rum has notes of sugar cane except it’s not sweet, unless it’s blackstrap rum, which has a molasses aroma.
White wine is like white grapes gone bad. Red wine is not.
Gin has an evergreen aroma because it’s made with juniper berries, but it doesn’t taste like pine cleaner or pitch, as some people have mentioned.
Anything I haven’t mentioned is a taste in its own class, or tastes you don’t encounter elsewhere. If you don’t know the aroma of hops or malt then I can’t really tell you what lager or ale taste like. Likewise whisky is a unique flavor.
Yet you asking what certain drinks taste like, meaning you haven’t actually tasted them. So you’ve decided you don’t like something you haven’t tried.
You’re not going to get an answer that makes it clear to you. These drinks aren’t easily explained by “it tastes a bit like <food x>”, hence the confusion as to why “oak” and “peat” are good things. Do yourself a favour and try the damn things, it’ll be a lot quicker that way.
Rather the opposite, the reduction is what you have left over after distillation. The brandy before aging is mostly water, alcohol and some oils that made it across.
It’s about the oils, which get dissolved in the alcohol during aging. That’s what you’re paying for. Many of the esters contained in oak and peat are quite pleasant.
Mind you, peaty = smokey. They are not two separate terms. Some like the smoke flavour, others don’t. Coming from a culture where smoking is an age old way of preserving food I must say that I immediately took the peatier Islay whiskies to my heart (and please, there is no such thing as Scotch). The smell of a really classy matured whisky also has a distinct touch of turpentine.
I have tried a bit, I mentioned I had tequila, vodka, beer, and some other stuff, but it all tastes the same to me because the alcohol overpowers everything. The purpose of this topic was just to get an idea of what other people who know the drinks would describe the taste as. Also so I would have some idea of what people are talking about when they talk about drinks. Corona seems to be popular among my friends, but when I ask them why, they can only say “its good”. I have no idea what that means and trying it doesn’t help, as I can’t tell Corona from Grey Goose or Budweiser
I’m like Yog, all alcoholic drinks inevitably just taste like alcohol to me. Oh sure, maybe different alcoholness – vodka tastes like PURE FIRE for instance, while beer (and yes, I’ve tried every fancy craft beer everybody’s ever tried to push on me, so it’s not just Bud Light or whatever – not my thing) tastes more like piss. Hell, I’ve had some Spumante champagne that I would have sworn on my life was beer if I wasn’t told differently. Though I CAN tell the difference between all the drinks I’ve had, unlike you. I appreciate they’re unique and have different tastes… I just hate it almost universally because of that lingering “alcohol” flavor. Wine just tastes like pure alcohol with some really crappy juice mixed in. I do like Bailey’s Irish Cream or Kahlua in milk (with emphasis on the milk), as well as Lime Vodka or Rum in Coke (with emphasis on the Coke), but they’re usually not worth the calories or effort. Despite my hatred of alcohol I’ve tried my hardest to TRY a little bit of everything. I can appreciate the differences and nuances between all the different drinks, despite hating them all for the most part. Some cider beer I had a sip of at an Irish pub was okay, I guess, it was sweet enough that I probably would have made it through three sips instead of the typical one.
But I will say, you might like a Toasted Almond, a type of mixed drink made with Kahlua, Amaretto, and Half-n-Half (sometimes topped with whipped cream). It’s the only drink I’ve had that doesn’t taste alcoholy, but at the same time has a delicious taste that I can’t replicate without using alcohol (unlike say, Lime Vodka in Coke, which roughly tastes like squeezing a lime into Coke, except with the added benefit of making the Coke flat and it making me tipsy which is the most annoying feeling in the universe). Granted, Toasted Almonds aren’t exactly part of a healthy or low-cal diet.
True, but how many people drink gin for the first time and say “It tastes like a Christmas tree!”
I think it gets the point across pretty well.
I don’t drink a lot of the stuff on your list, but I usually describe tequila as being pretty sweet. (And I guess it isn’t actually on your list come to think of it).