I don't even know *who* I want to pit

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m just…not unhappy, but not happy, either. A lot of it is the weather, I think: today it’s just cold and blowing rain all over, very un-Santa Fe-ish.

I’m not homesick. I’m loving college so far. But I freely admit I’m used to being one of the most intelligent people around, and suddenly I’m definitely not. I feel stupid in one of my classes, compared to everyone else, and for once it’s because I truly don’t understand the material, not just “I’m unprepared because I’m lazy as hell”.

I’ve gotten up the guts to talk to a guy who I’m interested in a couple times. He said he’d call me this weekend. He hasn’t.

My roommate’s too goddamned perky every single morning.

People seem to have a hard time with: “No, I’m NOT homesick. I’m calling my best friend fairly regularly because HE’S MY BEST FRIEND. Yes, I sort of miss him, HE’S MY CLOSEST FRIEND.”

My mom called me this morning and sounded genuinely surprised that I didn’t want to go to synagogue for the high holy days, and that I haven’t tried to build some sort of ‘Jewish community’ here. She knows fully well that I can’t fucking STAND judaism, because she and my father forced it on me for so long.

The food just sucks here, there’s never enough of it, and the vegetarian options are the same every fucking day; undercooked rice, potatos, and some nasty-ass grain stuff that’s like, boiled horse feed.

Some people were going to see ‘Hero’ in town the other day, and said that they’d come and get me before they left so I could go, too, but they didn’t.

I thought I may have found someplace where my allergies wouldn’t be as bad and that I wouldn’t get as many headaches…I was wrong.

I thought maybe I’d come closer to finding someplace where I’d actually be happy…instead, I’m fucking idealizing the shithole I’m from, where everyone’s an insensitive, self-absorbed, anti-intellectual fuckwad. :frowning: :mad: I was fine the first week or two here, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me.

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And I can’t even post right. :mad:

Also: the karate club here is just…weak. There are about 10 people total; they barely touch each other when they spar. The instructor knows I"m a black belt in an extremely similar art; he won’t let me use any techniques HE hasn’t taught me in sparring. Everyone else is just doing as a ‘hey that looks kinda fun’ type of thing. No one seems to take it seriously. I can’t get to the one tae kwon do school in town, because th ebus doesn’t go there. I’ve been having decent martial arts workouts a handful of times a week since I was ten; I think that this is part of why I’m so ‘bleh’.

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Hi NinjaChick
Well as if things weren’t bad enough it seems no one has replied to your posting.
Forgive me for being a nitpicker but the correct grammar would be I don’t even know WHOM I want to pit.
And being a college graduate, those college years are not four years of 100% fun are they? I hope you feel better soon - really.
Cheer up - whatever your lot in life - it could only be worse in Milwaukee. (from the Deteriorata).

4

A lot of what you’re experiencing sounds pretty normal. You were expecting everything to get better when you went off to college, and it didn’t. That happens pretty frequently; learning to manage your own expectations is part of growing up. As you settle in and get used to the way things are, it’ll get better.

Other people acting inconsiderate and your parents acting the same as they always have is also normal. Those are things that will continue for the rest of your life, and if you don’t learn to deal with them, you’ll go nuts. That doesn’t mean you need to learn to like them, but such is life.

Now, the allergies and the lack of vegetarian food options is something of a problem. I’ve never had to deal with environmental allergies (just cats and horses, which I can avoid pretty easily), so I can’t help you there, but I have been very dissatisfied with the dining halls. Are you set up to cook for yourself?

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Welcome to college! :smiley:

What you are experiencing is completely normal. Don’t worry…things will start to get better.

If you can’t tolerate the karate club, find someone else to spar with. Start by checking out the bulletin boards at the gym. You need to workout…it’s built in to your system. Put a notice up on the bulletin board looking for workout partners. You might find someone who can give you a run.

Food in college always sucks…it’s a fact of nature. Start hitting the local co-op and stock your dorm refrigerator with edibles that way. Santa Fe is filled with vegetarians…you just have to discover them.

Feeling stupid in one of your classes is a good thing. It means you might actually learn something in this class, instead of skating through because you are smarter than the teacher in this subject! This is the purpose of college.

The first month or so is the hardest. Once you adjust, things will start looking up. remember, you always have us to bitch to! :smiley:

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I don’t know what to say about the allergies, as I found that moving across the country was a great way to get rid of them. However, about the headaches, are you sure you are getting enough water? You should have been there long enough so that altitude shouldn’t be a problem, but it is easy to get dehydrated and not know it. I’ve found, over the years, that unless it’s an allergy/sinus problem, any headaches I get are because of dehydration.

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I know how you feel there. When I went to college, I went from a small rural Texas high school to a fairly well respected private liberal arts school. The difference in expectations was staggering. Eventually, I grew to like not being the smartest. In some ways, there is less pressure on you.

Sounds like you’re having a pretty normal experience compared to me and my friends. There are just so many little things that bother you when you first move off to college. It doesn’t sound like any of them are all that bad on their own, they’re just all happening at the same time. All I can say is to hang in there and things will get slowly better as you get used to everything.

8

sigh

I’m feeling a little bit better right now…just sort of had to blow off some steam. There isn’t anything big that’s bothering me, just a lot of little teeny things that are all new.

And yeah, I know part of the headaches are dehydration, but it’s so hard to keep hydrated at this altitude…

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FTR, college martial arts clubs tend to be jokes. They’re cheap as hell and that’s why I’ve advocated them to you in the past. Here is a fact of life: When you go to a new school with a new style, then you do what the instructor says. At least for a while. That is the respectful thing to do. You know where I stand on what MA I think you should try for a while.

Re: Judiasm. Is that really the reason you hate it? You should seriously meditate on that.

What class are you not doing well in? I’ve had lots of classes where I was totally lost, and then I heard others talk and it turns out that I was the only person who had a clue. I cannot emphasize this enough: Go talk to the prof. Do it. Stop by office hours. Tell her you’re not getting it. Or don’t. Just stop by and chit chat. Maybe she likes TKD. Maybe not. Just get to know her a little. She is a huge source of help and she’s there to help you. (This isn’t the case at many serious research universities, so take advantage of it where you’re at. Though…I’m guessing what school you’re at.)

Oh, call the guy or stop by. This is the 21[sup]st[/sup] century, babe, take the bulls by the horn.

Finally, drop any stereotypes you have and check out the greeks.

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Minor thing: my issue with the guy not calling is he SAID he’d call. If you say you’re gonna call, call, even if it’s to say, “Hey, sorry, nothign’s gonna work out this weekend, see you in class on Tuesday.” I’ve got no qualms about talking to him.

Also - what’s that supposed to mean about judaism, that I should thinka bout whether or not that’s why I hate it?

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Yep. More importantly: Is that a satisfactory reason to hate it. It’s one of those pesky issues you’ll be confronted with if you want to live an examined life. They’re the type of questions most people are too cowardly to really consider; but that you have to consider because being a Doper means that you have tackle the difficult questions. (Especially since you’re not a Doper Troll!)

12

Blinks

Santa Fe? New Mexico?

How did I miss the news of a Doper being transplanted to this fine state?

I hope you feel better soon. Just rest assured that in 10-15 years, you will fondly remember these days as the best of your life.

By the way, should you need help from a neighbor, please feel free to drop me an email.

Take care and good luck!

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Just started college out here. Lovely state, if I may say so.

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Where are you, St. John’s college?

How bout’ dem books?

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Want to go drinking with me sometime? I went through this last year. It’s pretty common, probably especially if you come from a small town school. Can’t give you any advice, but you will get used to it. That doesn’t mean you’ll grow to like the situation though.

[hijack]I know a girl who went from our middle-of-nowhere high school to a preppy university of mostly private school kids. I giggle at her sadistically (yeah, I don’t like her much)[/hijack]

You sound like me and nearly all my friends. You’re normal here.

I’m wondering how big the school you’re going to is. In a smaller school, it’s harder for the cafeteria workers to balance the needs of vegetarians versus meat-lovers, and the numbers of each will affect what food you get. If you’re in a small school with a small vegetarian population, you’re not gonna get much that suits your diet. Complain to the management anyways though. Hopefully they’ll listen. It’ll help if you’re not the only one complaining.

I’m a firm believer that everybody has to find the place that’s right for them. I loved my first year of university, but I love the school in general, and I bet if I’d gone elsewhere, I’d also be idealizing the shithole I’m from…and I was horribly glad to get out of there in the first place. All I can say is, barring some medical reason for you to be feeling this way, if you still hate the place come spring, I’d suggest looking at other schools. This may just be the wrong place for you.

All in all though, I think what you’re experiencing is pretty normal.

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I’ve got nothing to add that hasn’t already been mentioned, but I’ll second (or third…) that my first month or so of college was about the same. Things will look up.

As for vegitarian food, how do you feel about mexican fare? You can get enchilada plates with just cheese, no meat. Or, chile rellanos. Unless, that is, you don’t do dairy either, in which case, I can’t help you there.

Out of curiosity, where did you move from?

If you should find yourself down in Las Cruces drop me an email. Good Luck
~S

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New Jersey, but close enough to Philadelphia for that to be my adopted home.

And it’s not the food in the region, it’s the food in the cafeteria. It’s just - ick. Aramark tends to put frostingn on muffins (like, corn muffins and such) and call them cupcakes.

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Dude… you will grow to love not being the smartest one around. Once you subdue that reflex to answer every question that anyone ever asks in your general vicinity, you’ll find you have much more time to enjoy everything else.

Go to a party and meet another guy.

The chop-socky stuff I can’t help with.

Oh, and don’t ever be surprised that a parent pretends not to understand your lack of religion. Your mother probably sees it as her failing as a parent that you’re not a good Jew, and she hopes that one day you’ll just come to your senses and let her off the hook. Feel free not to do so.

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NinjaChick, you’ve got yourself a case of the adjustment blues. It’s absolutely normal, and it’s not just college related.

Can’t help with the vegetarian diet stuff, except to add to the chorus that says complain.

Do you have enough stripes on your belt that you could lead a class by yourself? You could start your own group, or spin one off the current club with the leader’s consent…

I say you should seek out other Jewish students simply to find people to hang with. Doesn’t mean you have to give up your Saturdays in worship.

The reason your shithole hometown looks so attractive is because you’re used to it, and it’s sinking in that you’re not there anymore. You need to bury yourself in your books, get drunk, date some guys you asked out, and practice poomse in the dorm yard at sunrise. In other words, quit being afraid of the geographic change, and start sucking the marrow out of the bones of life.

I’ve been in Virginia for just about a year now and it took me about 3 months for the novelty-culture shock to wear off (former lifelong Hoosier). Add another 2 months to ‘get into’ life here. Now I consider it home, and I’d have to adjust if I went back to Indiana. I’m still homesick, but in the sense that I need a fix of family that’s not my wife.

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I cut this out of my post, but Aramark was the first thing that came to mind reading your OP. I’ve been spared the horrors, but our sister school uses them, and I’ve heard the food is bad with little variance. I feel for you.