I don't get this Tom Swiftie

Cafe Society
1

A Tom Swiftie, for those who don’t know, is a one-line joke based on a punning self-reference to a line of dialogue.

“I can’t believe I ate the whole pineapple,” Tom said dolefully.
“My steering wheel won’t turn,” Tom said straightforwardly.
“My specialty is milking cows,” Tom uttered.

Anyway, I was reading a list and came across this:

“Cobblers!” Tom said at last.

And I don’t get it. As far as I know a cobbler is a guy who fixes shoes or a fruit based dessert. Neither seems to make much sense, unless you figure a desert is the last part of a meal, but that seems really weak.

Is there something, obvious or obscure, that I’m missing here?

2

A last is a support or form used by a shoemaker.

3

Dunno. WAG: Cobbler fix shoes and make them last longer?

Not all swifties are gold.

4

twickster got it. As soon as I read his post I suddenly remembered the ‘shoe lasting machine’ of one of those African-American invention lists we get every February.

5

Here ya go:

last3 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (lst)
n.
A block or form shaped like a human foot and used in making or repairing shoes.

tr.v. last·ed, last·ing, lasts
To mold or shape on a last.

[Middle English leste, laste, from Old English lste, from lst, lst, sole of the foot. See leis-1 in Indo-European Roots.]

6

Since you have your answer, can anybody tell me the name for this kind of thing:

“Get out of my yard, or I’ll blow you to pieces,” he hinted.

7

I’m thinking maybe * litote * – a deliberate understatement for emphasis.

8

There’s also the saying, “Cobbler, stick to your last”.

http://www.mythfolklore.net/aesopica/oxford/588.htm

9

Also, the use of “cobblers” as an expletive/exclamation is a Britishism. It’s from Cockney rhyming slang (cobblers’ awls = balls).

10

Kind of like “‘Shut up,’ he explained”?

11

“Hello,” he lied.

12

FTR, I’m a “she.”

13

One of the all-time funniest. Like “How can you tell so-and-so is lying?” Answer: “His lips are moving.”

Or as one lawyer says to another as they pass a gorgeous woman on the street, “Man, I’d love to fuck her.” The other says, “Out of what?”

Another from that category temporarily labeled above as “litote” (I checked the dictionary and feel that term is too weak for what I’m looking for, or else too broad, and in any case it’s “litotes” both singular and plural):

“Your daughter is so butt-ugly that I wouldn’t marry her for all your money,” he observed.

or

“Goddamn it, can’t you assholes play football?” he suggested.