BTW - Now when we go out to dinner with the SO’s step-dad, I have a deal with the wait staff (we’re regulars at the one restaurant). I fill my glass to the brim, but I leave it near the edge of the table. The waiter zips by and switches it for an empty glass which he then “tops up.” I still don’t drink it, but our elderly step-dad still thinks he is being very hospitable and that we’ve all enjoyed a decadent eveing.
As everyone else said, please be careful mixing SSRIs and alcohol. When I was on Paxil, two drinks could make me deathly sick.
I understand about self-medicating, whether it be with pills or alcohol. I have a tendency to rely on prescription painkillers a little too much and while I realize it, I’m having trouble doing anything about it. I have chronic pain from a horseback riding accident in August, so I’m actually taking the pills for pain, but they numb me, too. They numb my depression and make me a little happier.
I don’t think you’re an alcoholic, but I think the fact that you realize you’re trying to cover things up does indicate a problem. Are you seeing a therapist? Is there anyone you can talk to in ‘real’ life?
Good luck to you. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email. I do understand exactly what you’re going through.
Ava
cuauhtemoc, all I can do is echo the words of many other wise posters here. I wish you strength and courage as you go on a new path.
I just want to say that alcoholism is a tough battle to fight, but it can be fought successfully. Just don’t drink one day at a time.
Robin, sober for 3593 days and counting.
Beware of the fallacious thinking that one would not have a “drinking problem” if only they made more money, or had a more loving spouse, or reconciled with their father, or the dog hadn’t died, or weren’t depressed etc. etc. etc. Most people who are worried about their drinking and then manage to fix the perceived deficit continue to drink in an unhealthy way.
And the best way to treat any mental illness (such as depression, dysthymia, bipolar illness, etc) is to remove ALL primary mood-altering drugs (alcohol, cocaine, etc. NOT anti-depressants or mood stabilizers) until such a time as things have stabilized for a minimum of six to 12 months.
HI ** cuauhtemoc**!
As a person who’s father was addicted to alcohol, painkillers and stimulants, I’ve always been wary of addiction myself. I drink moderately, but occaisonaly wonder if I drink too much. As a result, I tend to purposefully not drink for a few weeks/months a year, as a check on my behaviour. If I can give it up with no cravings (real cravings, not “Wouldn’t a beer go down nice right now”.) I figure I’m OK. In fact, February is a planned dry month for me, though more for dietary reasons.
Anyway, if you need support I just recently moved to S. Jersey and have kind of a limited social life. If you like, shoot me an email and we can hang out. (no pickup intended, I’m happily married to moi )
At any rate, good luck.
tdc
I agree with MsRobyn.
I used to drink my self to a stupor.
Haven’t touched the stuff for a long time and don’t miss it one bit.
I feel like I’ve won my life back.
You might also be suffering the effects of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Winter in the more northerly states can be rough on some people (insert joke here about how New Jersey is no picnic even in the best of seasons!).
I know someone who takes Prozac for depression, which helps a lot. But moving from here (VA) to Arizona made almost as much of a difference. Lots more sunlight proved to be a real boon. The fact that you’re thinking of moving to a more tropical climate might be an instance of your brain trying to tell you something! Hope it works out.
Hi again.
Thank you all for your responses, they are much appreciated. I can see that some of you have had your own lives or the lives of people close to you deeply affected by alcohol, and I think I can see where you’re coming from.
However, without being defensive, I want to clarify a few things about what I said. First, about lacking satisfaction in my life and using alcohol to fill the void: Yes, I do this, but only very occasionally. It’s been happening a little more often lately, and realizing that startled me a little. But I think that very few people get through life without doing this sometimes. I think it was the fact that I was by myself and drinking to get drunk that really made me think this time. I probably will go several months without doing that again.
Now, when I said that I wouldn’t drink if I had something satisfying in my life, I may have misspoke. Number one, I’m not looking for one thing to make it all worthwhile, I know life doesn’t work like that, notwithstanding Curly from City Slickers. I’m looking to change the circumstances of my life overall so I can feel better about getting up in the morning and facing another day, and I’m making lots of progress, but like I said, it’s slow going. Number two, I’d probably still drink sometimes if I had a higher level of satisfaction with life, but then I would be drinking for the right reasons, i.e. to celebrate, to socialize, etc. rather than the wrong reasons, i.e. stimulation, euphoria, or the anaesthetic properties. Thus, I would hardly ever get drunk.
I don’t miss alcohol when I don’t have it. I never crave it. Last night, I went to the movies. When I got home it was only 10PM and I was bored. Sometimes I take long walks, but it was way too cold to do that. I didn’t want to watch TV, because TV is boring. In fact, all of my options seemed boring. But I still had nearly half a bottle of Jack Daniel’s left over from a few weeks ago. So I made use of that, but I think it taught me that getting drunk by yourself is just as boring as anything else I could have wasted my time with. Live and learn.
I also think there’s a flaw in the “If you think you have a problem, you probably do” line of reasoning. I’m kind of a worrywort sometimes. Maybe a little bit of hypochondria thrown into the mix. Last year, I thought I had a problem with coffee, because I drank up to two cups a day. Until someone pointed out to me that two cups is a very moderate amount of coffee to drink. Another thing I worry about sometimes is my eating.
In fact, if I have an addiction, or any destructive habit, that’s it. The eating really does bother me. My weight goes up and down, and although I’m not obese, I could stand to lose a few. The problem comes when I eat myself sick. I’ll order a pizza and eat it all. Eight slices of pizza is not healthy. I never feel good when I’m finished, but when I feel stressed, or bored, or depressed, I turn to food for comfort and stimulation.
It makes sense, because when I was growing up, there was a liquor cabinet full of booze in our house that nobody ever touched. It was there for company, and for the holidays, or sometimes my Mom would use it for cooking. But nobody in my family was all that interested in drinking alcohol, so the liquor cabinet stayed shut. The refrigerator, however, was a different story. God damn, did we eat in that house. Food was everything. It was the only topic of conversation sometimes. It was your best friend and your worst enemy. Someone was always on a diet. Yet we continued to eat, eat, eat.
This is getting long, so I’ll wrap up. The point is that the (relatively minor) problems in my life cause me to seek good feelings wherever I can find them, sometimes in the wrong places. I realize that in the long run, the only thing that’s going to work is making a commitment to myself and taking care of things at home, and I’m working on it. I’ll make a few more mistakes along the way, I’m sure, but nothing is going to convince me that drinking more alcohol is the way to go, especially after the headache I had this morning.
P.S. that_darn_cat, I’d love to hang out, unfortunately I’m all the way up in Rockaway! I do have family in E.H.T. though. Maybe I’ll drop you a line the next time I’m going to be down there.
And on preview, I see that Early Out has mentioned Seasonal Affective Disorder. There is no doubt in my mind that the seasons have a major effect on my mood. That’s precisely why I’m trying to move down south. Very perceptive of you.
I’ll quickly add my 2 cents worth here, then hit the sack. None of us here can tell you if you have an alcohol problem. I myself have been in recovery for over 17 years, and I doubted I had a problem for years before I woke up. Nobody could get me there… I had to come to that realization myself. When I did, I made the effort to stay sober and I have managed to do so with help from friends and my H.P.
Several people who responded to this thread stated they have quit off and on, either to get some balance back, or to see if they really had a problem. I used to do that too, going for a few months without ever touching the stuff, thinking that being able to do so meant I wasn’t an alcoholic. Wrong. Alcoholics (and addicts of other drugs) frequntly do that, believing that a “real” alcoholic or addict would find it impossible to do so. I am a substance abuse counselor, and many years ago I had a client who, with a totally straight face, told his entire group “I’m not an alcoholic, because I can quit… I’ve done it hundreds of times!” He was one of the sickest alcoholics I had ever seen my career.
Concerning drinking while taking SSRIs… absolutely this is completely contraindicated. Most pharmacies even put a little sticker on your medicine bottle that tells you not to drink if you are taking the medication. SSRIs are anti-depressants, and alcohol is a depressant. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see this equation is going to, at the very least, cancel out the effect of the SSRI. At worst, you may have a potentially dangerous interaction between the alcohol and medication. I assume because you are on an SSRI, you have in interest in not feeling depressed. For your sake, start by cutting out the alcohol and see if the anti-depressant has a real chance to work. And as a rule of thumb in my field, someone who drinks alcohol while knowingly taking medications for which alcohol is contraindicated is, in the very least, abusing alcohol.
Concerning Seasonal Affective Disorder, I was afflicted with that as well, and moving to Phoenix almost 2 decades ago helped considerably. But it didn’t stop my partying. Alcohol allowed me to be social animal and I enjoyed that when I drank. The S.A.D. went away once I moved here, but that was not why I drank. I drank because it worked for me… at least until it started to bite me in the ass. That’s when I had to look at myself and make a really hard decision to quit.
All of you who expressed ANY level of concern about your drinking, including the OP, take a hard, long look at what you are doing. I wish you all well in your lives and hope you find your way, whatever that may be. My best to you.
I don’t know if I can add to anything that’s been said here but my own experience.
I am an alcoholic, full blown, drink every damn night, alcoholic. I don’t drink when I know I have obligations that require my brain to not be pickled though the next day.
Can I go without it? Sure I can. Does it bother me when I can’t get that liquid of feeling good? Yes, most nights I sleep horrible if I don’t drink. But I can go without it.
I recognize my alcohol dependancy. While I don’t need it physically, I need it psychologically.
The thing is, if you question your alcohol habits, chances you do need to rethink it and do something about it. I don’t advocate continued drinking but if it’s affecting other parts of your life, then yes, you need to discuss with your doc more about your consuming of alcoholic bevarages.
I can tell you, straight up, mixing depression meds with alcohol can completely work against you. I know this from experience. I was psycho-bitch-from-hell while on Wellbutrin and drinking. Ask many old timers here, and they will agree with me. Alcohol is, by it’s “nature” a depressant and working against your meds. You may as well forego the meds if you continue to drink. Essentially, it’s cancelling out the benefits of your meds, the drinking that is.
I admit, my drinking is mostly because I am bored out of my skull. The problem is, I have money coming in each month that doesn’t truly motivate me to get at least a part-time job. Oh yeah, I could use the extra cash, don’t get me wrong but I get by.
Anyhow, you stated you think you have a problem and if you want to do something about it, then do. It’s your life and only you can make the decision to stop doing something that you feel is harmful to your life. No other person on this Earth can do it for you.
So, like the person who stopped smoking, you need to find those triggers that make you drink and overcome them. Maybe you need to get into a program or maybe you don’t. But it is most important that you look to the triggers and try to find ways to avoid them. If you feel you need a program, go for it. Don’t be embarrassed here or in AA if that’s what you think you need. There are and have been millions before you that have had a problem with drinking alcohol.
As for my drinking. I will deal with that when I am ready. Stopping smoking has been a very difficult and trying thing for me (while gaining weight) so until I have licked that portion of bad habits, I will just leave the drinking alone and continue until I have passed the mental need for nicotene. You can only do so much at one time without feeling like you are denying yourself of all that you know.
I hope that helps a little bit. But if you are drinking while on depression meds, you are (as I said) cancelling out the benfits of your meds. Please talk to your doc about this, this could be worse for you in the long run.
I don’t have as much time as I would like to reply to you, but I just wanted to say that I am in almost the same position as you.
I drink what I think is a little too much, a little too often. I am on meds for depression, and I know that it works against me in the long run, but when you get the immediate relief that alcohol brings, it is hard to say no. I definitely use it to deal with anxiety and dissatisfaction with my life - even though, like you, I am trying to do something about it that side of things.
Most people I know drink more than me, but I would never use that as a gauge to tell whether or not it was a problem. My father is an alcoholic (recovered), a lot of my relatives on that side of my family were, and I went through a nightmare when I was growing up dealing with my father’s drinking, so I know the dangers all too well. In actual fact, I think that this is why I am so sensitive to the fact that there might be a problem, or potential problem.
My bottom line is that if I think that it could get out of hand, or is getting out of hand, then that is enough for me to think that I should cut back or, preferably, stop.
And in actual fact, I made the decision a couple of days ago to do just that, for a while at least.
And the funny thing is, I never drank until I went to university, and then only in moderation. It has only been in the last few years that I have shown myself that I have the same type of succeptability as my father, and that scares me. I think that that is reason enough to be careful.
But my advice to you, is the same that I give myself, and that other people have said, is that if you feel it is interfering in your life, then there is a problem. Maybe not a drink till you fall down, every day, kind of problem, but one that gets in the way of your overall happiness level.
Anyway, gotta get to work, but you have my complete sympathy, cos I know exactly where you are coming from.
As I do with all such threads, I’d like to suggest the possibility of moderation instead of abstinence. You have to make that decision for yourself. And some people are unable to moderate. Consider checking out Moderation Management.
http://www.moderation.org/
I have drunk moderately since last April, after a couple of decades drinking to excess - both in terms of frequency and volume. I am very pleased with the change. And I very much enjoy the alcohol I now choose to drink.
Looking back, I wish I had not drunk as much as I did for so long. Mainly, because it took up so much time, and kept me from doing so many other things. I spent all my time and $ in college “partying,” instead of seeking out new and different activities. And I believe it interfered with some relationships, and prevented others from developing.
Now that I am generally sober or only moderately buzzed, I view drunken people far differently than I would have wished to be viewed when I was one. Which is not to say it is a “bad thing” to occasionally get rip roaringly shitfaced.
Dinsdale, I can only speak for myself, but I feel that if it’s not good for me to drink as much as I’d like—if I have to put limitations on it—then the hell with it entirely.
cuauhtemoc, whatever you’re going through, you’re going to have to work through it yourself. Commie Pinko said exactly what I would have said when I was 22. And no, I don’t have a better idea.
A lot of addicts become that way because they feel powerless. Drinking or drugging is the one thing they can do for themselves, and they resent the suggestion that they stop just because other people tell them to. Until you’ve reached that place where you can’t stand your life as it is, you won’t have the incentive to stop and stay stopped.
I think I remember someone recently decrying twelve-step programs on the grounds that “They tell you you’re powerless…that alcohol has control over you.” Not so. That’s only the first step. After that, it’s all about regaining control. Which is difficult, if not impossible, if you’re not taking the first step willingly.
Now, my story:
Boy did I drink. I kind of “matured out of it” after college, but the liquor was always there. And I could handle it. Handle a lot of it, actually. Whiskey, mostly. Never liked beer or wine, which IMO is a good thing, under the present circumstances.
Then I was diagnosed with seizure disorder, and put on Dilantin. Like a fool, I drank during the first year that I was on it. Only “occasionally”, but I shouldn’t have been doing it at all. That’s how I found out that moderation doesn’t do it for me.
Then came the night of July 2nd.
—My liver can no longer process alcohol.
—I blacked out for the first and only time. I woke up in my own bed, not knowing how I got there, to hear Mr. Rilch say, “Friend wants you to go over there and clean your puke off his couch.” I didn’t remember vomiting. I don’t remember anything after the refrigerator.
—Based on what I do remember, I temporarily became someone else: someone I don’t like.
The next morning, I determined that I couldn’t drink again: after the beating my liver had taken that night (not to mention my brain), one more drink would push me over the edge. I haven’t even wanted a drink since then. With the memory of that night as a deterrent, it was easy to stay stopped.
But that’s also easy for me to say. I’m 32, soon to be 33: I’ve done my drinking. Again I say, I know what you guys are going through. Add me to the list of people to e-mail if you want to talk.
I hope to hear, from both of you, a story similar to scott evil’s (you go, scott!), but that’s entirely up to you.
I wish you the best. Also the best to everyone else on or off the wagon!
Oh, and when I go out, I have a non-alcoholic cocktail, like a virgin margarita. When Mr. Rilch has wine with dinner, I have sparkling grape juice. When it’s a special occasion, I want to have something “special”, not just a soft drink that I could have any time! Quitting drinking shouldn’t send you back to the kiddies’ table.
Boy am I thrilled to see this thread bumped. :o
I’ve given it some thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I do not have a drinking problem. I have a depression problem, but I’m working on it, making progress, and am generally in a decent place. Thanks for all your advice, and may we all solve all our problems to the best of our abilities.
you know you have a drinking problem when, at a party:
*you chug a bottle of vodka like lesser beings would chug a heineken, as your friends count you off to a time of 23 seconds
*you go to mix a screwdriver for a topless girl but accidentally pour the vodka into your pint of guinness which was sitting directly adjacent to the cup of orange juice
*you sit down in a wheel chair and fall backwards onto your ass. 15 times.
*you finally, after a fifth and a half of smirnoff, stumble into a bathroom where your friend is receiving oral sex in the bathtub and puke your guts out into the toilet, then promptly leave without saying anything.
*you pass out on the living room floor, your friends put you in a bedroom where you nearly die jimi-hendrix-style if not for your friend Mark.
*in the same room, you wake up after 2 hours, and turn to see your female friend being raped in the mouth by an anonymous hispanic male.
*despite seeing this, you pass out for another two hours.
*you wake up with nary a hangover and everyone’s getting laid, which depresses you, so you drink some more.
*and you throw up some more.
Man, what a friday night.