In which I pit myself for atonement. It’s a Catholic thing.
sobs
iTunes Music Store is the devil incarnate, as is their Top 100 Billboard playlists for the years between 1943 and 2003. I just spent $17 reliving my not-so-distant youth downloading 90s songs including…
“Quit Playing Games”
I didn’t mean to do it! It just happened! Suddenly there it was in my shopping cart like some festering cancer plucked from the shelf by the nosy two-year old of my soul and I couldn’t… remove… it. Please Lord forgive my lapse of judgement! I am unclean…
hangs his head in shame
Uhh… what other songs did I buy? shifty-eyed
Un-Break My Heart - Toni Braxton
Hold My Hand - Hootie and the Blowfish
Only Wanna be With You - Hootie
Let Her Cry - Hootie (Hey, I was on a roll)
All I Wanna Do - Sheryl Crow
I Love You Always Forever - Donna Lewis
All Star - Smash Mouth (for my Mom. No! Really!)
Breathe - Faith Hill
I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack
Can’t Get You Outta My Head - Kylie Minogue
The Sign - Ace of Base
Shine - Collective Soul
What Is Love - Haddaway
I’d Do Anything For Love - Meat Loaf
Where Does My Heart Beat Now - Celine Dion
Another Day In Paradise - Phil Collins
Upon reflection, perhaps I have more songs I should be pitting myself for…
Holy hell, Priam! The fact that you would admit your list on a public message board makes you my new hero.
Incidently, I hate Hootie and I’ll tell you why. I was hospitalized for a couple of weeks and while I was home recovering from surgery I watched a lot of TNT. They aired commercials for The Goodbye Girl, a TNT made-for-TV movie adapted from Neil Simon’s play of the same title. During every commercial break for NYPD Blue they’d have Hootie singing that fucking song. I hate him now and if I ever meet him I’m seriously considering kicking him in the nuts.
[sub]Great, now I’ve got Quit Playing Games with My Heart stuck in my head…[/sub]
I have an air-tight defense for allegations of easy listening tendencies. When I was younger, I had serious ear problems and intense bass songs or songs that required high volume made me seriously uncomfortable. I’ve not acquired a taste for them even after all the surgeries healed that problem up. Plus, sadly enough, such songs were practically an act of rebellion in a household raised on hard rock (my dad was a band sound technician in his younger days)
I hear ya. I was just playing around in the music store last weekend, when I stubled on the new charts section. Before you know it, ten to 15 new songs, all of dubious artistic merit, had been charged to the Amex. I finally realized I had a problem, and needed help, wheh I realized I had actually paid good money for “I hate everything about you” by Ugly Kid Joe (I don’t know why, it was there, brought back memories of high school…)
Although I have the latest iTunes player, I have yet to visit the store. You see, I know that I would not be able to control myself. I love Ace of Base, but I haven’t replaced my worn-out cassettes with CDs so I haven’t actually listened in awhile. I’m afraid of what else I might download.
Can you say Information Society and The Escape Club?
See, this is what happens when you do things legally. You support artists who DO NOT NEED SUPPORTING! And then the record companies go “Gosh, people are buying this, we better churn out 10 bands just like them!”
Were it I hearing your confession, a self-pitting is nowhere near an adequate penance for such a heinous act of artistic self-abuse. I’d make you wear sackcloth… with a mall iron-on picture of the Backstreet Boys. You’d be wearing this ‘scarlet letter’ for a week.
And don’t be blaming it on iTunes. You’re morally responsible for your own actions, you, you… pop idolater.
Consider switching to Rhapsody. You get to put all those horrid candy rock songs in your personal jukebox to listen over and over again on your computer. It takes away the need to pay for and download 'em. Tell 'em David Cassidy sent you.
See, this is exactly why I have a huge box under my bed filled with dozens of old tapes from the long-ago days of my youth. I pull them out from time to time and listen to my heart’s content in the privacy of my own home and spare myself the embarassment of having to download songs such as “The Globe” by Big Audio Dynamite…
The more you people type, the more this sounds like an illicit pleasure. Like someone’s collection of beastiality porn or something… not that I have any of that, of course.
