So, there seems only one way to settle this. Van Damme, Seagal and Norris, a steel cage, cover 'em all in gravy and see who comes out alive. My money’s on Van Damme.
mm
Depending how old it is, I bet on the gravy.
Seagal takes himself out of the running when he bastes his own forearm in the tasty brown fluid and eats it.
Is there going to be a side order of Cole slaw and biscuits? I loves me some biscuits–especially blood-soaked biscuits courtesy of a death match.
Never heard of that, but I did hear a rumor that Van Damme once picked a fight with Seagal and got his ass kicked. UL?
Not fair to put Norris in there, he’s too much older than the other two.
For my money, if you are trying to land spinning kicks in a fight, you are either extremely undermatched or about to land on something other than your opponent’s body.
You can’t really judge who is good (though you can judge plenty easily who is bad) at fighting from a movie, since movie fight scenes are designed to A) look cool and B) take lots of time and with actual fight scenes, neither party is entirely interested in having the match last more than … well, one blow, ideally. If your first move isn’t to knock the opponent down (or, maybe, catch 'em offguard), you’d better hope that opponent’s first move fails.
Or, more simply: if your health depends on it, would you rather have to pick a card from a deck of one or a deck of more than one?
Taking martial arts proficiency on the screen and saying that person could kick ass in person based on the screen performance is like looking at your prom date and assuming she has mounds of cleavage regardless of what she does.
Age and cunning will always defeat youth and enthusiam.
I think Chuck could probably just let his beard get in the cage and sub for him. And he’d still win win 'cuz he’s Chuck “FREAKIN” Norris.
I think Chuck could probably just let his beard get in the cage and sub for him. And he’d still win 'cuz he’s Chuck “FREAKIN” Norris.