Over the weekend it was decided (not by me, by the way) it would be a good idea to reload the hard drive or something on the computer. I’m not 100% sure why, but now everything’s all better. And by “all better” I mean it seems to be working right now.
Now, the good thing about using a Mac is that they give you these two Assistants, Bernice and Phaedra, to help you set up your machine. Easy-peasy. They ask you a bunch of questions and you tell them what you want and everything is Jake. The bad thing is they don’t tell you about them and if you snub your Assistants you’re screwed.
Yeah, you could go through all the “Preference” files and fill them all in and you think you’ve got it all because you checked them over three and four times, but when you hit the “Go” button the computer just sits there and looks at you. This is the antithesis of “easy-peasy”. What “sad” is to “happy”, this is to “easy-peasy”. I think it’s something along the lines of “like you’ve been attacked by irritable wild weasels or maybe stoats if I really knew what a “stoat” was that have just gone on the Atkins Diet and now have a big ol’ hankerin’ for meat and have settled on your ass as the Main Course”. Only that’s too long. So maybe it’s not what I was going after.
Anyway, Bernice is supposed to set up your computer just the way you want it. All the colors and beeps and screens and stuff, that’s Bernice’s bailiwick. Phaedra does all the “on-line” stuff. Like sets up calling up your Service Provider and telling them you’d like to be on-line for a while and just makes everything swell. Only if you snub her and try to do all this yourself, you’ll get about… NOWHERE!
“Hello,” you say. “I’d like to get on-line now!”
And nothing happens. You click some buttons and search through the Control Panels and then you say “HELLO!” and Phaedra, when she gets around to it says “Huh?” and then you tell her you want to go on-line and she says you can’t because you haven’t filled out all the right fields and you say you did because you distinctly remember doing them over and over to make sure you got it right and then she implies you’re on Crack. It’s loads of fun. Then, if you’re smart, you ask Phaedra what she wants to make everything all better and she gives you a list of fields to fill out which are just like the fields you’ve filled out three and four times, but you fill them out one more time and POOF! everything works. Like I said, easy-peasy.
(Phaedra’s a big bitch. But don’t tell her I said that.)
So now, as far as I know, everything’s fine. Only it’s Tuesday instead of Monday, so my whole week is going to be off. But that’s not your problem, is it?
Also, when your dog has a seizure, it’s VERY IMPORTANT you call me RIGHT AWAY. It’s what I’m here for. I’ll listen to you go on and on and then, with huge globs of sympathy, say “yup, that’s a seizure”. It’ll make everyone feel much better.