I feel dirty.

It’s not my fault. The President is speaking just a few miles from me. How can I cleanse my mind and soul when he leaves?

The heads of the Witness Protection Program will do it for you, since they now have to relocate you, as you gave away your location…

Drink a pint of your own fresh urine, it’ll get the bad taste from out of your mouth.

Rent Animal House.

I find that curling up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth and humming “Itsy Bitsy Spider” helps me quite alot.

You might feel dirty but… now your blue dress is still clean.