I feel dishonest

My mother recently got an ipad after she saw mine when I went to visit her. Mainly, she wants it to keep track of her traveling children. Anyway, while I was visiting I showed her how we could play words with friends.

So we have been playing but I have sometimes been letting her win.

She likes to play for fun.

I feel so dishonest.

Does your mom play Words with other people? If she’s accustomed to playing against competitive people, she should be able to handle losing to you.

No, she only plays with me. She calls me and we stay on the phone the whole time. My Mom is old school. She is not competitive at all.

I am enjoying spending the time with her. I just feel a dishonest.

You could gradually let up as she gets better at the game. It probably doesn’t hurt to go easy on her as she’s learning it, but she could eventually be ready to play against other people.

I have no idea how this particular game works, but I do know how to deal with disparities in game players’ abilities: handicapping.

Offer the less-advantaged competitor (child, disabled, slower-responding, new to the game, etc) some compensating advantage – extra points, playing pieces, turns, time, whatever will level the playing field.

It preserves the self-respect of the players as being fair, and can be tweaked until the wins are balanced. Or not, if you want to tilt the outcome a little … :slight_smile:

Are you looking to solve any problem here? If so, then what? Or, are you just venting or getting it off your chest?

I’m guessing this stuff is something mundane and pointless she must share.

I was just putting it out there.

My Mom doesn’t use a computer so she is learning a lot at once. I don’t know why I feel so guilty.

Nah, don’t feel guilty. You’re entertaining her, probably teaching her new words, keeping her mind sharp. Do not feel guilty, do not let her know you ‘let’ her win. Just enjoy the time with your mom. :slight_smile:

I would feel awful if she found out. I know she is happy to play and connect with me. There are a lot of miles between us.

Oh, so I wasn’t supposed to send her a link to this thread? :frowning:

Are you sure she doesn’t know? If she’s just happy to connect with you, she might be humoring you to keep it going and make you happy.

When you were little, did she ever play games with you and let you win?

My mother sends me cheques for my birthday and Christmas. I never cash them. I blatantly lie to her about the lovely things I buy with the money, and thank her for these fabulous gifts.

Do I feel guilty? Hell no. It makes her day to think she’s been able to buy me something nice; and it makes my day knowing that she has this pleasure without the financial pain.

Don’t waste your time feeling bad, ~Olive~. Someone’s gotta win, and it might as well be your mum.