My son got a 96 out of 100 on his math final in his freshman year of high school.
My mother told him he probably copied from someone else. She wasn’t joking. WTF?
(note: he’s been doing well all year. Last year, not so good. But all this year, quite well.)
I don’t know you, your son, or your mother, but on the face of things that sounds pretty fucked up.
Yep.
Maybe she has Alzheimer’s. Or maybe she’s just mean.
Time to slap the old bat with a trout (or vice verse).
Grandchildren rank much higher than their grandparents in the overall scheme of things although a lot of people do not understand that. Make up some type of test that looks like an innocent game and administer it to her. No matter what she scores, call her a liar and punish her for it. If she has limited mobility, make her stay in her house for a week. If she lives with you, don’t let her go anywhere until she writes “I am a liar but my grandchildren are the greatest” 1000 times.
I am barely kidding. I hated my maternal grandmother so badly that I instituted punitive measures any chance I got. Let’s just say that the day of her death wasn’t one of the saddest days of my life.
Son of a diseased rhesus monkey, that’s sucky of her.
What does your son say about it?
How did your son take the accusation?
For that matter, did she explain why she was convinced he had to have cheated?
Brujaja, has your mother always been such a delight? If yes, well, she’s just a bitch. (Like my mom - the woman who told me, when in 9th grade I’d written about 80 pages of a novel and I was telling her about the praise and encouragement my English teacher was giving me, “you should stop wasting your time on that nonsense and concentrate on your schoolwork.”)
But if she’s just a bitch, and you are old enough to have a son in high school, you already KNOW she’s a virago, don’t you? Are you just asking us because you want support?
If this is new behavior … maybe she is unwell?
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin]
Time to slap the old bat with a trout (or vice verse).
[/QUOTE]
OK. Rainbow or German Brown?
[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
Grandchildren rank much higher than their grandparents in the overall scheme of things although a lot of people do not understand that. Make up some type of test that looks like an innocent game and administer it to her. No matter what she scores, call her a liar and punish her for it. If she has limited mobility, make her stay in her house for a week. If she lives with you, don’t let her go anywhere until she writes “I am a liar but my grandchildren are the greatest” 1000 times.
I am barely kidding. I hated my maternal grandmother so badly that I instituted punitive measures any chance I got. Let’s just say that the day of her death wasn’t one of the saddest days of my life.
[/QUOTE]
Bless your heart. You can always be counted on to say the right irreverent thing. 
Cairo Carol: Two legitimate questions. Honestly, yes, I was mostly just asking because I wanted support. You know how someone can be a monster, and yet still keep boggling you periodically with the depths to which they can sink, monster-wise? I genuinely had been under the impression that her problem was primarily with me. Oh, I knew she would come up with ridiculously repressive policies and so forth with respect to him when he’s at her house… but this is, as noted above, just mean. I mean, this is undermining someone’s self-confidence at a critical age; or attempting to.
Fortunately, and in answer to those who’ve asked, he knows that he’s smart and capable. He said that he responded by saying that his grades had been good all year, and there’s just no way to do that well by copying others’ work. (besides, I would think that a 9th-grade math teacher would notice some kid copying the entire final from someone else.) He didn’t say what specifically she said to that, except that she still didn’t believe him. There’s no reason why not – His uncle has a PhD in computer science with a minor in physics, and is co-author of a platform that nearly everyone reading this uses on their PC every day. It’s because he is MY child, and I am wanton irredeemable evil. (perhaps you hadn’t noticed, heh.)
Both of her parents died of Alzheimer’s which presented at a much younger age than she is now. And yes, she has been doing other things for awhile now that lead me to think that --insofar as I am able to be fair with respect to her-- I can fairly say that she is probably beginning to lose it.
Because of the adversarial nature of her relationship to me, I doubt very much that there is any way I could introduce the topic or get her some help; we don’t speak to each other now.
I guess it’s kinda lame; but because there is no way to confront her or rationally discuss it with her or anything (though the trout idea sounds better & better! 
) it makes me feel a little better to see other fair-minded, rational people say, yes, she sucks. My apologies if it’s wrong of me.
It’s not wrong of you. She’s spent years trying to make you feel bad, it’s normal to check reality (where she’s concerned) when she has spent so long warping it.
You know what I get from your posts? Your kid believed in his own reality instead of hers. Well done. It sounds like you’re raising a well adjusted person.
Thanks, maggenpye. Point taken. Even a mean attack doesn’t accomplish anything if they’re using a rubber sword.
If I were in your shoes I would call your mother out on it. As you are already not on speaking terms, you have nothing to lose in that regard. After the fact I would let your son know, because after all your his mom. He loves you and this will only strengthen that love. As for yourself I would be very straightforward with your mother. This might not help your relationship but sharing the truth with her might. That your hurt and that it was hateful for her to say that to your son, and her grandson. People sometimes need a reminder that they too once made the same mistakes in youth and forgivness keeps all of your loves strong. If she rejects you, at least you know you have done what is right, and you will be at peace with it even if she is not.
Barring Alzheimer’s, that just sounds mean-spirited and petty. Unfortunately some family elders are like that - faults are remembered indefinitely; successes sniffed at, damned with faint praise, or forgotten entirely, all in the name of not being “big-headed” or “resting on your laurels”.
And well done, son! 96% isn’t handed out for nothing.
I would stop letting your son visit her or see her or call her. There’s no reason for such nastiness. Grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren, sit back and laugh knowingly when they act up, slip them money when their parents aren’t looking.
At least your son knows better. That speaks volumes to your parenting. Quite frankly, there’s really no reason for him to spend any time with her, is there?
High School is a very trying times in a person’s life, and the last thing they need is undeserved criticism. If people are going to accuse you of cheating, why not cheat?
I would tell her that it’s your job to raise your children, it’s her job to enjoy her grandchildren.
I feel you Brujaja - in an English test I did at school I scored 99% and the reaction from my father was “You were so close to 100%, so close!”.
Sounds like your mother is a cow who you don’t want to be foistering onto your son until he’s at the point where he can ignore her comments.
Wow, Illuminatiprimus, that’s crazy! And, Annie-Xmas, you’re right.
After all, if a kid can’t ever do well enough to be praised, it’s pretty demoralizing.
Maybe you should tell your son about the possibility of your mother’s impending Alzheimer’s, as a very good reason to discount her horrible comments.
Seems like he’d handle it appropriately.
[QUOTE=Shagnasty]
Grandchildren rank much higher than their grandparents in the overall scheme of things although a lot of people do not understand that. Make up some type of test that looks like an innocent game and administer it to her. No matter what she scores, call her a liar and punish her for it. If she has limited mobility, make her stay in her house for a week. If she lives with you, don’t let her go anywhere until she writes “I am a liar but my grandchildren are the greatest” 1000 times.
I am barely kidding. I hated my maternal grandmother so badly that I instituted punitive measures any chance I got. Let’s just say that the day of her death wasn’t one of the saddest days of my life.
[/QUOTE]
Wait…what the fuck?
I get that grandparents can lose the love and respect of their grandchildren by being assholes, but its hard for me to fathom this kind of animosity. However much they fail in their duty to you (general you), you owe them a smidgeon of decency by virtue of the fact that they are largely the reason you exist, no?
And brujaja, you have nothing to worry about with your son. He’s a freshman now–some wacky comment from his off kilter grandma is NOTHING compared to the four year emotional trauma that is highschool.
Besides, who’s the one with his whole life ahead of him?