I feel like I'm going insane!! Panic attack?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hi.

Umm…this is a bit weird for me. I’m not known to be a panicky kind of guy, and generally I think everything is going pretty cool for me. The only stress I have is money and it doesn’t particularly preoccupy my thoughts. I have a good time, I live a decent life.

Anyhow, last week I got up at 6:50, showered and ran off to catch a tram. I felt a little funky, cuz I had a few beers the night before, but nothing too unusual. As I got on the tram, all of a sudden this wave of nausea hit me. I crounched down (there were no free seats) and I waited to the next stop. At the next stop, some folk got off, and I found myself a seat. One stop later, I thought I was going to puke. My head was spinning, reality was fading in and out, was I going to faint? I dunno. I decided to get off at the next stop, there being a McDonald’s there, and a toilet I could use. Next thing I know, there’s people standing over me saying “Segithetek?” (“Can I help you” in Hungarian.) I had fainted. No recollection of getting up from my seat. I was outside the doors of the tram somehow. Some man helped me. I went to my former place of work, chilled out for a bit, and cancelled my plans for the day.

OK. So an hour later I took the tram back home. I was a bit worried that I might feel queasy being on the tram again, but I was relatively okay. I get home and I rest. The next day, I use the tram and the metro several times without incident. However, at night, I use the tram again, and I have this wave of uneasiness rush over me. I don’t really feel like I’m going to faint, but I do feel a bit out of it. Somehow, I’m no longer connected to reality. I feel like I’m in a dream state. I am conscious of what is going on, but I feel oddly disconnected to it. I get off the tram, walk a bit, then decide to call my girlfriend to meet me.

She meets me 15 minutes later, and I still feel like I’m half-real. I continue my plans, since I don’t want to establish a pattern of avoidence, but this is really starting to take a psychological toll on me. The next couple days, every time I go out it is a struggle NOT to get into pattern. I go to the market or to meet a friend, and when I’m alone, there’s waves of “warmth” and discomfort passing through my body. Every so often there’s a release and I feel normal again, but it’s a conscious struggle to keep my body from going into panic mode.

What the fuck is up with me? I’m seeing a doctor on Friday to get a full physical, and I am a bit ill this week. However, when the symptoms started, I didn’t have any sort of illness that I could notice. This is really bugging the crap out of me. I’m starting to feel agorophobic, and this is very very much against my personality. I don’t understand how this started or why I’m feeling so anxious all of a sudden. I’m not looking for answers here – that’s what the doctor’s for – but I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar?

Thanks.

2

I have pretty mild panic attacks sometimes, and like you I don’t consider myself a panicky person at all. Mine, which I find only marginally bothersome, usually involve a nauseating sense of deja vu, and the overwhelming feeling that something horrible is about to happen. And always I get the feeling that I’m struggling to remember something, that if I could just retrieve some specific memory everything would make sense. They usually only last a minute or two–but I really recognize that “disconnect” sensation that you’re describing. It can be very disconcerting, and make you look like a bit of a spaz when people try to talk to you. I usually just ride them out, and within a few minutes it’s like I can barely remember what had me so worked up. They aren’t frequent or intense enough to interfere with my daily activities, but if yours are I can’t blame you for being a bit alarmed.
Try not to panic (ha!), and remember that if it’s come upon you all of a sudden like this it’s most likely correctable. Has anything happened in your life recently to have you off-guard emotionally? With the fainting and the nausea, is it possible that you’ve just caught a bug? I think going to the Doc is your best bet, for both treatment, and reassurance that you’re not a nut.
Good luck, hope it all works out for you.

bella

3

Thanks.

I don’t think I’m a nut. My guess is one of two things. The most likely is that when I fainted the first time, it was a bug or something. (I’m 27 and this was the first time I’ve fainted in public. I once fainted in the bathroom when I was 13 and ill with the flu.) So, now I’m somehow associating the tram with fainting and just generally being out in public with the possibility of fainting and yadda yadda yadda. You get the point. I’m trying my hardest not to make my brain associate trams or being out in public with fainting, but it’s a difficult struggle. Crap, when I was out walking by myself today I had to fight away pangs of anxiety. Like I said, it’s waves of discomforting “warmth” that I have to avoid thinking about, lest my brain get into this panic cycle. Arghh…

Well, we’ll see what the doctor says about it. In the meantime, as bad as I know it is, it seems having a beer or two takes the edge off a bit. Otherwise, I’ve cut out the smokes and caffeine for the time being. Then again, maybe going cold turkey on the nicotine only will make me more jittery…

4

I know this is hard, but when you’re out and you feel the waves coming (I know exactly what you mean, mine is sort of a flush or chills running down my body and in my chest), instead of resisting and avoiding thinking about it, which only makes it worse, go ahead and think about it, ponder what your body’s doing, remind yourself that each time this has happened (except the first time when you fainted), everything has been just fine, the feeling will go away, think in minute detail about every experience your body is having. I read this in a book somewhere, I think it was called Anxiety & Panic Attacks, that trying to avoid thinking about it or thinking, oh no, I can’t have this happening again, am I crazy, etc. etc., really makes it worse.

I also know what you mean about not being that kind of person or having anything happen in your life lately to cause such a reaction. I was just about the happiest person around, with a great life. I think mine were as a result of a year of repressing emotions over something bad that had happened. Nothing really happened that I know of to trigger it, it just started happening. I was sure I was having heart problems (this is very common).

What helped me a great deal in the long-term was 1) cognitive behavioral therapy, 2) meditation, 3) quitting smoking (smoking can actually cause panic attacks) ok, cutting down a lot, I’m still trying on the quitting part (no cigs yet today, just paid $300 for tooth whitener to keep me honest), and 4) exerercise and yoga. Do not let your doctor just prescribe you benzodiazepenes (Xanax, Lorazepam, Klonopin). They work great at first but then you get used to them and don’t address whatever is causing the attacks in the first place, they are habit-forming, and you can have panic-attack-like symptoms when you’re “coming down” off the benzos, so you take more, etc., then you’re stuck using this crutch.

Of course, if your doctor finds an organic cause for your “attacks,” all this will be useless to you, but maybe it will help someone else.

Good luck!

5

I suffered with a panic disorder for quite a while. I think you might be dead on the nail when you say you think you might now be associating the tram with fainting, and the fear of that happening again leads to a general sense of anxiety and uncomfortableness.

I know how bizarre and frightening it can be to get that anxiety and to feel like you’re not really connected with reality. Do hang in there, and try a few breathing excerises if it gets particularly bad. Fighting against it can sometimes make it more of a battle - just concentrate on breathing slowly, focusing on something you find calming. In, then out. In, then out. You know that the anxiety will pass, you just have to let it go in its own time.

When I’m feeling a bit at odds with reality (it sometimes feels like my head is full of cotton wool, or that everything else is somehow behind some invisible layer), it occasionally helps to get in physical touch with my surroundings. To touch the chair I’m sitting on, to read a nearby advert, whatever. Just getting my mind off how fast my heart seems to be beating helps - it breaks that panic cycle.

If you have to go on the tram, how about taking a book with you, one you know you like. Then you can read while you’re travelling and you’re not concentrating so much on where you are and how you’re feeling.

A lot of people who are otherwise quite laid back go through seemingly random patches of anxiety and your doctor will be familiar with it. Do mention how you’ve been feeling to him/her when you go for a check-up and they can advise you what they thinks is best.

I would advise very strongly against having a beer or two to take the edge off. It does make it easier there and then but I find that it has a marked increase on my anxiety levels the next day. In fact, the only time I really suffer anxiety anymore is after I’ve had a few beers the night before. I call it hangover anxiety.

Best wishes.

6

Hi, Pulykamell ,

I’m so sorry that you have been feeling bad lately. Please let us know what the results of your physical examination are.

I experienced my first panic attack last August, and it has really helped me to read the stories of others who have gone through this “craziness”. Yes, I have questioned my sanity, too.

I have always been a high strung person, but I have NEVER felt the way I did that night last summer. I had heard about panic attacks, but the term meant nothing to me. It was a very hot, airless, humid night, and suddenly I felt that I could not breathe. I told my husband what I was feeling, and he tried to reassure me, but I had to just run out onto the porch and take big gulps of air, and drink several glasses of ice water. The panic was intense, and I was sincerely frightened that I was dying. (I’m only 37!) Anyway, it took a few hours for this panic to subside, helped along by watching TV, reading, going online and talking to a friend, etc. The next day I felt so silly, because obviously there was nothing really wrong with me.

A couple of weeks later the NYC attacks occured, which was traumatizing for me, being a native New Yorker with family in the area, although I didn’t live in NYC at the time. As I was laying in bed that night, I started imagining the excruciating deaths that all of those poor victims had gone through and were, indeed, going through at that very moment. I personally felt choked by smoke, ash, plaster; I felt pinned down by rubble, and beams, and Lord knows what. I immediately spiraled down into the panic again, and was in bad shape for a solid week. I couldn’t watch TV or even talk about what was happening in NYC without going into a severe panic. It was the worst I have ever felt in my life.

I am telling you about my experiences, because I think that you are making yourself relive the panic you felt every time you contemplate riding the tram again. The mind is a mysterious and powerful thing.

The other Dopers who have responded all gave excellent advice. I feel comforted to know that there are so many people who have lived through these panic disorders. That feeling of disconnection is one that I can really relate to. My episodes are getting fewer and farther between. I attribute the initial onset of the anxiety to the fact that I had had a stressful, depressing couple of years, culminating in my husband losing his job, and our decision to move 1800 miles to our new home here in New Mexico.

I hope that I have helped a little bit, and please check back in with us to let us know how you are doing.

Love,
Spooks

7

Disconnected. Able to sense, but unable to control any of the things happening around me.

That’s how I felt every day for about a month some 12 years ago. Every waking moment on the verge of a total freak-out. Shortness of breath, I didn’t eat and couldn’t focus my thoughts for more than a minute. Beer was about the only thing that helped calm me down.

I was going through a lot of stress at the time and simply didn’t realize it was a singular source of stress that was doing it to me. After all, I had been dealing “just fine” with that stressor for two years already.

You mention some concerns about money. Mine was a woman.

Maybe your panic behavior isn’t stress related like mine was, but either way, I’d strongly recommend professional assistance if it doesn’t subside in a few days.

8

Well, just an update. Full physical has revealed that I am, in fact, in perfect health, aside from slightly elevated blood pressure (140/90, but that’s how it’s been since I can remember.) So no physical basis. Doctor did prescribe Xanax, and it seems to be working like a charm. I don’t take it religiously. (It was prescribed 3x a day at 25 mg.) But when I have to do a lot of traveling a take one just in case, although I occassionally experiment without it. Haven’t had a full-blown case since three or four days ago, and I generally feel calmer.

Unfortunately, I generally do not respond well to psychotherapy. I’ve tried a couple times in college when I was depressed and found it did absolutely nothing for me. I felt great for about ten minutes after the session and that’s it. My body seems to respond best to a mild dose of drugs, which I was heavily against at the time. I had been on Prozac for three months back in college, and that did the trick. Just three months, I was off and everything was hunky-dory again.

So I gather that everything will turn out okay. Tomorrow’s the big test, when I have to use the tram alone again to go to work. I’ve used the tram alone several times since, but they were shorter journeys and I had been drinking. We’ll see how it goes. Funny thing is, the more I talk about this to my real-life friends, the more I realize that almost everyone I know has had this experience before. One guy couldn’t even use the subway for two years as a result of his anxiety. I guess it’s much more common than I had thought.

Thanks for the support guys!

9

Count me in. I have had several of these bitches over the past few years; almost always with a big hangover.

Because I didn’t know what it was, the first one was so terrifying that I thought I was going to have to be locked up. My panic at the panic attack generally added more panic to the original panic - spiralling into what I thought was total lunacy. I had several more over the course of two weeks from the onset, and gradually realised what was happening. The good news is that once you know what the syptoms are, you can spot the warning signs and ‘surf’ the burst of adrenaline. Not pleasant, but I find I can prevent them from happening within about a minute of realising there’s an onset. Didn’t have any therapy.

I don’t necessarily think panic attacks are linked to having a nervous disposition - I don’t have one.It’s a bit of a misnomer.

10

pulykamell

you might find the following two links of some interest?

http://open-mind.org/SP/Articles/8c2.htm

http://www.plainsense.com/Health/Stress/anxiety.htm

11

pulykamell though it sounds as though you’ve nailed down your problem, I’d feel remiss to a fellow Doper (if a noob as new as I can be considered one) if I didn’t interject this:

I once had what was diagnosed by an ER doc as a possible panic attack. I suffered symptoms that sound awfully similar to your “waves of discomforting warmth” with no real measurable pain, and I too was told there was no detectable physical thing wrong with me. Something similar (though not as severe) would reoccur every once in a blue moon, but I never did take any medication for it, as it never returned as strong as the one that sent me to the ER, until…

I ended up back there again, years later, and underwent a battery of tests, all of which turned up not a thing, again. Until, whilst in the middle of an attack, I was sent for an upper GI series (Here, drink this chalk tasting barium-like stuff, and we’ll x-ray your guts, son.) Turned out I had gallstones, and a diseased gallbladder, both of which needed to go. I was told by the surgeon who finally did the deed that gallbladder symptoms can often be very similar to a whole host of other (unrelated, for the most part) disorders/problems. If this recurs, you might want to ask your physician about the possibility, most esp. if there’s any history of this in your family.

However, IANADoctor, and YMMV. Best of luck with it, in any case.

12

I had my first ones in February. I suppose I should have seen it coming, since the past year my phobia of the wind hightened (due to commuting on a highway with severe crosswinds) but it really surprised me that first windy, snowy day I had one; I didn’t know until I read up on them that many people experience them for the first time when they’re in their 20’s- I’d thought it would have developed much younger. Racing heart, painful, troubled breathing, dizziness… It only happened two or three more times, but each time during storms, so now I wonder if this is going to happen every time I’m out in really bad weather. I sure as hell hope not! If it does, I guess I’ll have to look into treatments. I guess the only good thing about it is that you’re not alone in dealing with the problem.