Haven’t got music from iTunes in quite a while, so my most recent experiences are with Rhapsody.
So many of you share so many of my petty hatreds!
I can’t stand the current way TV reporters and anchors frequently say, “Get this” in the middle of reporting a story: “The man said that the dog looked at him ‘funny’ and then he - get this - BIT him!” I also hate… well, really, there’s very little about TV news I don’t hate nowadays.
And I hate smoke. My neighbors seem to have some kind of agreement that one of them will always be burning something - usually something foul-smelling - no matter what time of year it is. In the winter, of course, they burn what smells like trash wood in their fireplaces round the clock. Just as the weather starts to turn warm, they burn whatever weeds or other trash they’ve raked up. In the summer, they burn firepits and, judging by the smell, pure lighter fluid in their barbecue grills, and in the fall, they rake up the leaves and burn them. Air quality? What’s that? City fire restrictions? Never heard of them!
And I absolutely hate the way some people will refuse to answer any unfamiliar number that comes up on their cell phone, but they’ll call it back! “Who is this? You just called me!” “This is the main switchboard of the school.” “Oh. Well, is something wrong with my child?” “I don’t know. This is the main switchboard of the school. Did they leave a message?” “Oh. I didn’t check my messages.” Seriously? If you don’t want to talk to someone whose number you don’t recognize, why would you call it back? And if you’re interested in who it was, why wouldn’t you check your messages?
I hate the way some idiot men walk with their arms unneccesarily hooked out to their sides as if their huge, imaginary lat muscles are forcing them to walk that way.
These are probably the same guys who sit with their knees splayed outward, (especially in public transit or airplane seats, forcing those on either side to huddle sideways) because of their gigantic junk/packages.
People who choose to do 10 under the speed limit should be run off the road and bludgeoned. The thought of this makes me happy. 
There’s a big helluva-truck that parks on the road near my street. It has, in big letters on the back window, “My lug nuts use more torque then your Civic makes.”
“Then”.
Drives me f-n batty every time I see it.
Slouched down with splayed legs extending across the aisle? I call that the Genital Display Posture. It’s as if they’re saying, “Look! I have genitals! See? They’re right here! Aren’t they cool?”
That isn’t nearly as bad a the guy who juggles his junk while he is talking to you, as if you say, here are my balls I DARE YOU NOT TO NOTICE I AM PLAYING WITH THEM. I had a co-worker at my last job who would causally tug his junk every 10 seconds while he was talking to you, like some weird nervous tick. I hated talking to him, but he always seemed to want to stop by my desk and say hi. The worst part was he worked in the coffee shop downstairs and touched people’s edibles…YUCK:(
Then my Civic makes what? Don’t leave us hanging, dude!
We were in Walmart this weekend, and noticed the Hallmark display had an apostrophe where a plural should have been. You’d think a big company like Hallmark could afford some spellcheckers who actually know the difference between a plural and a possessive, but apparently not. 
In addition to bludgeoning people who drive 10 k under the limit, how about a swift kick to the nuts for people who tailgate me when I’m already driving 10 k over?
I hated the way my ex flatmate used to never ever wash up even a teaspoon more than he used. I really shouldn’t complain as he was good flatmate and always washed his own stuff but the sheer pettiness of it really annoyed me. I mean, when you’re there, just rinse the one spoon or cup or whatever.
Just moved out, though. 
Dropping shit!!
People who can’t be arsed to walk more than 10 feet to the entrance of a store, so they park their SUV in the middle of the lane and sit there with their blinker on for 5 minutes, blocking everyone else, while they wait for the person currently occupying their target parking space to load their 15 bags of stuff and their twin toddlers. This is after they have driven in slow circles for 5 minutes already. In the time you wasted trying to get this space, you could have parked a little bit farther away and been in the store already! And so could the rest of us!
Edit: When I am the person in the target space, I enjoy loading the car, pretending I forgot something, and then going back into the store. Yes, I’m a petty jerk.
Oh, you reminded me of another one - people idling their cars this fall. It’s warm outside, not hot, not cold - why the fuck are they idling? Even when it is summer and hot out, idling is still a bad idea. Turn your car off (after you park in the parking lot properly - I don’t care if you are “just running in”), then turn it back on again when you’re done your shopping.
This is a real problem with shared taxis, I once asked the driver if he was going to tell the guy to close his splayed legs and there was no answer so I got out and let someone else sit next to that asshole with the gigantic balls that need to breath apparently.
My brother in law who is a pastor does the most asshole-ish, obnoxious, fuck headed thing and it not only makes me embarrassed to be in his car when he does it but I would totally endorse him being violently attacked for it.
He will put his car in park in middle of a street and leave it idling with passengers inside while he runs into a business, leaving dozens of people piled up behind his car honking their horns and screaming abuse. He does this on busy narrow two lane roads(each lane going opposite ways) where just passing him by in the opposite lane is impossible due to constant traffic.
He did it when my wife was in the car and ran into a bank to use the ATM, people were cursing and his son was making faces at them out the window. He did it when I was in the car to run into a pharmacy, I couldn’t believe a person could be such an asshole!
A running joke between me and my husband is that people are just driving up to stuff and getting out of their cars without any regard to trying to park. I guess it’s less of a joke than we thought! And yes, your brother-in-law is a massive asshole.
People who scream via enlarged and bolded text, especially if it makes no sense.
Facebook emotionally charged rants directed at an unknown person, posted to your own facebook account. Bonus points if it addresses the unknown person as “you bitch”. I always want to post who the hell are you talking to? Apparently the proper response is to offer emotional support to the poster.
What didn’t make sense?
I love the term “Vaguebooking” to describe behavior like this. Just perfect. And yes, apparently it’s considered bad form to to anything other than sympathize or get all concerned and press for more details. I completely ignore posts like this.