I hang out every weekend with usually the same ole friends, but the girls that hang out with us vary from time to time. The thing is no matter how good looking or ugly (ok maybe not too ugly) I find something attractive in them and I could see if some weird “stars aligning” situation comes up, I would go out with them. However, in most cases, I’m either attracted to someone else, I don’t try, they don’t like me, etc…In my case, it’s usually because they aren’t my type (even though I find them attractive in some way) or I think they think I’m not their type so I don’t even bother trying.
What I’m curious about is whether or not females (or other males or anyone else in general, so this question can be generalized for others on this board) feel the same way. I always wonder if some of the girls find me attractive in any way, or just flat out are not interested. Or am I just a horndog who tries to find anyone attractive just for the sake of maybe getting some? Do any of you girls find a guy attractive (physically, mentally, etc…) but don’t act on it for whatever other reasons (physical, mental, not your type)?
I have always been able to find the beauty in people, physically and mentally. I come from a family of artists, and I was taught to analyze faces and draw them accordingly by my mother. So while some girls my age (19) may think, “Ugh! That guy is so ugly!” I think, “Well, not quite…he has such beautiful, wide-set eyes, fine Roman nose and chiseled jaw, full, proportionate lips…”. All of my boyfriends have been considered (by others my age) to be very lacking in the looks department, and I’ll admit they weren’t exactly Brad Pitt types, but I found the beauty in them because I was looking, and because I had learned to appreciate it.
The reason I don’t date everyone I find attractive is because I’m sort of picky when it comes to a guy’s personality, and because I am taken. Girls really do consider personality more, and the ones that value looks or money over this I find to be the ones that possess traits generally least attractive as a significant other.
Another one here able to see the beauty of others.
All too often people only find the bad/ugly parts of others. It is good to see others who are able to see the goodness of others, beyond physical beauty.
As for acting up the feeling evoked by the discovery of this beauty. It is all up to you. If you let your own qualities be known/seen, others are bound to notice. If you see qualities that draw you in. Act on them. Be friendly and explore the possibilities. Never know what you may find
I’d say it’s moderately common. I’ve thought about going out with all of my friends (of all genders and orientations), and almost always been able to find some things that I found attractive about them physically. (One notable exception, but that friendship was a mistake from the beginning, as well.)
For a lot of people, I suspect the whole process goes on subconsciously, and fairly quickly. I actually deliberately think about it, even if the conclusion is, “I’d kill them before a week was out.”
