I Found a Banana Peel on the Sidewalk

While waiting for the bus, I saw a banana peel laying on the sidewalk. It was all brown and disgusting, but it was unmistakably a banana peel.

“Ahah!” thought I, “Here is my Mythbusters Moment. Here I answer a question that has plagued humanity since the earliest days of traveling vaudeville. Is it true that stepping on a banana peel will make you slip?”

I walked up and dangled my foot over the rotting fruit skin. It was surprisingly difficult to force myself to step on it. Was it revulsion, or was it fear of the unknown that made me hesitate? Was it my self preservation instinct? The ennui of existentialism?

Whatever it was, I pushed past the doubts in my mind,
and stepped down. Immediately, my foot slid sideways. I could feel the shriveled skin and whithered banana threads grinding between the cement and the bottom of my shoe. I lifted my foot quickly, lest I be swept away into peril.

But I had my answer! The cliche was still a cliche, but it was the truth all the same. Banana peels can make you slip!

I retreated in triumph for my bus was approaching. There was a trash can nearby, but I did not toss the squashed banana peel into it, for I was reeling in excitement at my discovery.

Besides, it was really, really icky.

I’ve dangerously walked under ladders many times. And I have stepped in a bucket of paint on the floor. I never pondered or even gave it much thought. I was kinda pissed about the bucket of paint, though.

I thought that only happened in Loony Tunes cartoons. Wait, are you telling us that your life is just like … oh, never mind! :wink:

I pick up rakes by stepping on the tines. Works as advertised.

Did you ever have an anvil fall on your head? That really smarts.

Or, put your brakes on right at the edge of the cliff only to have it break off and you go down anyway?

I did once pull out a stinger of fish I caught only to find heads and skeletons. A turtle must have eaten them.

Very cartoony.

You don’t start to fall until you realize you’re in mid-air. It’s a cartoon quantum-superposition kind of thing. It’s the observation that determines the reality. (I am a recognized expert on cartoon quantum-superposition as it applies to cartoon coyotes.)

Occasionally when they see the cliff break off they move forward look at the broken cliff side smugly and zoom to the ground just in time for the cliff to flatten them on the canyon floor.

I think my children step on every single sidewalk crack they encounter.

You should still be able to stop your plummet.

Air brakes.

Where was your tiny umbrella?

Or maybe that ACME brand parachute. I can float down til it catches on a branch. My door flies open and I fall down to the canyon floor only to stand up and the car lands on my head.

And then, running for help, you run smack-dab into the wall of a cliff, because there’s a tunnel painted on it!

(The Road Runner zips right into the tunnel.)

This is all fun and good, but I suddenly find myself wondering if roadrunner is particularly tasty. Has Unca Cecil addressed the topic? Never mind that human taste buds will respond differently than canine taste buds. Wile E is quite anthropomorphized enough that the difference should be negligible.

I’m fairly certain R.R. is slim pickins for a meal.
They’re all beep-beep and feathers.

Not an article, but it was asked here years ago. Not much of a conclusion, though.

I tried to find the referenced image, as I remember what it looked like, but I couldn’t.

Or a piano.

Cripes, I actually posted in that thread! I hate when that happens.

All well and good, but can they get you stoned?