Throw the note away and forget you ever saw it. It’s not important in the course of life. I would have to agree that it’s got something to do with the bf/jealousy. If you have a good time around each other, why would she want to even spend any time with you or do anything with you if she didn’t like you?
Drop it. It has nothing to do with you.
Something like this happened to me recently. The person who it was about read it & took it out of context & brings the blasted thing up everytime I write her email.
It may be that her boyfriend was jealous of the time she was spending with you guys, so she wrote that note to him to make him feel a little more secure about their relationship. If this is a possibility, then I would recommend doing nothing further and just ‘take it with a grain of salt’ so to speak. However, as others have said, it depends on the context it was written in. If it appears she really doesn’t like you, then there is not much worse than a two-faced ‘friend’, in which case I would have it out with her a.s.a.p. - why delay the inevitable?
good luck.
Wow…this has potential to become a Three’s Company episode.
My advice, just forget about it. It’s not worth the energy or the effort of getting angry. As has been said before, as long as she’s paying the bills and y’all are reasonably getting along who gives a rat’s ass what she thinks in her heart of hearts. she’s just a roommate. And like some others have pointed out, the note sounds like she’s responding adamantly to some accusation her boyfriend made about her…that she spends too much time with you guys or that she’s starting to act like you guys. It doesn’t sound like a contex-less statement that one would make. Why would she diss you for no reason? Obviously she must be responding to something.
So forget about it. I honestly think her note is just a written over-reaction, but even if it isn’t, is it really worth your trouble to get pissed off?
My true story.
Back in 1981 I had a roommate who was a good friend. We hung out together, spent time with each other just as it sounds like you do with this roommate.
She also got on my nerves really, really badly sometimes. I have a journal entry from that year which reads in part “I can’t stand [roommate], she is such an EFFING BITCH!” and goes on to detail a number of reasons why I hated this girl’s guts.
Fortunately, as far as I know she never read my journal. If she had, I’m not sure that we would still be good friends 20 years later.
People get upset with each other, and write stuff like the stuff I wrote in my journal, and your roommate wrote to her boyfriend ALL THE TIME. Sometimes it means that the relationship is doomed, and sometimes it’s just a way of letting off steam.
I don’t see a lot of benefit in confronting her. If she doesn’t want to spend time with you, you’ll be able to figure that out fairly easily. And if it was just a moment of frustration while she attempts to work out her own self-esteem issues, or had more to do with her relationship with her boyfriend than her feelings about you, then you’ll have lost nothing by maintaining your silence.
Forget it.
A lot of things are said (or written) in the mood of the moment that should not be taken seriously.
“There is only one thing worse than being talked about and that is not being talked about.” --Oscar Wilde
I totally agree with wring. You found it. It didn’t belong to you. You read it IN ITS ENTIRETY, and now you’re mad at her?
You don’t go reading personal letters that aren’t yours. They’re none of your business, even if you are the subject. She is entitled to whatever opinion she wrote at the time (who knows what her state of mind was. Maybe she was stressed, upset, drunk).
You asked (in the thread title) “What should I do?” If it were me, I would:
1- End/cool down your friendship with this girl. If your other friends decide to do the same (for their own reasons), fine. Do not mention the letter.
2- Don’t ever read things that don’t belong to you again. It’s wrong. (even if it looks like garbage)
Zette
I would just throw the note away.
I don’t have any idea what her state of mind was when she wrote it. Many people, particularly in times of stress write “two-martini” letters in which they say things that they later regret. I would place more value on her actions since then, than in a hand-written note that was apparently not meant for you to read anyway.
Since you would like to know her real opinion of you, I suggest that you and Ethel disguise yourselves as (male) plumbers and , on the pretext of repairing the sink, start a conversation with her. Meanwhile Ricky and Fred, getting wind of your plan, will arrange for - oh sorry, wrong sit-com.
just ignore me, I’m tired and silly