Bitch, n. - - my roommate

The BBQ Pit
1

Forgive the lack of caps, this is c&p from my journal:

main entry: bitch
pronunciation: 'bich
function: noun
etymology: middle english bicche, from old english bicce
date: before 12th century
1 : the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
**2 a : **a lewd or immoral woman **b : **a malicious, spiteful, or domineering woman – sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
**3 : **something that is highly objectionable or unpleasant
**4 : **a complaint
5 : my roommate, kristy
i’m getting tired of this. ever since she got here she’s been acting childish and bitchy. first thing she did was turn off my alarum clock one morning when she got up before i did – the sound annoyed her.

she complained about everything i did or didn’t do. my laundry was at the foot of my bed. my hair was on the carpet. i didn’t wash my dishes right away, and then i didn’t clean out the sink with anti-septic cleaner afterwards.

i tried to be nice. i tried to be accommodating. i tried to be cleaner.

she didn’t like that i sleep during the day. well, i can’t change that, but i told her that i was a heavy sleeper (a little white lie) and that she needn’t tip-toe about when i’m asleep. i never complained when she woke me up during the day, because i had told her not to worry about it. so what does she do? she calls her friends (while i am asleep) and loudly complains about how i shouldn’t sleep during the day.

i tried to be nice. i tried to be accommodating. but how was i going to stop sleeping during the day, when i can’t sleep at night?

i ordered a pizza, and it was too big for me to eat, so i put it in the fridge and left her a note. if she wanted any pizza, it was fine by me, i said. not only did she throw my pizza away, she put the plate on my nightstand for me to wash.

i think that’s when i got sick of nice and started ignoring her.

last night was the last straw. for once, i had managed to get to sleep by about 11:30 pm (a miracle for me). she came in at 12-12:30, turned on all the lights, and went about unpacking things. i told her to turn off the lights, i was asleep.

now, at this point, i feel i should interject that i do come in around 3 am most nights. i have trouble sleeping, and i hang out in the computer lab until i force myself to go to bed. when i come in, i either turn on the bathroom light and leave the door slightly open, or i turn on my small bedside light (which i adjust to make sure that it is not shining on her), so that i can change, eat, and maybe read a bit. i try not to make noise, but i’m sure i make a little bit. i am not trying to make myself seem perfectly considerate, but she had complained once before about my waking her up, and my last roommate and i had discussed it, so i do make a conscious effort to not disturb her.

back to the story. when i told her to please turn off the lights, she pretty much told me that she would turn it off when she was done, and that i always wake her up when i come in, and how did i like it? she then picked up the phone and called one of her friends to talk loudly about now i would see what it was like, and what a bitch i am for sleeping during the day and coming home at 3 am.

this went on for maybe 10 minutes, maybe more. i was totally unable to sleep with the lights on and hearing her loud voice, so when she got off the phone, i got dressed, stashed my phone in my purse (if she wants to bitch about me, she can use her own phone – she’s got one!) and left.

i was positively seething when i got to the computer lab. i practically yelled the entire ordeal at one of the labbies, and then complained to my online friends all night. around 3 am i decided that i needed sleep, so i went home.

there i found all of my refrigerated groceries (my milk and orange juice and some little eggrolls) on my bed. i put everything back in the fridge, and wrote her a little note saying that i didn’t want my milk to spoil over a hissy fit. this morning, everything was back out, this time on the floor. she hasn’t actually said this yet, but i don’t think she wants me using her refigerator anymore. :smile: i asked my suitemate, keisha, to let me put my things in her fridge for a little while, until i fix this.

kristy also wrote me a darling little letter, all decorated with hearts and dripping with venom. in it she said that this whole thing was about my “attitude problem” (wtf? my attitude?!?), and that i was acting “childish.” i have to admit, taking my phone away was a bit childish. but after taking all of her shit and still trying to be nice, it felt pretty damn good.

so today i had a little talk with my house manager, pam. first i asked her if i could get another fridge in my room, and she said that was fine. then i filled her in on the problems we’ve been having, and pam said she wished i’d come to her sooner. this late in the term, she said, there’s really not much to be done.

there is one thing, of course. if my milk went bad when she had it sitting out, she’s going to replace it. i had barely used it.

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

2

something i don’t understand is that i still feel the need to be nice. last night when i came home, i should have thrown on all the lights and banged about, but i didn’t. i actually tried extra hard not to disturb her. and this afternoon when i came home and she was napping (yes, she was sleeping during the day! isn’t that a sin?), i tried to be considerate. some girls came by to see the room (they’ve got this room next term) and i told them they could look around, but please don’t wake my roommate. and when i called my mom, i spoke in a hushed tone so as not to waker her.

geez, now i feel stupid. i’m letting her win, aren’t i? she’s getting her way! she’s getting to be a total bitch and all i do is try harder not to annoy her.

sigh, all i want is for this term to end so that i can go back to houston.

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

3

Geez. You have a roommate named “Kristy” who leaves you notes with little hearts on them? Don’t tell me–she puts a little circle over her “i”? I feel your pain, babe, I really do.

If she should somehow have an “accident” and end up stuffed into her little refrigerator and dumped down by the river, there isn’t a jury in the world that would convict you.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

4

Simulposts, crossing in transit.

Listen carefully. Read my lips.

You are the grownup here. She behaves this way out of deep immaturity. You still feel impelled to be nice to her, even though she is immature. That is an adult response. Good for you! You are a normal, sane, functioning adult human being. She, evidently, is not. It’s her loss.

You are not “letting her win”. You are ignoring her juvenile response, the same way that a group of chimps will simply ignore inappropriate juvenile responses. You watch the Discover Channel, or PBS? In chimps and gorillas, bad behavior is simply ignored.

Don’t get into a pissing contest with this one, babe. You can’t win. She knows how to push the passive/aggressive button to the max, and in a head to head confrontation, especially with AUTHORITY, she will win and you will lose. You will end up sounding like a whiny teenager. She will say, in a martyred voice, “She’s so CHILDISH…”

Hey, I just figured out where I’ve seen this all before. Addams Family Values, where Wednesday is at camp, and Amanda, the WASP snot? Absolutely. Go rent that, then practice your Wednesday Addams look.

Look up “passive/aggressive” somewhere. I dunno where, psych textbook? Got any friends who are psych majors?

There’s nothing you will be able to do to “get back” at her–life doesn’t work that way. Sorry. But trust me, sooner or later it will catch up to her. She may never have an exact moment where she pauses and wishes she’d been nicer to you (unless you should both end up in a Scream sequel :smiley: what a tempting thought), but she will never ever be granted a truly happy existence. Assholes never are.

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

5

Thank you. Makes me feel like less of an idiot for trying to be nice.

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

6

Not sure why I’m posting this, other than that your story made me think of it:

The ugliest roommate blow-up I ever heard of happened to a friend of mine, Kevin, and his roommate, Jason. Jason was an art major, seemed OK, had a lot of expensive cameras and associated art equipment.

It all began when Kevin had a friend, Chris, over one afternoon. In the dorm rooms down here, there’s one chair on each side of the room. Chris borrowed the chair from Jason’s side of the room so that he and Kevin could both sit in front of Kevin’s computer. They both stepped out for a while. When Kevin came back, there was a note on his chair from Jason telling Kevin not to borrow his things.

From there, things escalated. Jason started leaving little post-it notes on everything in the room. “Don’t touch this.” “Don’t sit here.” “Don’t drink this.” And the cases with his camera equipment were just covered with little “don’t mess with this” notes. Jason’s side of the room was just peppered with little notes warning people not to touch his stuff.

I don’t remember exactly what the final catalyst was; I think Jason threw away something in Kevin’s fridge in order to make room for his own stuff. Kevin went out to the lobby and fumed for a little while, then came back to the room.

I’m damn proud of what he did next: he grabbed the carpet (which he’d paid for) and yanked it off the floor, spilling all of Jason’s camera equipment on the bare tile. He then took out his pocketknife and raggedly cut the carpet in half, yelling all the while about what it means to ‘share’, and, if he wanted everything to be separate, everything would be separate.

Kevin threw the half of the carpet from Jason’s side away and moved his fridge to his own side of the room. I don’t think they even spoke for the last week or so that Jason was in that room before he could get moved out.

7

Cessandra,

Roommate Psychology 101

I know you want to rip her face off and stomp on it. I’d feel the same way.

Ya wanna really have an effect on her? This will be really, really hard to do well, but can be so very effective in such situations.

You gotta work up to this: First, realize that the misery we spew out to others only reflects the misery we feel inside. When she acts childish, it’s because inside, she is a child. Imagine what it must feel like to be stuck in childhood while those around you are maturing.

Like a child, she is acting out. She wants attention—at home, it’s your attention she wants. She feels alone and invisible unless she is bitching and getting attention—even glares and growls are forms of attention. Better to be snarled at than ignored entirely.

So keeping that in mind…thinking of all the slime and needles she feels inside herself … next time she bitches your way … think of the black misery she is spewing and the fact that it’s ten times as poisonous inside her guts … and muster up the most sincerely amazed, sympathetic facial expression you can and gaze at her for a moment. Then say softly, “It must be so very painful for you.”

Then don’t respond to any questions beyond that. Just keep a thoughtful look on your face. As though you’ve only just realized that she is legally demented and has no idea of her own pitiful state.

She will feel naked. It should either scare the hell outta her or make her burst into tears (publicly or privately).

Or, of course, you could always just pour Jello into her underwear drawer.

8

This is going to sound real strange, coming from me of all people.

I’ve had several room mates, but not in the close quarters you have. I rented them rooms in my home. I did as you have done, was real nice and mature about it all complete to having grown up talks with them, explaining the rules of the house AGAIN and so on. (I, after all, was the land lord – but, after 30 days of them living there, getting them out short of threatening to kill them, would require an eviction proceeding.) (If I threatened to do them bodily injury, they could get a restraining order on me and forbid me to have access to MY OWN HOME until I could evict them.)

One roomer pissed me off so badly that when he was at work, I picked the lock on his room, went inside with my little tool kit and reset the electronics in his police scanner, telephone, stereo CD player and stereo radio. They didn’t work after that and he had to spend money to get them fixed. He changed the lock. I removed MY window unit airconditioner - from the outside - from his room. He bitched. I told him to leave. He refused. I pointed to my shotgun on the wall and told him accidents might happen. He left.

The next one kept stealing my food, booze, medication and not paying the rent. I talked to him several times. He agreed to everything. Straightened up for about a week. I also sleep mainly during the day, and he started making too much noise. Another chat. I was polite. He lasted two months. He drove his car into my ditch and I had to help him get it out. His room started to smell, he was such a pig. I told him to clean it up. He didn’t. I told him to leave. He said no, that I’d have to evict him. If I touched him, he’d call the cops. I said fine. When he went to work, I laced his booze with a little concoction from a med student friend of mine. He was allergic to seafood. I bought bait shrimp and fingered them, then wiped the moisture on the rims of his cups and glasses and let them dry. That night, when he boozed it up, he spent most of the evening vomiting in the bathroom. I was pleased. The next day, after he drank coffee, his lips started to swell and he had to take Benidryl. He asked me what I had done and I just grinned at him. He moved.

I suggest that if she keeps you awake, you do the same to her. Whatever she does to you, do to her. If your room lights are in the roof, pull the bulbs. Talk on the phone to anyone in her presence about what a selfish shit she is. Complain frequently to your house mother. I would say make a polite observation to her that she might have trouble talking with her teeth knocked out, but you don’t impress me as the type.

Some people you just cannot be nice to. Want some suggestions as to what is nifty as to put in her bed? In her food? When maturity fails, be immature. NEVER expect maturity to always go along with intelligence. Some of the most stupid and selfish people I have met have IQs far above my own (130) and not too many friends.

CAREFUL! We don’t want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

9

It really is about attitude, not behavior, isn’t it? I once had a tobacco-chewing dorm-mate who left plastic beer cups filled with spit sitting around. When one eventually spiled on my bed it didn’t hurt our friendship one bit, because ours was a brotherly bond.
Another roomate I had, on the other hand, would preach to us his housemates to practice “good earthmanship” during his hippie phase, then he later converted to Fundamentalist Christiantiy and preached to us in that stead. One night he hit a skunk with his car AND THEN BROUGHT IT HOME TO SALT DOWN THE STINKING PELT IN THE BASEMENT! He loaded last straw when he brought home his girlfriend’s neutered male cat, despite the agony into which this put another, alergic roomate. Forced to post an adoption notice by us, he blatantly told a prospective adoptee over the phone that the cat was not neutered and would be inclined to spray her furinture, while in the background I was holding the cat upside down and yelling “look: no balls here!” He abruptly hung up and started to preach, but not for long, for I went to my room and slammed the door. He kicked in my door to preach some more, but for naught, for I was soon beating a merry tatoo with his skull against the wainscotting. I number that night along with my wedding night as one of the happiest of my life.

Your deep sea diving suit is ready, me brave lad.

10

I keep thinking of more examples of her bitchiness, and adding them to my journal. I really should have gone to Pam (House Manager) all of these times to get them officially documented.

Cessandra

I would’ve gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

11

Get some of her hair, fingernail clippings, a photo, etc. Make a “voodoo doll”, and make sure she knows it’s “her”. Some candles and a “voodoo handbook” will add to the effect. Don’t threaten her or anything. Don’t even talk about it. Just smile evilly and glare at her. If she suddenly gets a cramp, stubs her toe, gets a headache, etc., smile at her evilly and knowingly. Maybe she’ll get creeped out enough to move. Maybe she’ll be more subdued. If you’re a good enough actress it should be fun, at least, to watch her reaction.

I wouldn’t advise physical violence, and I’d especially advise not putting things in her food (particularly if she’s allergic). Playing with her mind is better, and it leaves no marks.

Or do what Portwest suggests. That’s probably the best advice posted so far. But I think the voodoo idea might be fun. :smiley:

“I must leave this planet, if only for an hour.” – Antoine de St. Exupéry

Are you a turtle?

12

Well, the one room mate that I had was a good friend of mine. He was going through a divorce so we got an apratment together above a church. He hooked up with a gal who was about 5’ tall and around. From the day he met the bi… um, woman, things went down hill. Dried slices of cheese stuck to the table, chocolate finger prints on my computer (keyboard and monitor), half eaten cookies stuffed into the couch, containers of dried out mashed potatoes from KFC, all the dishes getting dirtied in a four hour period. It pissed me off.

Worse yet, whenever I had company, they had to brag about oral sex! It was humiliating and disgusting.

Then they informed me that we were going to get a three bedroom apartment so her kids could live with us. When I informed my ‘friend’ that I was not going to pay half of some swines rent, he moved out on me after I had mailed in the rent check. I got the check back before it cleared and had all of my stuff out before he could get his.

Later, I learned that his ‘girlfriend’ was sleeping with not just one, not just two, but my friend’s entire bowling team.

Moral is, room mates are assholes but eventually, you get to laugh at their stupidity.

13

I am SO grateful I live alone. I’ve lived alone since 1981 and I could never live with anyone again—too spoiled, too set in my ways. If I ever got married (which is NOT going to happen), we’d have to have separate residences.

14

I hope you have sense enough to ignore some of the above, IMHO, very bad advice, sweetie.

“An eye for an eye leaves both of us blind.”

If push does come to shove, in the course of any “official” investigation of some kind, the discovery of voodoo dolls looks very bad for the perpetrator. Looks “not quite sane”, dig? You end up talking to whole roomfuls of “counselors” and “therapists”. I trust he was kidding.

Actually, the second-best thing to do (the best thing, of course, is to ignore her bad behavior as far as possible), is to kill her with kindness.

Incoming!..

**

I don’t care whether you’re a Christian or a Jew or a Hindu or whatever, I’m here to tell you that this WORKS.

Be oh-so-sweet and helpful. Agree with her, wholeheartedly (she’s an expert at faking emotions herself, she’ll smell a fake in a New York minute). When you look at her, visualize a gawky immature chimp, feel sorry for her, and smile a lot (remember Wednesday Addams, how terrified the girls were when she actually SMILED?) Go out of your way to do things for her–make a really big deal out of moving your stuff out of her way, “oh, here, let me get that for you…”

Catch my drift? I guarantee, if you can keep it up consistently for more than 48 hours, by the clock, it will drive her absolutely bonkers. I have been in your shoes; I have tried all of the above other suggestions; I have tried this, and THIS WORKS.

Also, there are no unpleasant side-effects. :smiley:

“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen

15

The killing with kindness bit doesn’t work. They become bigger pain in the asses. Confrontation, however, has it’s merits and often will work. Point out politely that since the two of you have to be together that you’ve got to compromise. She stops annoying you in certain ways and you’ll not go out of your way to bug the shit out of her.

CD players are soooooo fragile! (Got a small screwdriver, the type jewelers use? Hint! Hint!) Cassette tapes or floppies? A $2.00 magnet. (There’s these nifty flexible magnet sheets with adhesive on one side. One cut into the shape of the bottom of a diskette case and applied has a tendency to work wonders on floppies.)

Discussion really is best, revenge if all else fails. Put on your ‘mean’ face for a firm discussion. (I think YOU’LL need to practice in the mirror a bit first.)

CAREFUL! We don’t want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

16

Oh oh oh! I want to complain, too! I know spend 90% of my time away from home beacuse my roomate is such a psychotic bitch. First off, shes just a bad person in general. She does nothing but insult her friends and is downright mean to her boyfriend. At one time she was adamently trying to get a happily engaged man in bed (of course she had a long term boyfriend at the time) and is generally dispicable. But hey, we shouldnt judge people like that, so I’ll live.
It bugs me when it starts to affect me. The first thing she did when she walked in the room was put Blink 182 posrers everywhere and take up three fourths of the closet space. Thats okay though, I understand that she was never told “no” as a child and shouldn’t expect not to get here way now. I dont even complain when she YELLS on the phone, even though talking at a normal level would be just as effective. Some of us just can’t modulate our voices quite as well.
But she orders me around. Ugh! She is worse than my mother. Everytime I walk in here (once every couple of days) she has some new thing for me to do. She is very obsessed with things being spotless clean when she wants it. For example…we all ahve different duties and I happened to be on kitchen duty, which means swabbing off the cabinets and that sort of thing. It has been expressly agreed that everyone is expected to do their own dishes. I have never left a dish in the sink for more than half an hour. When I dont want to wash dishes I dont use them. Anyway, I walk in and she goes “Jennifer, can you do the dishes, my grandparents are coming over in an hour”. And instead of going “NO! Fuck you! Do your OWN dishes for YOUR grandparents” I just do them and leave the house because I am so angry. She also likes to complain loudly for other people’s benifit , as in “Oh my God! Jennifer only took the trash out once last week”…well yeah…the trash was only full once last week. It didnt stink and wasnt overflowing…thers ono point in throwing out empty trash bags. Another thing she does is to go on perky little cleaning sprees and expect everyone to join her. It is so much fun to walk into the house, plop down your backpack, fall into bed and have the bitch of the week run in and screech “Jennifer, I vacuumed my half of the room and you have to vacuum yours right now.” Now I am not a slob, but I dont like to take orders. I will do my part…but not on demand.
Incident: I walk into my house to find a (very very cheap plastic) ontainer on my desk. I open it up and find a mass of white moldy something. I go “I dont think this is mine”, because I rarely pack up my leftovers. She goes “You left it on the counter a month ago”. Yeah! why the hell didnt you tell me a month ago! Or throw the fucking container away…it was only worth three cents. That and whatever it was wasnt even mine! SO I waited until she left and threw it out…but I really had half a mind to keep it on my desk as a decoration for the rest of the year.
Incident: I went on a fabulous trip over sring break that was financedby a relative. I was on the phone talking to him to say how the trip went, but the connection was bad. I tried the other phone (a cordless) and it was still bad so I did my best. Roomate comes in shreiking at her boyfriend. I cant hear my relative, so I say “roomate, can you keep it down, I am on a bad connection”. She sneers at me and goes “It’s because your on a cordless phone” I explain that the bad connection was on his side and I really needed to make this phone call. She once again sneers “It’s because it’s a cordless phone” and leaves the room for about two minutes, only to return shreiking. I had to put a pillow over my head and try to finidh the conversation.
I sympathise with your plight. I am a passive person and always just end up doing what makes her happy…but it sucks. I cant sstand my house and that is not fair. I pay a ton of rent and dont even feel comfortable checking my email here, much less sleeping here. All I can do is wait to move out…

17

Cess, my sympathies are with you. I’ve had my own roommate problems before, although nothing as bad as what you’ve described, fortunately. My roommate in Israel (98-99) gave me the most trouble, probably because we were so very different. I was a junior, a California hippie chick, and she was a freshman JAP from New Jersey who thought that clubbing was the ultimate form of entertainment. Oh yeah, and she would purposely get terribly sunburned so that it would turn into a tan, something that horrified me. Anyway, we had our differences, sometimes angrily, but we were usually able to settle them by discussing how we felt. Our backgrounds were so different that it was really necessary to discuss these things, or we wouldn’t have been able to live with each other at all. We just didn’t understand each other. If it’s not too late, I really suggest having a chat with your roomie. Just go out for coffee and see if you can get along when you aren’t in the little space you share. Hopefully, things can improve.

Speaking of bad roommate experiences, I must share the one my friend Joscelyn had with her roomie Lin. Jos is kinda like me, but less hippieish, and more from the Midwest. She’d rather hang out and chat and go for walk than party. Lin was a lot like my roommate, but more from England. They basically couldn’t stand each other for starters, and NEVER talked. Jos never had any idea of where Lin was. Once, we ran into her in Eilat, eight hours away from Jerusalem (where we lived). Joscelyn had no idea that Lin was going to be there. Towards the end of the year, Joscelyn began to notice that Lin seemed to be eating her food. This really annoyed her, but she didn’t bring it up, because they didn’t speak at all. Then, she discovered that some articles of clothing of hers were missing. So she rummaged through Lin’s stuff. She didn’t find the clothing, but she did find some of her camera batteries. When she confronted Lin about it, Lin told her she did it to get back at Jos for stealing her ring (which, of course, never happened). She had appropriated the clothing, too. The next day, Lin unplugged the phone they shared and put it in her bag. She carried it around for the next week (it was the last week of school) so that Jos couldn’t make any phone calls! Oy vavoy.

18

Oooh, simulpost. Anyway, if you’re interested, I can recommend my old housemates (a lesbian couple and their daughter and doggies, nice family) if you’re looking for a new place. They live in a condo at the base of campus. My room was teeny tiny, but it was only $350 including utilities (non-Bay Areans, $350 is CHEAP for Santa Cruz). I moved out last month, and I’m sure they have a replacement by now, but if you’re gonna be back next year, they were very cool housemates.

Kyla, Oakes '00

19

What’s “not quite sane” about voodoo? It’s as valid a religion as Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, or any other religion you can think of. I don’t believe in it, but plenty of people do.

That aside, I was talking about psychological warfare. You’re not actually doing anything. You’re not making threats. As I said,

The point is, it’s fun to mess with peoples’ minds if they deserve it. When reasoning doesn’t work, make it undesireable to be around you. Pick something that the target can’t use in retaliation. That is, if you suddenly decide to play the stereo very loud on “your side of the room” and you “can’t help it if the music gets to her side”, she can retaliate in kind. If you damage her propoerty, she can damage yours. If you don’t do anything, just quietly practice your new religion without “attacking” her in any way, what’s she going to do? Make her own voodoo doll? I doubt it. If she’s afraid of it, she’s unlikely to try it herself. If the roommate is afraid of you, she’ll probably become very considerate.

I’m not saying you have to believe in it yourself. Just make her think you do. And again: Don’t make threats. Don’t talk to her at all about it. Just take advantage of any misfortune she may have to make her think it’s caused by supernatural means.

Yes, my original post was done rather tongue-in-cheek; but the basic idea is widely used. Make an “enemy” not want to piss you off. My example was meant as a fun way to mess with someone without actually hurting them or their property (which would be illegal).

The “pity” thing posted by Portwest is another, less overt, way of practicing PsyOps against the roommate. If Cess tries that, then she can spread it around when the roomie can hear. “Oh, poor Kristy! She’s so torn up inside! I wish I could help her, but she’s built up such a wall!”

This kind of mind-messing is not compatible with the voodoo kind. Totally different approaches.

Whatever you do, don’t do anyting illegal.

“I must leave this planet, if only for an hour.” – Antoine de St. Exupéry

Are you a turtle?

20

Personally, I think a combination of the two is best. I really like notthemama’s approach. I’ve seen it work. Spoken like a true Heartless Bitch - you be the adult, you will get what you need eventually. Dealing with grown-up children is never fun. Letting yourself fall to her level is even worse - you are lessening yourself if you do that.

Deal with her as if she were an adult. Tell her the truth of what you think she’s doing - completely. Explain to her that she is behaving in a childish manner, and that this is not going to solve her problem, it only makes her look like a twit. Suggest real ways to solve it - compromises, real ones. Do everything in your power to solve this in a rational, reasonable manner. Don’t insult her personally, though feel free to tell her how bad her behavior is. Don’t let yourself get uncontrollably angry - if you have to use email or notes to talk it out, do so - it’s easier to control yourself that way sometimes. Remember, she only wins if you become what she is.

If that fails utterly, either ask her to leave or get out yourself. I’m assuming, since you have a ‘house manager’, you are in either boarding school or college? If so, you could always talk to the house manager about moving you into a friend’s room temporarily. Let her know exactly how bad it is, ask for an ‘unofficial’ situation. Find a friend who wouldn’t mind the move as a temporary fix, and get out of there.

You don’t need to deal with idiots like that - there are enough of them in the world, don’t take it unless you have to.

-Elthia