Well, a month and a half ago, one of my roommate’s (seemingly) cool friend moved in and became my roommate. Well, she has ceased any sort of level of agreeability with me and now i have an added level of stress in my life that i didn’t have before. It all started when i woke up to take a midnight pee and i overhear her speaking quite badly about me. The fact that she had some things to say about me didn’t bother me as much as the enthusiasm and length of me being the subject matter.
It turns out we had a misunderstanding, she mistook me for a retard and i mistook her for a decent person.
I can’t have her leave, she now holds more favorability with the other roomates than i do. I’m not as ‘‘with it’’ as the others because I don’t have the time or money to go out clubbing and barhopping every night. I’ve tried talking this out with her, but she does not like to discuss anything that doesn’t involve what can be found in a Marie Claire magazine.
My only option now is pranks. Adolecent pranks to make her life a living hell. I wouldn’t normally come to this, but having her around makes me feel just like i’m in junior high again. I’ve only got two up my sleeve:
grated parmesan cheese in a few choice locations of her room to ‘impress’ her friends.
a little bit of bleach in her laundry so that her clothes will fade considerably by the time she’s done with the bottle.
Freeze a can of foam shaving cream. Use a can opener to open the bottom, and remove the now frozen plug 'o cream. Place it somewhere in her room or vehicle. You can’t even imagine how much that stuff expands when it begins to unfreeze.
There is also the classic “fish hidden in the car” trick.
Go to your local book store. Browse the magazine area removing at least one subscription card from each magazine. The more bizarre the subject matter, the better. Fill them out with her name on them. Mail them all the same day. Wait 4-6 weeks for the fun. By the time she realizes what is happening, she will be on so many junk mail lists she’ll never be junk mail free.
Get some bricks and a car jack. Jack up the drive end of her car, and place the bricks under her axles. Use just enough bricks to raise the wheels 1/4 inch or so off the ground. Sit back and watch her try to leave.
Leave her a phone message from Mr. Lyon - and use the number of the zoo.
Re-pair all of her socks incorrectly.
Get a styrofoam container from a restaurant - like you get with leftovers - Write “Property of mangomerlot” on an and fill it with gravel or potting soil or something equally weird.
If she has books on shelves, turn them all upside down.
I just had to interrupt after reading this. While this sounds harmless enough, some of these magazines can get get very harassing. Someone pulled this same thing against my brohter in high schoool. We got over 50 magazines, followed by over 50 letters demanding payment. Most responded to my mom’s letters explaining that he didn’t order/want the magazines. Working Woman, however, threatened to take him to court to collect on the subscription costs.
If this is the kind of hassle you hope to inflict, go ahead. But if you were looking for mere annoyance/harmless pranks, choose something else.
“I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.”–Animal House
Check their shampoo. Replace it with Nair. This can lead to fun.
Do they have a dresser? Rearrange all the drawers. Regularly. It’ll drive 'em batty.
Buy a live lobster from your local supermarket. Put it in her bed. Imagine coming home from the club drunk and finding a live lobster in your bred.
Is their laundry readily available? Do they sort everything, then leave? Slip something brand new and red into the pile of whites. Viola! Pink wardrobe!
Cultivate a friendship with the person they hate most in the world. Frequently invite this person over. Our old roommate about died when the two people she hated most showed up for a visit. Hee hee hee!
Does she have a stuffed animal or something similar? Steal it and take it out for a night on the town. Take pictures. Hide the stuffed animal. Periodically send her pictures of the stuffed animal in various places (the zoo, a strip club). Even better, make a web page documenting the thing’s travels. This provided much amusement for my group in college and the phenomenon has gone on since everyone graduated or dropped out. The downside is my friend’s ex-roommate hates us all. But you have to make some sacrifices.
The best way that you can get back at her is to be as nice as you can. All of these pranks may help you to feel better about your situation for a short time, but will just add to the problem in the long run. Do you think that she will just sit and take it? Won’t it cause more problems with you and your other roommates, especially if they already like her better. Remember, kindness that’s undeserved can be as irritating as hell.
The best way that you can get back at her is to be as nice as you can. All of these pranks may help you to feel better about your situation for a short time, but will just add to the problem in the long run. Do you think that she will just sit and take it? Won’t it cause more problems with you and your other roommates, especially if they already like her better. Remember, kindness that’s undeserved can be as irritating as hell.
If you’re really serious, you have to spread rumors about her with the other roommates.
Tell one of them that you overheard her trashing you to someone (truth) and then embellish it with some lies about what you heard her say about them. Tell them that you confronted her and she was all “nuh-uh I didn’t” and called you crazy, and had the nerve to like deny it and stuff,
and tell about how her mom called and started fighting with you accusing you of causing her to have an abortion and so you think she had a messed up childhood cause her mom was talking about how she used to be hooked on Meth and stuff. And how her mom brought up all kinds of stuff about the roommates that she had told her that simply aren’t true but the mom thinks are and blames all of everybody in the house for her daughter’s unhappiness.
some very good ideas. i’m looking for pranks that in particular that will unfold overtime and would be harder to pinpoint. as far as being nice to her is concerned, it isn’t working.Since she deduced my insight into her habits of trash-talking, she has been edgy, scarce, and moody if i’m around. She the type of person to avoid confrontations. Like I’ve said before, the pranks are a last resort for any satisfaction with her. I want to make them good. I’m moving out soon anyways. (the grape kool-aid prank would work quite well for me, notice my location?)
