Well, then. If you’re moving out anyway, that changes things. Hmm …
500 ways to annoy your roomate.
For example:
When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her posessions. Tell him/her that Santa’s elves must have done it.
Dress as similarly as possible like your roommate. Walk closely next to him/her the whole day, remarking “Don’t we look like twins?” to any passersby.
Place porn mags, both soft- and hard-core, around the room. Buy ten or twenty jars of Vaseline. Stack them in a pile in a corner on the floor. Whenever your roommate is expecting company, smear your hands with Vaseline. When greeting them, shake hands vigorously for a minute.
OMG!! I don’t think that mang wants her dead…just wants to make her a lil miserable until they part ways!!..lmfao
Try some of these things…(favorites of my father who thinks that April fools was a holiday created for him)
Vaseline every thing in her room that you know she will touch…i.e. knobs…drawer handles…light switches…If spread right…you will get her for months with that one
When she’s eating…and looks away …drop some tabasco sauce in in her plate
Turn the shower head so that it points out so when she turns on the shower it hits her in the face
If you have one of those sprayers on your kitchen sink…use a black bread tie or rubberband to hold the trigger down and point it just right…always a good one
Rit dye in the shower head…or dish washin liquid is good
Tiny crumbs in her sheets just at the foot of her bed…will drive her nuts all night
Oh and one last one…I hate this one…If she takes her lunch or drinks with a straw…get a paper napkin…and for the samich place the napkin between the meat and the bottom peice of bread…blends with the mayo so its not detetcted…or take a small piece of napkin and twist it up.,slide it in the bottom of the straw…when she sucks on it …it will shoot into the back of her throat
I have alot more…as you can see…I’m always the brunt of my fathers jokes…
Fart Powder!!!
Cracker crumbs in her bedding is a GOOD one.
See, the thing you want is some immediate ones, then some ticking time bomb ones she won’t find for months or years.
Is she a Causehead? Does she have something she passionately believes in? Find the exact opposite…(for example, if she’s into People Against Handgun Violence or whatever, get her an NRA membership) and make a donation in her name. Or just buy her a gift membership. Usually there’s a magazine or newsletter or something, but more importantly, there’s the renewal/donation requests. That come all. The. Freakin’. Time. It’s even better if they’re doing like a fundraising drive and you can get her name on a brick or something.
Or if you don’t want to be evil, just annoying, donate to like the ASPCA in her name. She’ll get fund-raising letters and such for years to come.
Just thought of another one…this one really pisses me off…If you guys take turns doing dishes (as all good roomies should do) on her day…everytime you get a drink …use a different glass…
I had a roommate from hell once and she pissed me off so bad one day…we had words…and she tried to threaten me…so when she got in the shower I ran in the kitchen and turned the cold water off and on …making the cold water disappear for her in the shower…hence scalding hot water…no it wasnt nice…but…hearing her screams did cause me to giggle once or twice
Meat products in the crawlspaces are fun.
Shame you’re moving out, otherwise I would have suggested to move her furniture 1/16" to the left every day.
Now watch a pro at work. I am mentioned by name in a couple of books by George Hayduke, he found some of my versions of revenge to be very delightful. These are some of my favorites for the disgruntled roommate.
If you have access to her undies, get some Elmer’s glue and place a thin layer right at the spot her, um, sweet spot would be located. About 1 inch round will do. If she wears any remotely snug this stiff spot will become very uncomfortable. And she will blame herself for the problem. The same can be done on the inside of a bra too.
You will need a plastic syringe or similar device for the next prank. You will also require a tube of her favorite toothpaste. Empty the tube of toothpaste into a bowl and add about half a teaspoon of yellow food coloring. Mix well. Use the syringe or other device to refill the tube of toothpaste. After a few uses she will begin to notice a yellow tinge to her teeth. And the more she brushes, the worse it will get.
If you have access to cascara oil, it is a very powerful laxative. It is also very bitter thus can be detected in most liquids. A small amount in orange or grapefruit juice will cause gastric distress unlike most folks will ever suffer. It also reacts very quickly leaving your mark very little time to find appropriate facilities.
A little itching powder can be fun. Unroll about 10 feet of TP, lightly dust and roll back up. A bit sprinkled on top of her deoderant. A bit on EXTERNAL feminine hygiene products. Inside her favorite shoes.
Brown crayons are excellent for adding skid marks to underwear.
A drop of superglue will render most zippers useless.
A letter from a local health department with big words “Results of your VD test enclosed” written on the front. Or a bill from an abortion clinic demanding payment for services rendered.
A call to her parents (from someone who’s voice is not recognizable) claiming to be her pimp and you are looking for her because she ripped you off. The sleazier the guy sounds, the better.
And for a finale, I witnessed this prank and the results were priceless. You need parents that are biased towards those of other races. Her parents receive a call from Leroy, Mohammed, or Chu Duk Lee and this person is asking for their daughter’s hand in marriage. This person is madly in love with their daughter and “may” even be carrying his baby as they speak. Of course she hasn’t told her parents because they won’t like him because of his race. The victim in the case I saw was about to get a couple of innocent guys into some serious trouble. Daddy came to rescue his Princess and in doing so saved a couple of other folks.
OMG! :eek: racer72 is eeeeeevil! 
Those are fantastic!
racer those are awesome…my father would be proud if you here his…
I must say…The letter from the VD clinic is classic…I will remember that one;)
Just go to the local post office and pick up a “moving kit” and forward her mail somewhere (I prefer 1060 W. Addison Chicago, Illinois), a free annoying prank and you can’t get caught.
unclviny
Crazy glue a raw egg to her desk, headboard, whatever.
There is virtually no way to get it off without breaking the shell and causing a mess.
Only problem is they send a confirmation letter now (or did 2 years ago when I moved). But if he’s the roomie, there’s a communal box, so he could theoretically intercept it.
I am fond of the small sabotage.
Does she have several pair of favorite shoes? One of each pair vanish, only to show up in odd places. (Cabinet under the bathroom sink, or behind the couch, but not on the same day.)
Get the same brand of makeup that she uses, but in a different color. (As long as the container looks the same.) Switch it every few days, so that it never quite looks right.
Slip newspaper between her bottom sheet and her matress. The crinkle sound is annoying. Do this every 3 or 4 days.
Does she have a car? Vaseline the door handle. Vaseline in the apartment she can wash off. Outside at the car, it’s a bit tougher.
Ok, ok, so maybe windex in the listerine is a little over-the-top.
Try these:
Add coarse sand to liquid facial/hand soap and hand/body lotion.
Mix coconut flakes and chocolate syrup into her shampoo.
Dunk toilet paper in water for a few minutes and put it back on her roll.
Marinate toothbrush in garlic/onion water solution.
Turn her car stereo up all the way and remove the knobs.
If there are condoms in her room, replace them with teabags.
Get copies of keys that look like hers and replace them on her keyring.
I didn’t see any of these mentioned yet. No guarantees.
I still vote for the kindness angle. Don’t let her pull you down to her level. It doesn’t pay.
More phone messages:
Get the number fo the local aquarium and leave a message from A. Fish.
Or the zoo: G. Raffe.
Grocery store: Mr. Brock Olli.
Post office: N. Velope.
Candy store: Mr. Goodbar.
Toys’R’Us: Barre B. Dahl.
etc.
Jesus turned the other cheek, look what happened to him.
Get at your local store, a fruity yogurt(the kind that has ruit chunks in it) and put it in her shoes or socks.
Get a little garlic and mesh them then put some under her pillow, in her underware drawer…be creative!
or pick up hair from your bathtub drain or whatever, and put it at the bottom of her bed, where her feet would be.
break an egg under her bed. the foul smell should rise quickly.
Wow. I am in awe of your sheer evillness.
I suggest leaving the egg out in the sun for a few days first.