Yeah, Jesus turned the other cheek and look what he ended up with --millions of followers!
Yeah, but that was back before cable TV. These days, if you want to get millions of followers you have to do something a little more exciting, like those wacky kids on Jackass.
You got me there. Let’s see…a little shaving cream and …
Fantastic stuff, I only wish I had asked the same question when dealing with my old roomate.
A smallish fish in a zippy plastic bag, duct taped to the underside of furniture, will take more than a week to announce its presence. But what an announcement! A hypodermic syringe full of fox urine (check a sporting goods store) can pass through the window gasket of a car and squirt all over the interior. A bottle of cheeeeeeeeeeeeap perfume dumped down the vent in front of the windshield will not go away for a long, long, long time.
Fish Emulsion. Nasty Nasty Nasty. Full bottle in the airconditioner intake of her car. Optionally in the floor boards. Utterly nasty and very long lasting. Pick up some in your local gardening store.
No, no, no! Pranks should never have the potential to cause physical harm (Nair in the shampoo bottle) or property damage (bleach in the detergent). You want to be extremely annoying, not be open to criminal action. Mismatching socks is good. So is placing a few grains of uncooked rice in each of her socks. Every day, remove one article of her clothing from a drawer and stash it between her mattress and box spring. Mix up the dust jackets on her books. I can’t see the potential harm in the toothpaste/food color trick, so have no objections to it. Use food-based terms of endearment when addressing her. “How was your day, my little cupcake?” Close your eyes when speaking to her.
Reading this 10 years later makes me realize how much I’ve matured since then. It’s silly to think I once felt I would have to resort to such pranks. I ended up making nice with her and we ended up being kinda close before our paths parted ways.
Your approach was the one I ended up taking, btw. It worked exactly as you said it would.
What? What’s all this nice bullshit.
You find a friend who wants to pretend to be a stalker. And encrust all her undergarments with semen from whatever source. Make it look rifled through. Really sell it to her that she will be raped and killed at any moment. He could send little cut-out lettered notes to the effect that her anus isn’t bleached enough and her labia look gross, but stalker still likes her anyway. Isn’t that what those pick-up people do anyway?
She won’t sleep for a long time.
Also open up one of her walls, since you’re moving out of that shithole, and stuff it with rotting sea specimens and assorted dung. Then close the wall back up and do a good job of it.
ETA the white glue on sensitive undergarments – brilliant. I’ll remember that one.
Just don’t get caught.
Revenge is all about pain for someone else, and it is very good. Don’t spend the rest of your life regretting what should have been your moment of glory.
It’s been 9 years. Perfect time to serve cold revenge by releasing a horde of zombies on her.
Go to http://wwwn.cdc.gov/pubs/dstdp.aspx which is the Centers For Disease Control’s website and have embarrassing documents mailed to any address which describe treatment options for sexually transmitted diseases.
I did this a few years back- had them sent to my buddy- his girlfriend opened the mail and hilarity ensued!
I could say that I am a different person since I wrote this a decade ago. The truth is that I am not. I am the same person this poor lady and everyone else who has ever known me has had to put up with. Still, I would like to believe that I have learned and grown a bit in the meantime.
I’ve learned to love those I spend my time with. I am not as ignorant towards what the people in my life have to put up with from me as I was in the past. I don’t take it for granted and find it better to try and spend my time making my presence worth its while even if I may fall short. I can make all my efforts the best ones and still fall short lol.
I’ve also learned how to take licks to the ego since then. I know full well who I am and don’t blame anyone for disliking me. In fact, I don’t even hold it against a nigga. The truth is, if you’re close enough to see my flaws, then I am close enough to see yours. We are all more perceptive than we can ever let on so that leaves a quandary, doesn’t it?
The handbook of the strategist has said:
‘Do not invite the fight, accept it instead,’
‘Better a foot behind than an inch too far ahead,’
Which means:
Look a man straight in the face and make no move,
Roll up your sleeve and clench no fist,
Open your hand and show no weapon,
Bare your breast and find no foe.
But as long as there be a foe, value him,
Respect him, measure him, be humble toward him;
Let him not strip from you, however strong he be,
Compassion, the one wealth which can afford him.
Should I be puzzled by your presence in a decade old thread? Welcome to the SDMB, btw.
Well, this thread certainly went to shit!
That’s not the only thing that went to shit, Gatopescado. I am currently living with a roommate who is on medication that causes her to have hallucinations. By her own admission they are quite severe. She has been straight rummaging through my email, stealing things from my room, lining up dog food on the floor and blaming it on the dog, accusing me of stealing her dishes and refuses me to even cook in the kitchen. I’ve been holed up in my room and not even talking to her and it is still taken as a sign of aggression so she keeps on attacking. I am working on GTFO ASAP, but it takes a wee bit longer than a couple of days.
She even registered a username called BillAlton to comment in a ten year old thread about my roommates then for who knows what reason. It’s a brand new username she only could have tracked by rummaging my inbox and reading my correspondence with the Admins.
So yeah, the lesson here is if you are experiencing a distortion in your perception, you can expect a distortion in the conclusions you reach with your distorted views. If you are in a position of power over others and operating with impaired judgement, everyone is going to have a bad time. Get some help with that, Mir. There are people who love you and don’t want to see you going through this. Your world isn’t falling apart because someone won’t take your guff over napkins and thermoses. It’s what you’re putting into your body.
Whatever you do, make sure your roommate is not racer72.
Probably couldn’t be worse. What’s the story for Racer72? I could use a good story today.
I don’t know what’s going on here, but I have my suspicions. Take your games elsewhere.