Prank wars! Help me get revenge

In My Humble Opinion
1

So the prank wars have begun.

I live with two roommates. The prank wars began small, but now it’s a matter of oneupmanship. First my male roommate hid food items in my room, which was something of a scavenger hunt. Next we proceeded to Saran Wrap my female roommate’s pillow. Then I got the first roommate back by putting pepper and parmasan cheese in his bed (to my delight he slept in it). And now he’s gotten revenge on me by putting post it notes on every freaking corner of my room! Nothing was spared! We are getting the female roommate again tonight (Saran wrapping the whole room this time, plus placing water cups everywhere, mwahahha) Of course the male roommates turn is next, and I have to out do him! I need ideas!

2

Get a couple dozen rolls of aluminum foil and wrap every single clothing item in his closet and in his dresser drawers. Socks, of course, should be wrapped individually.

3

When I got married, my sister and her husband (after convincing their daughter to steal my extra key) got into my house…

They put rubber snakes in the bed. Lame.
They filled my bathtub/shower with crumpled newspapers. Lame.
Removed the aerator from all my faucets and put in just enough plastic wrap to screw with me. Not quite as lame, and sorta a pain in the ass.
Vaseline-coated every doorknob in the house. Much bigger pain in the ass, and takes months to fully remove.
Plastic wrap over the toilet, put the seat down. I anticipated this one, but can only imagine the ickyness if my husband had been standing in front of it unaware.
Loosened all the lightbulbs just enough so that when we’d flick the switch, nothing happened. Didn’t see that one coming.
Hung my bras from the ceiling fan in the kitchen. Very lame. They should have been ashamed of themselves for that one.
Removed the labels from ALL the canned stuff in the kitchen. This had the potential to piss me off. They DID however number the cans with a marker. Corn was 4.

My brother-in-law has had his car wrapped in plastic and string as payback (not by me, but I wish I’d thought of that!). But the best I’ve known him to endure was when someone poured dishwashing liquid into his pool, while the filter was running, then had the balls to throw the empty bottles into the front seat of his car. He came home that day to his entire yard filled with suds. Wish I’d have seen that! If course, he’s a habitual prankster, and his friends play along nicely.

4

You obviously need my guidance. An old roomie of mine told me he wanted to start a prank war. I told him to go first. He refused to. Well, I couldn’t just leave it alone, could I?

I put an ad out for him in the free newspaper in Buffalo, New York (where we were going to school).

“I am 6 feet 1 inch, 230 pounds of creamy nubian desire*. I love to give, and my hands are silky smooth. I also like to receive if you’re a giving type. Apply if you think you’re man enough to handle what I’ve got to offer, baby. My phone number is (insert real cell phone number here)”
*real stats, mind you.
A few days pass and no response. Then…the dam broke. We (the 4 roommates) were sitting down, watching tv. Derek’s phone rings. “Hello? Um…no. I think you…have…the wrong number?” At this point, the rest of us were rolling on the ground laughing because we knew about it and were waiting for him to blow up each time his phone rang. “You want me to do what? No, it’s a mistake.”

He hangs up and looks at me and starts yelling. I keep laughing. He gave up after the first deadly blow.

He was also a male cheerleader. He was “in the closet” about it, though; his dad didn’t know, and would frown upon it.
(quick story)
One time, he was home watching “Bring It On” late at night. His dad walks into the room and my roommate flips the channel. Of course the next channel was CNN and his dad saw it. His dad say “Son, were you watching porn?” Derek had to say yes, because he was that afraid of what his dad would say.
(end quick story)
He wouldn’t even tell us when he was going to perform for basketball games. So, the next step was to take a picture of him, doing his thing and mail it to his dad.
The next phase was to have him declared legally dead and have the newspaper clipping mailed to his parents. He should be glad I didn’t have to get that far.
Do your victims have those old style computer chairs at their desks? The ones where you keep unscrewing them and the seat part comes off? If they do, sneak in, unscrew them, put raw shrimp in the stand, and screw the seat back on. They’ll NEVER find out where the smell is coming from.

Also, if they have a showerhead that’s condusive to this, get clear, flavorless rock candy and unscrew their showerhead and put the rock candy in there. When the shower gets warmer, the rock candy melts, covering them with sugar water. They go out in summer and dirt and paper sticks to them and bugs follow them. They think it’s something that’s on them, and they take another shower, which repeats the process.
You are so very welcome. Want my consultant’s fee now or later?

5

You obviously need my guidance. An old roomie of mine told me he wanted to start a prank war. I told him to go first. He refused to. Well, I couldn’t just leave it alone, could I?

I put an ad out for him in the free newspaper in Buffalo, New York (where we were going to school).

“I am 6 feet 1 inch, 230 pounds of creamy nubian desire*. I love to give, and my hands are silky smooth. I also like to receive if you’re a giving type. Apply if you think you’re man enough to handle what I’ve got to offer, baby. My phone number is (insert real cell phone number here)”
*real stats, mind you.
A few days pass and no response. Then…the dam broke. We (the 4 roommates) were sitting down, watching tv. Derek’s phone rings. “Hello? Um…no. I think you…have…the wrong number?” At this point, the rest of us were rolling on the ground laughing because we knew about it and were waiting for him to blow up each time his phone rang. “You want me to do what? No, it’s a mistake.”

He hangs up and looks at me and starts yelling. I keep laughing. He gave up after the first deadly blow.

He was also a male cheerleader. He was “in the closet” about it, though; his dad didn’t know, and would frown upon it.
(quick story)
One time, he was home watching “Bring It On” late at night. His dad walks into the room and my roommate flips the channel. Of course the next channel was CNN and his dad saw it. His dad say “Son, were you watching porn?” Derek had to say yes, because he was that afraid of what his dad would say.
(end quick story)
He wouldn’t even tell us when he was going to perform for basketball games. So, the next step was to take a picture of him, doing his thing and mail it to his dad.
The next phase was to have him declared legally dead and have the newspaper clipping mailed to his parents. He should be glad I didn’t have to get that far.
Do your victims have those old style computer chairs at their desks? The ones where you keep unscrewing them and the seat part comes off? If they do, sneak in, unscrew them, put raw shrimp in the stand, and screw the seat back on. They’ll NEVER find out where the smell is coming from.

Also, if they have a showerhead that’s condusive to this, get clear, flavorless rock candy and unscrew their showerhead and put the rock candy in there. When the shower gets warmer, the rock candy melts, covering them with sugar water. They go out in summer and dirt and paper sticks to them and bugs follow them. They think it’s something that’s on them, and they take another shower, which repeats the process.
You are so very welcome. Want my consultant’s fee now or later?

6

Juvenile all, and mostly applicable to college, but fun none the less.

  1. If you have a roomie with a hair dryer, talc powder in the dryer is always good. Especially if they aren’t paying attention when they turn it on. Major powder poof!

  2. Take a shaving cream can, shake it up, stick a pin in the top or side, open the door, toss it in the room and pull the pin out. The shaving cream will spray out of the can at high pressure, and if you put the pin in the right place, it will cause the can to spin. It gets messy. I always found edge to work well.

  3. If you get a folder, (like an old album cover), fill it with shaving cream, slide it under the friend’s door, and step on it. Shaving cream will squirt all over the place inside the room.

  4. Fill a large garbage can with water, tilt it on the door of your friend, knock on the door (make sure they are in the room) and run. They will open the door, and gallons of water will soak their room.

  5. Penny-ing someone in a room is standard, so if you need it explained, you are way behind!

  6. place a piece of cheese in a paper towel, put some tape on it, and hide it behind the light on the friend’s desk. It will start to stink, and it’s tough to find. Kind of a twist on the shrimp in the chair trick.

  7. *OK, this only works if you are in college and you share a bathroom with another room (two rooms with one bathroom between). Each room has a lock on the other side of the door, so if you don’t trust/know your bathroom mates real well, you usually keep the door locked. That keeps you from going into the other person’s room. Now, when your roommate goes to the bathroom, lock him in there, and go to dinner with the guys that share the bathroom. He’s trapped until someone lets him out.

*I did this to my roommate in college and boy was he pissed when we came back from dinner. The truth is, I locked him in as a joke, and went across the hall for a few minutes. And then, I forgot about him and went to dinner. I came back 90 minutes later, and found him sitting on the toilet waiting patiently. I felt bad about that one. It took him a while to forgive me. It put a stop to our pranks for a while.

Have fun, and be prepared for the revenge! (and I have more!) Just don’t do anything to cause pain or suffering.

7

While I was in college, I wrapped my boyfriend’s entire car in yarn. Then I tied a little bitty pair of maincure scissors to the door handle.

He only had a few minutes between classes, and his next class was off the main campus at the theatre. He cut away just enough yarn to be able to get in ( I hadn’t wrapped the windshield due to lack of time) and drove it that way.

:slight_smile: He must have forgiven me - he’s now my husband.

8

Either that or he’s like Chuck Norris and he’s just biding his time.

That’s what he SHOULD be doing, at least.

9

Bouillion cubes inside the shower head for a refreshing hot soup shower always seemed like a funny one to me, but I wouldn’t dare do it to anyone. Prank wars usually end badly.

10

Holy shit, LOUNE. I will never, ever, EVER fuck with you.

Would you like a foot massage?

11

Heh. My feets are just fine right now, thank you for asking.

My mind…it works in some interesting ways. I’m definitely goal-oriented, and I can be creative in getting to that goal.

12

I have hidden a tape recorder that played a roomie’s alarm sound, set it for 4:30 am, and watched the fun.

I stole everything out of the shower area that a guy could cover himself with while he was showering. He threatened to show us his naked body, so we gave him a broom.

I have waited for many minutes before a roomie gets out of the shower, only to scare the bejezus out of him when he comes out.

Turned every single thing in a guys room upside down (TV, bed, clothes, personal items).

Short sheeted a bed complete with frozen pennies at the “foot”.

Spiked wings with super-freakin-hot sauce.

Faked their desktop so that it seems like the computer is frozen

Hidden every pair of a roomie’s boxers in the freezer.

Called every single escort service in the phone book, and told them I was my boss, while he was at work. A few showed up.

A very large friend of mine delivered pizzas, on his day off I got him to go to a friends house (whom he didn’t know) and try to deliver a pizza. The guy said he didn’t order it (true) but my friend got heated and insisted that the guy did. Boy was he scared.

I’ve heard that a drop or two of Visine in someone’s drink will cause vomiting, but that’s anecdotal.

13

Most of the pranks I witnessed (I never performed any really memorable ones myself) in college were performed on people who were passed out drunk; sometimes photography or video was used to record such events. College football players (or former players in the case of some) that I know have been the most notorious perpetrators. Some of the most amusing:

-Tea-bagging or some variation thereof where one’s scrotum touches a victim’s mouth or eye sockets

-A naked ass fart within a couple inches of a victim’s face…nasty. This was usually performed after some tea-bagging. The first time I saw this I laughed so hard that my shoulders were hurting.

-Painting a victim’s teeth black with fingernail polish. I would not recommend this one, however. Apparently it was a real bitch to get that stuff off because nail polish remover chemicals are not at all safe for oral use. It took that poor girl most of the next day before realizing what had happened to her teeth.

-Taking a permament marker and drawing on the skin especially the back of the neck so the victim does not realize it’s there until someone tell him/her. This one’s not too original but always has a chance to be entertaining.

-Placing a victim in a shopping cart and chain-locking another shopping on top and upside down creating a cage and leaving it in a parking lot. That was one really unhappy camper for a short while.

-Saran wrapping a victim’s body to a futon (also not too original but is worthwhile now and then for shits and giggles)

-Stacking soda and beer cans between a bedroom door and a wall of saran wrap.
So yeah, I never drank too much at parties. Being a witness was much more fun and worry-free than getting really drunk.

A good prank that does not involve a sleeping drunk:

Sometimes if we my friends and I knew a guy friend was bringing a girl back his room, we would open up an internet browser on his computer and upload a grotesque gay porn website. Penis ensues!!

14

Call it a prank or call it revenge, the difference is only who starts it.

I had a friend that had a tag a long buddy. Nobody liked tag along much, for some good reasons. He never left my friends side or the people with him. Never! He was like a wart on your ass. He ate every last cookie, when somebody made some. Nobody else got one. He consumed every last piece of food in a house. His demeanor was that of Marvin the Depressive Robot.

Friend will be Don
Tag along will be Marvin

Now we were at a local lake to try some ice fishing. We brought some hot dogs and pop for lunch… I had to start the grill a few hours into fishing. Marvin made an ice ball from the ice hole chips and wet snow, while I was gone. He whipped the damn thing into my face and glasses. I went to cut roasting sticks for the wieners, because the grate on the grill was filthy. I cut a couple maple for Don and I. I went to the Poison Sumac For Marvin. I called them over for lunch, and handed out the sticks with a wiener on each. I told Don not to eat anything Marvin cooked or touched. It was so sweet hearing from Don that Marvin had come down with a strange rash the night before, just after we went fishing. It was even better when I saw Marvin that day. Marvin didn’t xxxx with me after that. I never felt bad about the roasting stick, because that ice ball did some damage to my face and glasses at the time.

Where as Marvin’s ice ball was more a malicious prank, and mine revenge, some people think something like this a prank.

Basically a good story on escalation of hostilities and revenge. I meant pranks.

15

Place a small block of wood under one corner of a bed. Place small squeeze toys that squeek under the two corners that can come off the floor. Every time the bed rocks, the toys will squeek.

Remove the light switch and turn it over.

Take a new roll of toilet paper and paint the ends with a glue stick.

Mail them a letter from the landlord that they have to pay a huge rent increase for some really stupid reason such as hair color, the car they drive, their first name, etc. Show them a similar letter with you received with a rent reduction for a similar stupid reason.

Fill a small balloon with water and freeze it. Hang it over your mark’s head while they are asleep. As the water in the balloon thaws, water will condense on the outside and drip on them.

If your mark has a favorite pen, trim just enough off the filler so the tip barely pokes through when activated. Or plug the end of the filler, the ink will quit flowing after a short period.

Superglue small pebbles onto the soles of your mark’s shoes. Or toss a couple very small pebbles in the shoes.

A few drops of lemon juice will make milk taste like it is spoiled.

If your mark has a favorite breakfast cereal, open the box, open the bottom of the bag, reinsert in box then glue the box closed.

Handy with a needle and thread? Remove a couple of buttons from a favorite shirt and sew them back on between the button holes. Sew up about 2 inches of the front pockets of a favorite pair of pants. Sew the back pockets closed. Hem one leg about 2 inches shorter than the other.

Have access to human hair? Cut it up super fine and you have nature’s own itching powder.

Replace their regular coffee with decaf. If they drink decaf, use regular.

16

You guys badly need to get some game. Welcome to the Big Show!

17

[rhetorical point] it is a felony to file a change of address for someone and have all of their mail forwarded to a bar in santa fe, new mexico [/rhetorical point]

18

I used to regularly swap the color caps on a co-worker’s dry erase markers. The markers were of a brand where the marker labels didn’t indicate the pen color. Lame, I know, but nobody else was doing any pranks there.

At my current job they don’t let me near the dry erase board or markers. I wonder why?

19

I see to recall the ancient admonition, “Before starting a prank war, dig two graves.”

Also, “Pranks are a dish best served cold.”

20

These never end well. I suggest you sit down and talk with them about the situation, and ask them not to go there.