I hate my roomate...but need advice about possible revenge

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay,

I really hate my fat, stupid, ignorant roomate. I live in the South, you can just picture a stereotypical young white kid who is a fucking ignorant piece of shit. He is also fucking cheap and is always drinking my milk. He is also a control freak. He goes through the daily process of rearranging the fridge to get things less “cluttered” My other roomate and I have realized that he is definitley a problem. I would really love to piss him off really good.
So, here is my problem. He thought I went home this weekend, and I come back and I see a sign that says “Things you need to do before you leave”

There he lists things like

Clean up the wax from the wall, and he goes through a list of fucking things that I need to do to get the room ready. I am not on the lease, though. And I would love to just pack up my things and get the hell out.

I am also going to Germany, so this fat fuck can’t do anything about it either. I’ve put up with fat fuck’s bullshit for too long and I feel like this is the final straw. I don’t like him telling me what to do. The piece of shit! That fucker hasn’t had respect for me at all, so I should really fucking show him something.

The fat fuck pretends to be some sort of admirer of southern culture, but in reality he is just a dumb fuck. He’s really stupid.

I know he let someone sleep in my bed when I was gone once too. He always plays his music too loud too.

Okay, I can easily see how I should be expected to do my share of this, and I think it is fair. I was willing to even pay the entire rent for this month. But now this disrespect is too much. How can I get out of here in a self-respecting manner?
Option one:

Just get a U-Haul and move all of my things out of the apartment when he’s gone one day. I don’t think that this is possible, and further, I think it wouldn’t actually be fair, and it would piss off my other roomate who isn’t so bad. Plus I’d have to find a way to set up a time etc. I had originally planned on moving out on the 9th. So its very possible to live in a hotel until then. This would make me feel really good, though.

Option two:

I tell fatass that I am going to pay roomate #2 the rent money for May, so he can settle the score. I don’t know if the situation will allow this, though. But then I can then tell roomate #2 that if he wants to keep the money and tell fatass that I didn’t pay him he can. That would be a good bit of money. So that way I only piss off roomate #2. Plus he would probably get pissed off significantly to bitch a lot and call me and piss me off more.

Anyone know of any other options?

Should I write a letter telling him what a piece of shit I think he is?
I could really tear into his ass. I could really dig deep.

Should I get revenge at all? I really want to, but I do believe that being a good person is mostly a good thing. Suppose I just do what he wants? It would certainly be better, and I could begin to forget the dreadful 8 months that I have lived here. So, what to do? Go for revenge or just obey.

I do tend to not stick up for myself enough at times, though. I don’t want to let him walk all over me.

2
  1. Grow up
3

So being a grown-up is letting people disrespect you?

4

Being a grown-up is simply leaving the situation. “Possible revenge” is a kiddie fantasy.

Here’s what you do: Tell your roommates that you’re leaving, give them plenty of advance notice, and then pay your rent good and proper, like an adult. Then leave, find another place to stay, live happily ever after.

5

Being a grownup is not storing up all your petty grievances in one big bag as an excuse to act like a cowardly jerk.

6

Why do I get the feeling that there are some things we haven’t been told? Your roommate writing a to-do checklist for you isn’t exactly the most outrageous thing I could think of. There has got to be more to this than you outlined here. Can you be more clear/coherent?

Why don’t you start a milk fund? If there isn’t enough money contributed to buy a gallon, then there’s no milk in the house. Also, if everyone doesn’t contribute as equally as possible, then no milk is purchased. Granted going without milk would be something that would make me grumpy, but it would probably get the point across. If the milk is for coffee only, why don’t you buy a coffee mate type of creamer in a flavor said roomate despises?

Otherwise, I’d just chalk up the whole thing as getting experience in learning to deal with assholes. There are a lot of them in the real world. Sometimes you do need to speak up, and stand up for yourself. It sounds like you need to learn what is a good reason to make a stand, and what should be let go though.

Generally, if it’s not worth ringing ears, or a possible bloody nose, I don’t do anything drastic. I’d just tell the roommate that if he was going to continue to drink milk I had purchased, then he owed me part of the cost of said milk. If he doesn’t pay for it, then he can’t have any. With rare exceptions, if he asks nicely and I am feeling generous.

You need to learn what action is acceptable for various situations. It seems as though you tend to “go overboard” when you do finally decide to stand up for yourself. Often, a little bit of action goes a long way. Usually, that “action” is words spoken alone. I hope my words have been helpful and make sense to you.

7

Okay, I realize that it is impossible for me to get all of the information across. But one of the lists was.

Talk to (his girlfriend) about the dishes that you possibly ruined.

Some of the dishes are hers. But this fucker hasn’t even mentioned it to me once. I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about. I haven’t seen him since he left the note.

Also he was obviously in my room without asking to do the evaluation of the situation. He obviously has no respect for me and I don’t like it. The milk fund thing is pointless now. The other roomate agrees with me that he’s definitley the one in the wrong, and almost everyone we know thinks so.

Look, normally I don’t carry around petty grievances, but I’m sick of letting this guy show no respect for me. That is what pisses me off. He goes into my room when I’m gone, and does many other things that just show general lack of respect.

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Zabali_Clawbane wrote

Hear, hear.

My gut tells me that you’re irresponsible and messy. Yeah he shouldn’t be drinking your milk, but I suspect your roommates have grievances as well.

You say he doesn’t respect you, but respect isn’t free. Be an adult. either a) sort out your grievances by talking them out and working to do better, or b) pay what you owe, give decent notice and leave.

9

No he disrespects me because I am not like most people in the South. He is not an open-minded person. And my roomate has told me why fatass does disrespect me, and this is why.

I am not a messy person and I am more responsible than he is. I actually make it to all of my classes and he doesn’t he is taking a really easy major and easy classes and struggles and I am taking harder classes and I have to work hard.

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And by the way, even if you are 100% right and he’s 100% wrong: Take the high road. Just pay what you owe and get out. You claim to be the better man in all this, so be the better man now.

11

I did this with an idiot roommate. I should probably tell you how bad I feel and stuff, but it was actually pretty funny then, and I continue to relish sticking it to someone who more than deserved it. Though I arranged with the apartment complex to get out of the lease, paid my share of the rent, and did everything but tell the dumbass roommate, so everything was fine. Well worth it. YMMV.

12

You’re getting some really shitty advice here. There are few things as rewarding as getting righteous revenge on an ignorant, fat fuck roommate. I know, I’ve done it. It was like fifteen years ago and it’s still a pleasant memory. Only a douche bag let’s somebody walk all over him. Pay his fat ass back. Trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Stiff him on the rent. Load a virus into his computer. Hide an open can of sardines in his room. They’ll start to stink in a couple of days and it’ll drive his fat ass crazy trying to figure out why. Call his parents and tell them he’s gay. pour corn syrup into the gas tank of his car. Since he likes to drink your milk so much, leave a nice full carton for him with a healthy dose of laxatives in it. Any or all of these things are guaranteed to satisfy.

Of course, there’s always the direct approach too, just beat the living shit out of him, or barring that, just tell him to his fat face what an ignorant sack of shit he is.

Seriously, though, if nothing else, at least ignore his obnoxious to-do list. Just pay the bare minimum that you owe him, take your shit and go. Let him clean his own fucking wax off the walls, fuck him.

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The above post by Diogenes the Cynic has many good examples of going overboard. Also there is more than one way to go to jail there too. :rolleyes: I thought you were more rational than that, Diogenes. (There was no indication that you were being facetious there either.)

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The above post by Diogenes the Cynic has many good examples of going overboard. Also there is more than one way to go to jail there too. :rolleyes:

I thought you were more rational than that, Diogenes. (There was no indication that you were being facetious there either.) :dubious:

15

Captures, and eats the glitch imp that just haunted her.

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Well, you say your not on the lease… I am suprised he has not asked you to leave. Trust me… him drinking your milk and your minor petty ramblings seem to be very well minor.
Going in your room well that is not cool. Of course, we have your words to go by… no real “testimonials” here to elaborate.
WHen I had roomates it was not uncommon for any of us to walk in and leave a note in one of the others room. The computers in each room was the best place to know someone got the note.
His cleaning list does not seem to be to far out of line… hell he is one of the two renters there… you are technically a guest.

Of course my person favorite crap you have been spewing

Nothing shows openmindedness and respect for someone by repeatedly calling them “fatass”

Move out and write it off as a learning experience. Trust me there are bigger things out in the wide world to get worked up over Mmkay?

17

Plus, now we have it here on record that you’re planning to get revenge on him.

Do you guys share a computer?

:rolleyes:

How stupid can you be? Grow the fuck up, move out and get over it.

18

I don’t think I suggested anything illegal other than kicking his ass (ok, maybe sabotaging his car). I thought the word “seriously” in my last paragraph indicated a certain degree of facetiousness in my prior suggestions.

I’ll clarify: My suggestion in my last paragraph was the only thing I was really serious about. Pay him what you owe him but don’t fucking cave to his little to-do list either. If it was me, I’d probably tell him what an asshole he was too, but I wouldn’t actually do any of that other stuff.

19

Uh, deliberately infecting his computer with a virus would also be illegal, would it not?

(If one could prove it.)

20

So is administering the laxative… It could cause serious illness, and if proven could be prosecuted as assault.