What can I go as? I hate this shit. Am I the only one?
I am very comfortable being myself. I am not comfortable dressing up in a costume. I’ve never liked this shit. Thankfully I have two weeks to come up with something.
Help?
sheet = ghost
sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost.
Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone.
sheet = ghost
sheet and conical hat does NOT equal a ghost.
Dress yourself as ebola to scare the hell outta everyone.
Simple Costumes for Guys who hate Dress Up.
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Go to a Value Village /Sally Ann or better yet some hole in the wall thrift/charity shop. Buy a loud plaid jacket and a wide tie. Voila! You are Don Cherry.
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Hockey Jersey, tape on glasses, black out some teeth. Fake bruises. Hanson Brother (Slapshot).
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Charlie Brown Ghost. A bunch of holes in a bed sheet, a bag, and a rock inside it.
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Take a black marker and a white t-shirt. “Write 404: Costume not Found” on it.a
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Suit, tie, glasses. superman t-shirt underneath. Open to reveal superman crest when asked.
How about not going to the party at all and then afterwords tell everybody you went as the Invisible Man.
You say you have to dress up? So, dress up! A tux, tails, whatever is the fanciest suit you can find, put it on and wear it to the party. When you’re asked who you’re supposed to be, tell 'em you’re a seat filler at the Oscars.
We are expected to explain we are going as? Oops
Have your gallbladder removed, or suffer a mild heart attack. While hospitalized, swipe a pair of scrubs. Worked for me.
Dress as you would normally but add sunglasses and hat pulled down low. When asked about your costume, explain you’re in a witness protection program.
If you can pull it off, be Uncle Junior.
There is a guy who hangs out at a local Italian restaurant who is a spitting image of Corrado Soprano. He must be related to the owner, he’s always there. I’ve tried to work up the nerve to ask him to pose for a pic with us, but I’d feel awful if he didn’t realize and was embarrassed.
Dress entirely in grey. Introduce yourself as Earl.
Part your hair the other way and tell people you’re your evil twin from the mirror universe. A friend of mine has a naturally-occurring bleached streak in his mustache, just below his right nostril. He blackened it with a Sharpie and bleached a streak on the other side one year, and nobody noticed.
Get a “Hi, my name is…” sticker and fill in the blank with: “Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”
Grow your beard for a few days, then wear a hoodie with the hood up. Tell people you’re a movie star, between movies. Make up some fake movie titles. “Perhaps you’ve seen me in Tusker Rampage?”
I really like some of these. The 404 not costume not found is clever, the Earl Grey is too. And I like the idea of renting a tux and saying that you where told to ‘dress up’.
The easiest would be to put on a name tag. Just not with your name. You could go as ‘George’ (provide your name isn’t George)
That only works if you’re hot.
I’m exactly the same way. I hate wigs, and face paint, and the large sizes that some costumes take up - making me too uncomfortable and awkward to even have a good time.
So, I’ve always figured out ways to dress simply. This year I’m wearing a slightly modified suit to go as The Joker as in the Alex Ross picture here.
I’m not even going to put anything in my hair.
Previous years, I wore the same suit and went as other things, like a hit man, etc.
I don’t like dressing up for halloween for the same reasons that you mentioned. I have a charlie brown t-shirt, yellow with a black zig-zig, that I’ll wear so I can be charlie brown. It’s recognizable and it’s not far off from what I usually wear. I’m sure there are similar t-shirts or shirt/hat combinations that would work for other characters.
…or go as a temporal distortion…
the other option is to not go.
Hold a sign with “sorry” on it.
You’re a formal apology.
I saw a t-shirt with grey paint swatches taped on it - 50 shades of grey.
I’m with the OP here…I tend to go with very minimalist costumes. The New Years party I go to every year is a theme party. One year, it was your favorite TV/movie star.
Knowing the hosts were big fans of the Cleveland Browns, I got a Browns shirt and a fake pair of Drew Carey style eye glasses. (I normally wear glasses anyway, so I just put my contacts in this time.)
One time, at a Pimps and Ho’s party, a friend of mine showed up as Fred Flinstone. Full costume, giant head, etc. It was great. He just didn’t care for the actual theme. 
I like this…and since a lot of my friends like bad puns, I might actually use it one day.