I fucking hate myself today.

The BBQ Pit
1

Why can I solve my problems?

I’m too fucking stupid to get out of my financial hole. Why can’t I find an answer?

I’ve borrowed from so many people, that more then half of my family’s income goes to pay back other people. But, I can’t pay everyone. I have to spend every fucking payday trying to decided what bills to pay and what to skip and what I hope to pay next week. But there’s never enough money the following week to pay anyone either.

So, I start getting shut off notices from all the utility companies and I’m afraid to answer my phone. When I do answer, no one wants to work with me. No one wants to hear me trying, all they want is the amouts that I don’t have.

For over a year now, I’ve been running one month behind on both of my car payments, one of the cars doesn’t even fucking run. I have to pay heavy car insurance on it, although it doesn’t move. I have to make a $100.00 payment every week to the guy who sold me the piece of shit I’m driving now. Since I’m already behind on the car payments, they threaten to reposess the cars if I don’t pay them when they say.

I’m a nervous wreck every day, afraid I’m going to bounce checks, afraid that my kids will get sick and I can’t afford to get them their medicine or take them to the doctor. Our medical insurance is a joke.

I have to write checks, knowing the money isn’t there yet, just to get the basics, things like food and gas.

We fucking got this way because my husband’s job started cutting hours back, not that much, but enough to make me pick and choose what gets paid. Additionally he only gets paid every other week and there is no amout we can depend on to be there for sure. Sometimes there is a $600.00 difference between two different paychecks.

Our credit is so bad now, that I can’t get any consolidation loans. When I call government agencies, I’m told that we make too much money to recieve any help. I’ve been looking for a job, but there’s no much out there and nothing has come through. We bought our house last year, but haven’t had it long enough to borrow anything on it and it’s an old trailer and not worth much anyway.

I don’t know where else to cut back either. I don’t go anywhere. Really. Everytime I even think about leaving the house, I think about the amount of gas I’m going to be using. I don’t buy anything, but food.

We got our tax money back, but it went to bills the minute we got it, and now it’s gone and it wasn’t enough to take care of much anyway.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know where to go.

Why, why, why can’t I get out of this? Why can’t I be smart enough to figure this out? Or good enough to find a job? Or smart enough to have never gotten in this position to begin with?

2

Do you work yourself? Can you get a part-time or full-time McJob and hold it just long enough to get caught up a bit? You say your husbands hours were cut back–could he do something similiar?

3

I’ve been looking for any job, even a McJob, but nobody seems to be hiring right now.

My husband’s hours were cut, but since he’s a truck driver, he can’t be anywhere at any certain times to get a second job.

4

First of all, you need to get a handle on your spending. Do you have cable or satellite TV? Internet connection? Do you eat in restaurants? Go to movies? Are you renting a computer or entertainment system? Those are all luxuries and thus non-essential.

Where do you shop for clothes? I am amazed at how much money people spend on clothing, particularly people with low incomes. We have a good income, and my wife shops at thrift stores. If we can do it, why can’t people with low incomes do it?

Are you using credit cards? Cut 'em up.

Once you get your spending under control, contact the National Foundation for Consumer Credit Counseling. Also check out this page.

5

First off, if the car doesn’t run, why do you have to pay big insurance on it? Would it be a tragedy to have that car go away? Maybe you can sell it, get a few bucks on the sale and lose the insurance payment. At least de-register it and lose the high cost part of your insurance? You still have the monthly payment, but that’s not going away regardless of what you do, and you’re not worse off because the car doesn’t run anyway.

6

dragongirl- just want to say that I’m sorry you’re gonig through a rough time. My Lady and I struggle with debt, so i understand how soul-crippling it can be. The good news is that folks here are incredibly smart, and if you look into their advice, you will likely find some sort of solution. There’s no cure-all, but every little bit helps.

I don’t have much to add, though I am sure that I am not alone in being curious as to how your ‘other’ plans are going, and whether you have made some accommodation with your SO. I think what depresses me most about your posts is that you come across as a single mom rather than a married person.

Good luck.

7

I don’t want to keep the heavy insurance on the non-running car, the finance company requires it, they won’t let me remove it. I would love to be rid of the car, but I owe $4000.00 on it and no one wants to buy a car that doesn’t run for even close to that.

We do have cable TV, but we don’t get any reception otherwise, it’s just basic cable, no extra channels or movies. We don’t rent any furnature or anything like that.

Every once in a while, I get the kids McDonalds, but that it for eating out. We don’t go to the movies, ever, it’s just too expensive to do that.

The only credit card I have is gone. I closed the account and that’s one of the bills I have a hard time trying to pay.

8

Criminy. Some immediate fixes spring to mind:

  1. Call Consumer Credit Counseling Service. They’re the non-profit agency that helps deal with your creditors and your debt, and they’re especially helpful with credit card companies.

  2. Get hard-nosed with your creditors, especially if credit counseling doesn’t work out. Tell them, in no uncertain terms, that your income has been reduced and you need time to restructure. Promise them partial payments, and remind them that they’ll get nothing if they strong-arm you.

  3. Ditch the car that doesn’t work. Stop payments, stop insurance, let 'em repossess it, and get caught up on the car that works. Keep that one up-to-date, so they can’t repossess it. If the finance company plays ball, they’ll get their money eventually.

  4. Review your monthly spending; is there anything automatic you can get rid of? Cable? Cell phones or land line?

9

Here’s the thing, the car is a big drain on your expenses, and provides nothing of value to you. Absolute worst case, the car is completely worthless and you sell it for $1. You still have your monthly payment, you still have only one car to drive, but you’re not paying a big insurance bill. Add in the fact that you will likely get something for the car, even if it doesn’t run, and the picture improves.

Yes, you no longer ‘own’ this car, but can you afford to own this car, especially if it’s broken and not worth much anyway? There is a tradeoff to be made here, you lose out on being able to fix the car and drive it in the future, if things look up a bit, but you gain savings today.

10

Make a list of all your creditors and their contact information, then write a letter to every single one of them, telling them that you wish not to be contacted by phone.

Familiarize yourself with the entire Fair Debt Collection Practices Act and know your rights. This will help you feel more empowered and less intimidated when they do contact you.

11

BTW, if your credit is already for shit, Nametag’s #3 will save you more than my plan, though it won’t look good on your credit report. You could also de-register the car, cancel the insurance, and invite the creditor to repossess the car rather than accept regular monthly payments. He’d be stupid to take the car if you are willing to pay $4,000 for a car that’s not worth $4,000

That way you at least drop the insurance and maybe keep the car.

12

Remove the insurance anyway. What are they going to do about it?
Repossess the car? You don’t want it anyway.

13

I can (and do) as a hobby make (net) about $ 500.00 + a week without a huge effort, just farting around in thrifts and occasionally flipping retail rebate deals, and re-selling on ebay. It takes about 1-2 hours a day. If there are items you know about collectiblity or resale wide and havea decent thrift it might be worth considering. I’m going to stop it, because it’s not really worth my time, but my crack like addiction to making a sale and getting good feedback is hard to overcome.

14

Absolutely. Play hard ball. A simple ‘HAHAHA, go ahead and repossess!’ will do wonders for your morale. They want to be hard…then so should you.

You strike me as being in a space where you’re feeling overwhelmed and helpless. You need to turn that around as soon as you can. Building some confidence will increase your ability to deal with your situation.

And call CCCS. That’s what they’re there for…to help.

www.cccsintl.org

[Fixed link. -JMCJ]

15

Don’t drop the insurance! The bank will slap its own insurance on it, which is horribly expensive, and charge you for it.

I hate to suggest this, but have you thought about declaring bankruptcy? If your credit is shot anyway, at least you can have some peace of mind.

Tell hubby to get a new job, one with more hours. The most important things you need to pay are your utilities, the mortgage, and the cars. The credit cards should be the last thing you pay. All they can do is ding your credit. You could lose electriciy, your house, or your cars if you don’t keep those current.

Since hubby is a truck driver, does he know of any mechanics that would be willing to look at your non-working car for you?

16

Sending warm thoughts your way. I know how it can feel when life knocks you on your ass, and stands on your chest.

  1. Get a book called “Back Off” by Ben Dover. He goes down the list of all the rights you have under the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. He tells you about all the sneaky and illegal things that they can and will do. He also has templates for Cease and Desist Letters to mail to collection agencies.

  2. Do you qualify for government assistance? It’s a big knock to everyone’s pride, but it is there to help you.

  3. Stop answering the phone. It’s stressful enough, without having to deal with belligerent collectors. Jonathan Chance is right. Play hardball, or like a comedian suggests play with them. “I ain’t got the money. I told you yesterday I ain’t got the money. Look, give me your phone number. I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you I ain’t got the money!”

  4. Stop floating checks. With the way they process checks now, there is very little float time. You wrack up too many overdrafts, then you’ll have to go to check cashing places and have them take out 2% that you can’t afford.

  5. Don’t go hungry to pay for a credit card. If your credit is wrecked, then it’s wrecked. The credit card should be the last thing on the list to be paid.

17

Umm…Jonathan, I’m sure you didn’t mean for this to happen, but this link took me to a porn site.

dragongirl, I know you don’t know me from Adam, but drop me an email - I may be able to help you out a bit.

[Fixed link. Please note: if someone accidentally posts a porn link, the preferred response is to click on the “Report this post to a Mod” button. And if you must quote the offending post to note that it’s a porn link, please don’t include the link again in the quote, as that makes one more post the Mods have to edit. Thanks! - JMCJ]
E.

18

This is potentially dangerous. If a creditor receives a properly-formatted request under the FDCPA that it stop contacting a debtor, it may take that request as a sign that the debtor is unwilling to negotiate and immediately initiate a collection lawsuit if it feels that the amount owed justifies the expense of litigation. Nothing will drive you into bankruptcy faster. Instead of simply ordering your creditors not to contact you anymore, negotiate with them. Tell them that you intend to pay in full as soon as it’s possible, that they have to accept partial payments in the interim, and that any litigation attempt on their part will result in an immediate bankruptcy filing by you.

19

I second (or third, wherever we are now) on going to Credit Counselling Services.
Here’s a link to Credit Counselling Services of Western Pennsylvania (I assume you’re in Pennsylvania - a quick Google search would turn up credit counsellors in your area if not).

They are there specifically for people in your situation, Dragongirl. You (meaning hubby) are working, but keep falling behind, and are trying to pay your debts, but there’s never enough to go around. I went to a seminar at my local office a couple of months ago, and just talking with people who know all the ins and outs of debt and getting out of debt felt pretty good. There’s a 1-888 number listed on that site, and it looks like they offer telephone counselling as well.

What they would probably offer you is a Debt Management Plan. They make a realistic budget, based on what you actually owe and earn, and go to your creditors and tell them, “You are going to put the interest on this debt at 5%, and Dragongirl is going to pay you $50 a month until this debt is payed.”(for example).

A Debt Repayment Plan may reduce your credit rating and you will lose your credit cards that you haven’t already cancelled, but if your credit’s shot already, all you have to lose is multiple headaches. The DRP should get your debts paid off in three to five years, with one payment a month.

(Oh, and ease off on the negative self-talk. You’re not stupid or incompetent - you’ve just made some less than stellar choices, like we all do sometimes. I’m working on repaying my own debts here, too.)

20

Oops, mis-spoke myself a little - what would probably happen is that you pay the Credit Counselling service one payment a month, and they distribute that payment to your creditors with a plan that they have worked out with you and the creditors. I believe most creditors are okay with this set-up - they will get all of their money eventually, even if it does mean a reduced interest rate for them, and if the alternative is bankrupty, they’re usually happy to play ball.