I got a guy.

Or: If you live in ________ and need a ________ , I got the person for you!

This is inspired by good and bad contractors everywhere. I’ve had good, and I’ve had very, very, very bad. The good guys deserve to win. Therefore:

If you live in the Bay Area of California and need a painter or general contractor, I got the guys for you!

If you live in Miami and need an electrician, I got the guy for you!

What?

For some reason, I read, “I shot a guy.” With that expectation set, the OP was disappointing.

I thought the OP just found a boyfriend.

Which turns out not to be precluded by the content of the post, but still.

Can you find me a really good pastrami sandwich in the Tampa Bay area?

If you live on the North Shore in MA and need a boat carpenter (who builds them the old fashioned way), I’ve got the guy for you.

Could he build me a pirate ship??

What you use it for is your business…

Once he’s done restoring the one he’s working on, if you’ve got the cash, he’s certainly got the skills. (I’m trying to find a site talking about the last ship he built, The Fame, out of Rockport or Gloucester. )

If anyone in the Greater Boston Area needs a stress-free moving experience, I got a good recommendation. Our last move went like a dream.
I also have an ANTI-recommendation. The next to last move was a waking nightmare.

If you live in Beirut and need an ironmonger, I’ve got your guy.

No, seriously guys. I’m not lying. Wait…come back! Guys?

If you live in Lafayette, IN, and need some gutters installed, I’ve got the guys you want to avoid.
After putting the gutters up, they left stuff in the yard. The gutters leaked. At one place you couldn’t open the door, because it hit the gutter. At another place, the downspout was at the top of the slope, so water collected at the bottom. And finally, after a heavy storm, the gutters fell off. They were redone so we have no more problems with them.

Replying to this quote for the second time, now that I have my facts together…

Well, he already built a privateer and many people (the other side) considered them pirates, so sure!

The Fame was built in Gloucester and sails out of Salem. The guy I have to reccomend was one of three who was on the job nearly from day one until it was launched.

If you live on the Delmarva Peninsula and need metalwork done, I’ve got your guy.

If you live in Dayton Ohio and need a special meal catered for 50 or fewer people, I’ve got your guy.

If you need house painting, sheetrock, plumbing, roofing work, car repair, an extra soccer player, Spanish translation, or a drinking buddy that doesn’t get obnoxious…I have a guy for you!

Really! He’s **all ** mine, but I’m willing to share!