We insist!
And can I just say that the title of this thread alone caused me pain? <shiver>
My dad went through this. It sucked. He cut his when some stuff fell out of an overhead filing cabinet at his work and he was sliced in the left eye by a manilla folder.
Somofuhbich isn’t quite what he said.
It’s obviously the Illuminati behind this. Are you crazy?
Okay. You asked for it. It has a skeevability factor of 11. Here’s the scene:
I’m fishing with the ex on Kentucky Lake. We just got down there. I’m 3 months pregnant, the sun’s shining, and all is well with the world.
We were in a wooded area and I was sitting back on the bank while my ex was casting his line in. I duck my head, I hear the woosh! of his pole, I raise my head, and he comes back for a second cast.
BAM! Right in the fucking eye.
I’m hysterical. Like REALLY hysterical. I’m freaking out so bad they don’t know if my eye is in my head or at the bottom of the lake. Blood is running down my arms and I won’t let anyone near me to inspect the damage.
So the ex picks me up and carries me up this steep embankment, we get in the car and he drives like 30 miles to a hospital. We get there and they say they don’t have anyone skilled in eye injuries (at this point, we’ve established that my eye is indeed still in it’s socket, but it’s a mess). So they throw me back in the car and we drive like another 40 miles to Paducah where they have doctors that can help.
Long story short, the weight smashed me in the eyeball and the hook tore my eyelid nearly off. They had to sew my eyelid back on (while fully awake, thankyouverymuch). My tear duct was smashed, so they had to stick a long proby thing into it, all the way into my nose to drain my tears out. My eyeball was traumatized, but not broken. But I had a pupil like a cat for years afterward. I was flat on my back for two weeks with both eyes patched. And lo and behold, a full recovery!
How’s THAT for grossening??
So, I was going to compain about smacking my upper eyelid-thing (you know, the space between your eyelid and your eyebrow?) on a doorframe this morning and ending up with a bruise that just looks like I loaded on the shiny purple whore makeup up to the eyebrow on one side of my face only, but…
Kalhoun, wow. Ew. Awesome. But ew.
Thanks. It’s always a show-stopper. But HEY…that’s not to say I don’t appreciate the slutty purple eyeshadow shiner. If you’re lucky, the bruise itself will move down your face before it’s re-absorbed. There aren’t Old Lady Florida Sunglasses big enough to cover it. You’re coming in at a respectable second! Bravo!
Yes, yes I did.
In my youth, I saw someone get hooked in the arm by a fisher casting off…that was serious squirm factor for me. The eye story was more than I ever needed a mental image of. Wow.
And thus confirms precisely why I’m a bowler rather than a fisher.
Getting sort of back to the OP, the worst papercut I ever had was a year or so ago when I was opening up a cardboard box and slid my finger hard along the edge of one of the flaps before I became conscious of the fact that I had broken skin. Although nothing like some of the stories told her, I can tell you that a deep cardboard cut hurts plenty good enough for me.
I’ve done that! Hurts like a muthah! It’s a dull cut and it stings and never heals right. I hate that!
Can I safely assume the cardboard cut wasn’t in your eye??
As a kid, I once got a sharp look from my mom.
I’m still pondering how you get a paper cut on your nose and “don’t know how it happened”. It seems to me something like that would stick in your mind. flamingbananas, are you sure it is a cut and not, say, a cracking of the skin from excessive winter dryness and/or nose blowing? (That’s happened to me.) Or did you take “sticking your nose in a book” a bit too literally? 
As for the eyeball stories, y’all are making me really happy I wear glasses. With plastic lenses.
Is flamingbananas of legal age yet? 'Cause we could make some wicked double entendre enuendo type posts.
Not that I know of, I’m keeping the skin pretty well hydrated. Going over my day again I think it happened during Spanish when I was putting my binder away. The top is rather sharp and I’ve gotten two nasty papercuts already from it.
Hear, hear! Though I remember on a school trip to a bowling alley this one year a girl dropped a 20 lb. bowling ball on her thumb from at least three feet up…
You know…I saw the thread title and thought “Oh good! I can tell my papercut to the eyeball story!”
Now you guys have beat me to it and just 'cause I’m pissed about it, I won’t tell you my clawed in the eyeball story, and my burned eyeball story and my other burned eyeball story! Mostly because they aren’t that dramatic. I was doing something mundane and pointless and next thing I knew I had a claw, a piece of paper or something hot in my eye.
But I did almost get hooked in the eye with a fish hook. I was fishing under the dock I was standing on and yoinked the bait up a little too hard. It took off as soon as it broke the water surface and made a nice arc right towards me. Thankfully, it was the 80’s and I had those heavy bangs that every kid had in the 80’s so the hook hooked my bangs and stopped right in front of my left eyeball.
I also cut my cat’s eye one time, but that was with a sheet of plastic template material, not paper. You could see the gash in her little eye lens from across the room.
Awwww, c’mon!
I used to get paper cuts across my chin.
I worked at a law firm. Putting documents in big manila envelopes for mailing or messengering was a common task.
And for whatever reason, the specific type of manila envelopes used by this firm was perfectly proportioned so when you drew the glued tab across your tongue, the lower part of the opening would slide across your chin.
Never had that problem with any other manila envelopes, before or since.
I wonder if something like that is how the nose got cut.
perfume scented pages in a fashon mag ???
I once cut the surface of my eye while trying (poorly) to shift a semi-hard gas permeable lens around on it. Not major, but kind of scary at the time just because of that awful sinking feeling you get after you know you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.
It wasn’t my injury, but working in an eye clinic, I was told about one of the more dramatic eye injury cases that’s been worked on there. I’ll spoiler it, but let me just summarize first: grade-school age boy, paintball, not using proper eye protection.
It wasn’t quite, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” but close. The paintball pretty much flattened the eye, squashing it vertically. After many, many surgeries, lots of complications, and using just about every specialist available, they actually managed to eventually get the eye back to where it could see poorly with best-corrected vision. Considering what happened, one could be surprised it could function at all.
I’ll be crushed if you don’t share. It’s lonely at the top!