Last night, at about 7:00, I was sitting in chat, bored off my ass. The phone rang, I picked it up, and a friend, Preston, invited me to Stanford’s & Sons, a Kansas City comedy club. He had tickets to the night’s show, the hilarious Lewis Black, from Back In Black, the Daily Show, with Jon Stewart.
When we got to the club, one of my friends, Howie, was hangin around outside. We asked him what he was doing, and he told us he was going to have dinner with Lewis Black. Double take. Lewis Black? Yeah, he’s my dad’s cousin.
So we go into the club, and Howie sits down to wait. Preston and I go off to the game room to kill time before the show. When they started seating for the show, Preston and I went out to see if Howie was going to sit through it. He was still eating dinner with Lewis, so he introduced us. Lewis was polite, said hello, we told him how much we enjoyed Back In Black, you know, usual suck up shit.
Preston and I went in and sat down, and we got second row, center stage seats. Nice shit for $18. Turns out our cocktail waitress is a really hot chick one of my friends dated, so we invited her for drinks after the show. The first guy came on (sucked), the second guy came on (Hey, I sold him a computer!), then, AC/DC comes over the sound system, and they announce Lewis Black.
Lewis’s set was fucking hilarious. I was a half-squeeze from shitting my pants laughing the whole show. Fucking hilarious.
After the show, Preston went off to take a piss. Amanda (the waitress) finished up, clocked out, and came over and waited with me. I was waiting for Preston by the bar behind the stage, and Lewis was standing there, sipping a drink. When Preston came back out, we went over and reintroduced ourselves to him. He remembered us, and we talked for a few minutes. We asked him what he was doing now, and he said he had some business to attend to, but we could have a few drinks afterwards.
Preston and I went downstairs and grabbed a table with Amanda. We sat for a few minutes, sipping beers, wondering if Lewis meant it.
After about 20 minutes, he came back downstairs, and came and sat at our table. Yeah, un-fucking-believeable.
We ended up shooting the shit with Lewis for about 3 hours, discussing hecklers (some stupid shit redneck woman was doing her best to heckle him during the show. She came off sounding mentally-impaired, at best), breaking into comedy, how hot Nancy Walls is, how funny Vance, Steven, Stephen, Mo, and Jon are, and tons of other shit. He’s just as funny in person as he is on TV, although skinnier, older, and alot tanner, although not as pissed off, he actually smiled alot, and laughed at a bunch of MY jokes!
So anyway, we talked to Lewis for a long ass time, just shootin the shit, when he decided it was time to go back to his room and catch some sleep. The second comedian (the one I sold the computer to) came over and we talked to him for about 30 minutes to an hour, he gave me a shitload of free passes for tonites show, and finally Preston and I took off.
Man oh man, was it worth the $18 ticket! Fuckin’ A! I go to see a famous comedian, and end up just getting drunk with him for 3 hours! Fuck me! How cool is that!?
By the way, Lewis drinks straight vodka, but he also likes something called “17 days in a crackhouse” and Goldschlager shots. Oh, and if he’s doing his bit about Democrats vs. Republicans, and quips that if they want to make Lieberman more popular they should nail his ass to a cross, that was all me. After I said that, he stops, dead serious, and says “That’s a great fuckin’ line. That’s incredible. That is a great line!” Preston says “Really? You gonna use it next time?” and Lewis says “Not in Kansas City, there’s about puh puh puh fuck puh fuckin 6 jews in Kansas City! But God-damn it, it’s goin in my act!”
I’m so fuckin stoked. Who wants to touch me?
–Tim
