Congratulations! I hope you two have many more happy years together! xoxox
More congrats!
As one who remembers pretty far back, can I modify this statement, to wit, “It’s so different…being together, but in the closet and afraid, with being married, open and proud?”
I’m glad I’ve lived long enough to see this happen. 
Congratulations, from me and my husband! We recently celebrated our 3-month anniversary, after a 28-year engagement. Thank you, SCotUS!
Yes, being married is different than just being together.
Thank you so much! I am so hesitant to respond to my own thread because I don’t want to bump it without reason.
I sooooo appreciate your well wishes! And I read them all. But if there isn’t a point that I can clarify then I don’t intend to respond.
There is a part of me that wants to clarify, but it’s so boring. It’s so hard to figure out what are relevant points vs. what are minutiae.
—But it isn’t hard for me to choose the least tribal human being that I know of to be my favorite. And that’s the conundrum. My partner just spent $700 on a fellow human being. He just felt, "she needs this-----with her cancer and all. . . "
While I’m thinking, “you know, I should be doing something about this. . .” he is actually doing something “about this”.
Life happens at too fast a rate for me to process. And somehow my partner manages to make thoughtful decisions—good decisions to care about people. What more do can a person want?
Late to the party but congratulations and hugs to you both!
Well then, here’s a question: what made you so surprised that your mother-in-law came? Are her beliefs similar to that of your mom? Did you think she would be like your mom and say she couldn’t attend?
I was surprised that my mother-in-law attended because she’s 83 and from a different time. She was raised a Quaker and you know how they are “devoted to peaceful principles” which manifests as passive-aggressiveness when they are addressing issues that they disagree with. When talking to my partner about me, she always referred to me as “your friend” —“Is your friend going with you on vacation?”—“Did your friend take you to the hospital?”
I know, I know, There’s nothing offensive about being called “your friend”. It is a peaceful way to refer to a person. I don’t know. It sort of keeps them at arm’s length from you. Why couldn’t she just use my name, you know?
She never communicates directly. “I don’t want to keep you out. You are probably tired and want to go home,” actually means, “I want to go home”. She says that sort of thing when my partner takes her out shopping and to dinner.
There is nothing not nice about my interactions with her. I have a hard time deciphering indirect communication.
But my partner also finds it hard to know what his mom thinks. He almost didn’t ask her to come because he didn’t want her to be in an awkward position to have to decline if it offended her. I hope that clarifies things, because when I re-read it, it sure seems vague.
Is she also one of those people who take fifteen minutes to say “goodbye” on the phone because they don’t want to cut the conversation short because that would be impolite (hello, I’d like my fifteen minutes back, they’re mine)? My mother has a friend like that. If I see her name on Caller ID and Mom isn’t in, I won’t pick it up because “Mom isn’t in, I’ll tell her you called” can spread into a quarter of an hour. You MiL sounds like she’ll be like that…
Late to the party, but huge hugs! Everything will always be something. Inlaws will always be inlaws. Grab your love and hug tight and it will all work out!
I’m a hopeful optimist!