People actually hand these out? Maybe I’ve never seen them because Las Vegas is a modern day Sodom and Gomorrah.
I love the way the Sodomite calls to Lot “Bring out your guests that we might know them (sexually).” When reading that aloud at my next Chick Pamphlet Players Party, how exactly do you indicate parentheses when you’re reading a line?
Did you notice that he not only uses Paul Cameron’s AIDS study (the one that states that the average life expectancy of gays is 42*) but reduced the age to 39?
Who else thinks that one day we’ll find out that Jack Chick is really a pseudonym for Jim J. Bullock who’s been selling these and laughing his ass off since he was a teenager?
*Cameron arrived at this figure by averaging the ages of people from obituaries taken from a gay southern newspaper; almost all of the people eulogized in the periodical were AIDS activists, which slightly skewers the statistics (i.e. the Quentin Crisps of the world passing away from natural causes at 90 in Ft. La-de-da condos didn’t figure at all). The study was so biased that even William “the Bookie of Virtues” Bennett condemned it (after citing it on a talk show).
Oh, yes, offering up your virgin daughters to the lusting mob outside your door is a SURE sign of your virtue and godliness. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: X 100
You have to say the main part with as enthustiastic expression as possible, pause half a beat, then murmur the parenthesised portion in a lower monotone).
. . . while winking broadly and laying your finger aside your nose.
:dubious:
Is this guy serious or not?! Religious extremism, yach.
…which will cause you to be lofted out the chimney into your waiting sleigh…
He THINKS he is. Search the board for “Jack Chick” and “tract” for more fun than you can shake a Bible at…
Chick creeps me the hell out.
I’d opt to follow the much easier, more sensible commandments of the Church of Leary (Dennis Leary, that is)
-
Don’t steal.
-
Don’t kill anyone.
-and-
- Don’t screw any little kids.
As opposed to the Church of Tim Leary, which, quite frankly, my consciousness is way too expanded to think about.
Just kidding. I’m sober right now.
I’ve only seen these things through SDMB, but something from this one jumped out at me…
“Average life expectancy for the male homosexual before AIDS was only 42 years because of venereal disease and violence.”
Jack, do you mean violence like the kind fundamentalists and bigots like yourself might carry out against homosexuals? That seems like something you might not want to draw attention to…
Please don’t do this great wickedness!
Heh.
I read the Doom Town tract. The Chickster should try READING the Bible before he thumps it:
Kinda makes me wonder who the REAL Sodomites are, uh? 
You do see the problem with this idea, right?
Eve said:
I am so becoming alsebian right now.
Please,Eve, don’t become Alsebian! There is so much political strife in Alsebia that all Americans are advised to leave the country immediately. Why,just 3 days ago an American woman was kidnapped and brainwashed by four Alsebians. She must have been brainwashed because when they dropped her off after 2 days,she was heard to say,“Okay,I got your address and phone Number. I’ll give you a ring as soon as I sleep and heal.Hee,hee,hee.”
That way madness lies,Eve. Alsebia sounds really perverted.
Much like this story…
Oh,I became so fearful of Eve becoming Alsebian that I forgot to say that I can’t get the Chick tracts,and I’m pissed about it. It might take 10 or 15 minutes for my webtv to make it to a site,and if I ever do get it,I can’t read the tiny print.
Every time one of these threads appear,I just want to go to bed and masturbate my misery away,and since I’ve been up all night,I think that’s what I’ll do.
I feel somewhat better already.
Damn, I already started taking lessons in speaking Alsebianian.
OK, everybody form a circle around *Eve. Somebody give me a non-fiction book, one of the Straight Dope books is preferred. What? All we’ve got is last month’s issue of *Omni{/i]? Lay it on me. Lynn and Mangetout, hold it over **Eve’s ** head for me.
OK, now…
Eve, do you renounce Jack Chick and all his works?
Do you renounce hatred against Catholics, Muslims, Jews, Pagans, practitioners of alternative lifestyles and Christians who aren’t Fundamentalist enough?
Do you renounce all badly-drawn comic-type books?
Do you promise that when handed a Chick Tract you will do your best to refute all the lies contained therein?
Do you promise that you will then laugh hysterically while the Giver of the Chick Tract is within earshot, and deposit in the nearest trash can, its natural home, or else give it to a person, Strong in Reason, who collects them for their comedic value?
In the name of all that is true, or at least factually accurate, I command Jack Chick and all his minions to depart from this Child of Reasonable Intelligence and remove himself to the more unpleasant regions of the universe.
And all the people said
Amen
My first experience with these booklets was my freshman year in high school, around 1972. In english class, we had to team up in twos and have debates. Our topic was evolution, we were against it, and my partner provided all the research - one of these comics. The class would vote on who made the most convincing argument and guess who won. Not us.
There is one church here that likes to pass these things out, “The Door.” It is a “Foursquare Gospel Church,” based on the teachings of Aimee Semple McPherson. Here’s another link about her which may not be work safe.
The Door is looked upon by many here as “cultish.” A majority of its members were Marines and ex-drug addicts. They like the heavy discipline the church demands. They boast of speaking in tongues and faith healing. They’re one of these churches that has a “haunted house” at halloween, only to feature things like aborted fetuses.
I have worked with a few of their members and remember one upset after seeing a news program on the church. It claimed the members are brainwashed. The guy from the church who I directly worked with asked him if he felt brainwashed. The first guy thought for a second then said, “I’d rather be brainwashed than a pervert.” Several times my cow-orker tried to put the pervert guilt trip on me at work. Didn’t work because I know I’m one. 
As a heathen, I guess I’m going to their Hell. I was raised a Christian but feel more of an attraction to the Hindu Dieties, mainly Siva and Lakshmi.
I find these tracts creepy and entertaining at the same time. I’ve thrown them away after reading them, but am thinking of collecting them now.
I first heard of Chick Comics in a book titled High Weirdness by Mail. The book had many sections dedicated to different types of crackpot groups, like UFO contactees, weird science, political paranoiacs, and so on. Chick Publications was in a section named “Groups You Love to Hate(But They Probably Hate You More).”
Then I started hearing about him on the SDMB. After reading a number of them online I even participated in a “Write Your Own Chick Tract” thread. But I’ve never actually held one of them on my own two hands. Doesn’t matter I suppose, I can get all the hate I want just going to church and seeing the Fred Phelps group across the street picketing us.