So, I enter my usual stall yesterday, and I notice that the latch is kind of broken. Without describing it in detail, it still certainly appears that the nubbin has a recess to slip into and the door will still hold shut.
Furthermore, I’ve been using that stall for 3 years now and not once have I ever been turd burgled. This is due mainly to the fact that there is like a 2 inch space between the edge of the door and the wall, and anyone can CLEARLY see when a person is in the stall without actually seeing too many details of the proceedings.
So, wouldn’t you know it. The first time I’m in there with the broken latch, in comes the turd burgler, stops right in front of the stall door and immediately flings it open.
Who’s trying to burgle my turd.
Well, I was able to hold my arm out and force the door back before any real exposure came into play, but dang what a disconcerting thing to have happen right in the middle of a dumper.
Well, there’s your problem: the reason this was the first time the latch was broken is that you were in the wrong bathroom! The lack of urinals should have tipped you off…
This is one area where Europe is way ahead of the US. When I was in Germany public restrooms were all similar to the one in our office in Langen. Outside door leads to a room with two sinks. From there another regular interior door with a overlapping jam and only a tiny gap at the bottom leads to a room with the urinals. From there each stall again has a full door with an overlapping jam and a deadbolt lock. Aside from having a vent in the ceiling and maybe being able to sleep a sheet of paper under the door the crapper room is hermetically sealed. We’re talking fortress of soltude here. Superman should have such a private niche to read his Sunday paper.
Gee – do they have complimentary copies of Hustler and lube dispensers as well?
Honestly, I’ve always suspected that USian bathroom stalls were as privacy-challenged as they are because of fears that, if provided with that degree of solitude, the men would use them as wankatoriums.
I’ve never heard this definition of “turd-burgling” before either. But I totally burst in on the stall of some guy in my dorm the other day. Shame was brought unto my house to the third and fourth generations.
Based on your user name, I’d guess you’ve been gunning for such an encounter for a while.
[Already In Use]
“oops, did it again”
“oops, so sorry. never happen again”
“oops. . .hey, more floaters than sinkers huh?”
[/AIU]
I was travelling in France this year, and I went into a gas/station convenience store parce que je devais faire mon crotes. (i had to take a crap).
Well, this is uncomfortable enough in a gas station where you KNOW the customs.
Thank Dieu that they had those locking doors that went all the way to ceiling. I might have even had a wank in there if we weren’t in a hurry. They even had one of those “eastern european” style ones with the hole in the floor and the footpads. I decided to forgo it on that occasion because I think there was a little merde around the rim but if you’re a little flexible, that’s a sweet way to shit. It just falls right out. There’s very little cleanup.
Here’s a question: I’m all for picking your nose in the stall. You have an easily accessible tissue that you can just tuck down between your knees. Shoot, with a skillful fold, you can use the same tissue for its intended purpose. So, in an office building comprised entirely of adults, who the fuck is wiping giant boogers on the wall right next to the toilet?
Is it a territory marking thing?
Are people so proud of their booger that they need to leave it for the next guy? (actually some of those boogers do impress me)
So, I enter my usual stall yesterday, and I notice that the latch is kind of broken. Without describing it in detail, it still certainly appears that the nubbin has a recess to slip into and the door will still hold shut.
Furthermore, I’ve been using that stall for 3 years now and not once have I ever been turd burgled. This is due mainly to the fact that there is like a 2 inch space between the edge of the door and the wall, and anyone can CLEARLY see when a person is in the stall without actually seeing too many details of the proceedings.
So, wouldn’t you know it. The first time I’m in there with the broken latch, in comes the turd burgler, stops right in front of the stall door and immediately flings it open.
Who’s trying to burgle my turd.
Well, I was able to hold my arm out and force the door back before any real exposure came into play, but dang what a disconcerting thing to have happen right in the middle of a dumper.
Turd. Burgling. Bitches.
THIS POST HAS BEEN TURDED BY THE TURDBURGLARIST!!!
Ha, good point!
I thought the place that I work at was goofy. All manner of booger smeared on the wall just above the urinals. And this at a place where there are lots of suits and execs. Gross as all heck. Here I am trying to mind my own business and I’m confronted with crusty boogeridge 14 inches from my face.
Sick people, I tell you. I’d love to catch someone in the act. Just like I swear I heard a guy snoring in the crapper the other day, yes, sleeping on the john. :rolleyes:
That’s funny I just burgled some guys turd this weekend. The door was cracked and I was half asleep. How embarrassing! However I wish people wouldn’t crap in a stall without the latch. I guess sometime its unavoidable.
I think the European toilets are much more fun than American one. You have such variety. You get the squat toilets and the one which have different flush forces and of course they are always moving the flush levers around. It’s GREAT! Italian’s seem to have the dirtiest public toilets and the least paper. Germans, Austrians, and Swiss are all pretty good.
