I think I’ll celebrate by:
- Having a legally, covertly monitored conversation with my attorney.
- Consuming products from the honorable and selfless corporations who declined to advertise all day.
- Reading the New York Post/watch FOX News for more editorials on why everything Israel does is justified.
- Raising a toast to our democratic, civil-rights-observing allies against terror, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan.
- Getting drunk and screaming at a turbaned Shiekh for no reason.
- Continuing to not car pool with my SUV, eating fatty fast foods and blaming it on my genes–and throwing half of it away, writing long angry letters to the editor and then not voting, paying way too much for health care but forgetting to become an organ donor, defaulting on my student loan, and whining about the great miscarriage of justice better known as the American Idol finale.
Happy Patriot’s Day!
(After all, they are the Superbowl Champions…)
And thus, it shall b proven that the terrorists have not won.