This week was so odd for me. I had a beautiful new girl (tygr cub #2) Monday and my mom died on Friday.
Mom said she was hanging on for this baby. She was in the room during the birth Monday and was able to come over and hold her on Thursday. She almost died a couple of times the end of last year. She had COPD (Emphesyma and Bronchitis) and Rheumatoid Arthritis. Her birthday was the 31st of January. Last night, her heart stopped. We couldn’t find her DNR paperwork, so they tried to save her. She couldn’t be saved.
My daughter is so beautiful and such a blessing. Her sister adores her too. She is keeping us so busy. I am so thankful mom saw her and held her. She was so happy about her and my sweet tygr and tygr cub #1.
We had to explain everything to my 3 year old tonight too. That was tough, but I think she took it as well as we can expect.
My brother, who lived with my mom to care for her, is now alone at home. Not really sure how to help him, but I know the girls and I will keep him company while on maternity leave. I am reminding him that Mom was so proud of everything he did for her and me and my family.
I don’t know whether to congratulate you or sympathize with you. Um, how 'bout both?
Congratulations on the newest addition to your family! I like babies a whole bunch. I have a little boy who will turn two this year; my mom was with me when he got here, too (and my sister, a friend, a doctor, and two nurses; the room was pretty packed). It’s great that you had your mom there, and that she was able to meet your daughter. I think that’s fantastic. It’s too bad she couldn’t stick around longer, and I am deeply sorry for your loss. Just thinking about how you must be feeling, that conflict of emotions, is making my heart ache. I really am so sorry you lost your mom.
How happy your mom must have been about this new arrival and how much she loved you and your daughter so much to hold on through untold pain and misery.
The human spirit is utterly amazing.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you are feeling now. But I do want to congratulate you on the birth of your wonderful baby. What an exciting event.
Although the baby is keeping you busy this week, in a few weeks the new will wear off and the tired will catch up. Also this situation is not giving you time to grieve. It is important to know the signs of postpartum depression. Your hormones are changing quickly with the birth of your child. Most of the PPD symptoms are similiar to other symptoms of depression.
lack of concentration
loss of interests
loneliness (nobody understands me)
insecurity (overwhelmed with motherhood)
obsessive thinking (am I going crazy?)
lack of positive emotions
loss of self ( intense wondering if you will ever be the same again)
anxiety attacks
loss of control
guilt
contemplating death
Take all the time you need to grieve. Surround yourself with reminders of your mother. Take time away from the baby when you need to. Get plenty of sleep and do things that you normally would enjoy that do not revolve around baby. PPD might not rear it’s ugly head for months, or very likely, not at all. But you should know that you are at a high risk for it with the death of your mother.
I’ll be thinking of you.
When I was in my early teens my father had…well, just about every medical problem you could diagnose. In short, he was wasting away. December of '82, my nephew was born in Colorado. This was my folks first surviving grandchild (there was one other who only lived two days). Late January of '83, my brother and his wife brought Kelly back east so we could all meet him. On February 9th, 1983, my father passed as a result of non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.
My mother keeps a framed picture of my father holding his month-old grandson. The picture is beautiful and tragic all at the same time. It’s difficult to tell who looks more frail.
Jkayla, you have my most joyous congratulations and my deepest sympathies.
Thank you all so much for the thoughts and congratulations. I don’t get to post very often since I usually work constantly, but I knew I needed to come to the boards for a bit. This is such a wonderful place to be. It IS a time of very mixed emotions. The baby helps and my family is keeping me from overdoing it since only a week out from the birth.
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