I had a realization about job interviews today...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I don’t think I can beat any “worst interview” stories, but I’ve had a few of my own massively irritating/boring/mind-numbing interviews.

A recent one:

I was asked to interview for a management position. Time was tight for me on the day they wanted me to come in. I say, okay, I’ve got a three and a half-hour block of time in the morning, but I’ve got a meeting at 2:30 pm, so can we safely say we’ll be done by 1:00 pm? Sure, sure, no problem, sez the recruiter.

I get there at the appointed time, expecting to interview with two people, as the recruiter had said - and since I’d made my time constraints abundantly clear to the recruiter, I’d expected it to start at least somewhat on time - only to find out it’s one of those all-day, group interview things complete with a boring video extolling the virtues of Company ABC and several lengthy interview “tests” that will take most of the day. :eek:

The “Presentator” (yes - she introduced herself in front of the group, calling herself, "Jane Doe, your Presentator for the first phase, the ‘information’ session) began her monotonous dialogue, outlining what the progression of the “interview modules” would be for the day.

I politely excused myself, walked out towards the lobby area and called the number I had for the recruiter. I left her a detailed message letting her know what had transpired - at that point I didn’t know if she’d been misinformed by her client or if she was just stupid.

I went back in and let one of the name-tagged ‘associates’ tending to the interview group know that unfortunately I could not stay, thanked her for her time and strode the hell out of there. Left recruiter girl a couple more messages, no callback, so I washed my hands of it. :rolleyes:

22

:frowning:

You should have responded “Oh, in that case my bill rate for a personal appearance is $10,000.”

My worst interview experience was when one of the two interviewers had a minor epileptic seizure during the interview. The other interviewer kept on as normal, thus so did I. In retrospect I don’t know that it should have been handled differently. The guy who had the seizure was the owner, so it wasn’t like he was being made to carry on working when he shouldn’t have been. But I have to say it was just uncomfortable to me, since at the time I could only wonder WTF???

In general though I actually enjoy interviews, from either side of the table. It is like a game. Sometimes it is like the great game of business, other times it is more like Windows Solitaire, but either way I mostly enjoy it as a game or puzzle.

23

Sue the bastards. Sue them for every penny, pence, shekel or yen they’ve got.

24

It’s not so much that it was a nightmare or anything, but I once had an interview where it became perfectly clear very quickly that neither the employer nor I were getting anything out of the experience. After 15 minutes I politely said, “I don’t think I’m really the right person for the position. Good luck in your search.” I got up and left, and I think we were both relieved we didn’t waste any more of each other’s time.

25

I have a feeling I will do that one of these days. Today probably would have been a good day for it, but I wanted to get a good feeling for how a job in this industry would work.

26

I haven’t done a lot, but I’ve kind of enjoyed the ones I’ve done, since I had this fantasy about acting, and job interviews are the only acting I’ve ever gotten to do. I decide what part of my resume I want to emphasize, and create this persona for it. It’s got to be related to something I want to do of course, since otherwise I could get stuck with a job for the role, not me.

27

Well, Litoris wins the thread, but I’m imagining that we’re a category 2 given that we’d give you a basic DB structure problem, and then throw one of these at you. The best thing is, we don’t even have to mark your code ourselves. :smiley:

(Though I do understand the salary thing in the OP. In fact, it might be time to ask for a raise. :dubious: )

28

Two stories of irritating interviewing from Poland, but both involving British subjects as interviewers/potential employers.

I took my ESL teaching certificate training (CELTA) in Krakow, because I hoped to find a job there afterwards. However, I wasn’t having much luck and needed to cast a wider net.

So I went to Wroclaw to pound the pavement, introduce myself and drop off resumes. On checking my email, I found a message from International House in Torun – not one of my top choice cities, but IH is a very good school. Can I come for an interview right away because they need someone to start in just over a week, and BTW they will need a couple of references. Also, I’m committed to meet a friend in Dresden for the weekend, but I find a way to squeeze it in and quickly send off emails to references and hope they’ll respond in time. Getting to Torun on time will involve jumping a train halfway across the country with an intervening overnight stop in Poznan, but OK.

Now technically, I need a work visa for such a teaching position. To get such a visa requires you to be in your home country and submit your application with a bona fide offer of employment to the Polish Consulate. Everyone knows this. At the time, most schools were lax about this and a worst would work things out so that you could get your visa at Christmas break.

After a pleasant few hours of interviewing, the guy tells me the local labor inspector has really been cracking down, so you must have a work visa. That’ll be no problem, right – and we need you to start work 8 days from now.

Well of course I don’t have a visa now, since I don’t have the offer letter yet. And no, I’m not so desparate for a job that I’m going to spring for a full-fare (no advance purchase) lightning round trip to Chicago. So a totally wasted trip. Granted, this was partly my fault – but how did he think he was going to find someone wandering around that had a work visa for his school?

Now a couple of weeks later I’m back in Krakow when I’m pleasantly surprised to get a call from one of the schools in Wroclaw. In fact, this is one of the school directors I’d met in person while dropping off my resume. A job has opened up, and can I come for an interview tomorrow? Well, it’s a train trip of several hours each way, so OK.

I arrive on time for the appointment. As I sit down, he picks my resume up from his desk peruses it briefly, and says “Oh! You don’t have any teaching experience! This position is for our advance classes! We need someone with at least a couple of years behind them.”

29

The phrasing would be, but I absolutely hate it when people ask “how much do you want” and either take it or just drop you.

My answer is usually something like “rather than focusing on salary, I prefer to evaluate the whole package, since ‘salary and social security’ doesn’t have the same value as ‘salary, social security, food tickets and company car’; what benefits does the position offer?”

30

Wow, that is pretty wild. At least she got a free trip to Zurich and a good story out of the deal, not too shabby at all.

31

That is a great approach Nava, when I was doing work as a third party recruiter (headhunter), that is similar to the line we taught candidates for answering salary questions. Unfortunately, we still have to get to the bottom line number, so it is great to hear you are considering other benefits than just cash, but I really just need to know how much someone is making, and how much do they want. All other benefits aside, cash still seems to rule the day in most instances.

I feel so much better about myself as an interviewer after hearing some of these stories!!

32

Well, it was 30 years ago and the company has since gone out of business. :wink: Things have improved a bit since then, I hope.

33

Agreed. But, real examples:

years ago, my boss got a lateral promotion, so his position was open. No benefits had been mentioned during negotiations: the new guy was enormously surprised to discover he was getting a company car - he was told after he’d been with us for two weeks. That’s three weeks after buying a nth-hand car :smack: The A4 was a nice surprise and definitely not a decisive factor (heh) but he sure wouldn’t have minded knowing about it beforehand.

Given the size of the garage I had at the time, I would have had to reject an A4. My yaris fit because it’s a hatchback.

My current job pays me per the hour, no per diems, no expenses. Let’s say it comes to (figure invented and coin not mentioned) 1000/day assuming 8h/day.
I’m being pre-offered a job that offers 800/day plus per diems for the concept of meals plus housing.
Another pre-offer offers 800/day plus expenses (meals and housing).

The total amounts would end up being similar; the way most people in my line of work tackle expenses, the third would be the highest.

My preference? The second. Because I don’t get to argue with accounting over whether I did or did not have dinner and whether buying two pieces of fruit for dinner is or is not a valid expense…

34

Another answer for the salary question could be “ONE MILLION DOLLARS!” In other words, the salary question is always bogus, because the interviewer asking always knows what they are willing to pay, and they only ask in the hopes of getting a candidate to underbid themselves. If an employer were truly asking to get a feeling for whether or not their salary would be enough for you, they could omit this step and just tell you what they are willing to offer. But that wouldn’t be manipulative and oppressive enough.

35

Once upon a time I went to a job interview at a law firm in NYC. I was engaged in the oh-so-challenging “skills” portion of the interview (I mean really, how freaking hard is it to save files? Or to move files from one folder to another) and the fire alarm went off.

I was slightly concerned about this, but the interviewer insisted it was only a drill and demanded (with an eyeroll and the very clear demeanor that I was being a Nervous Nellie here) that I continue.

I could see everyone else in the area vacating with commendable haste. I should mention we were on the 25th floor and the elevators were shut down, so people were grabbing their stuff and heading for the stairways.

About 10 minutes after everyone else had left and the interviewer person was asking me more-and-more complex questions in the background of flashing lights and shrieking sirens, I finally said “Pardon me, but I think we should be leaving now. I’m not sure this is really only a drill. I think the building actually might be on fire here.”

The interviewer very snippily informed me that if I left, I had no chance since she didn’t want anyone with such a poor work ethic they’d leave partway through the interview working for her.

I left.

Took the stairs.

About 10 floors down I started smelling the smoke. 5 more floors and I ran into some firemen.

Boy were they surprised to see me.

“WTF! This building is supposed to be evacuated!”

They rushed me out of there like nobody’s business, let me tell you.

The second I hit the open air I was on the phone to the recruiter that sent me to that interview - only to find that the lady who’d been interviewing me had called to complain about my departure. I explained, invited the recruiter to watch the freaking noon news, and let her talk to the nice FDNY boys who rushed me out of the building. She still reprimanded me for leaving.

Last interview I accepted from that recruiter.

I did, however, let the FDNY know that I was fairly sure the interviewer was still up on the 25th Floor - something none of her co-workers apparently thought was necessary.

36

I would love to interview featherlou, that would be a fun conversation. I do enjoy being manipulative and oppressive to some people though, they deserve.

37

It would be the most fun you’ve ever had in an interview. :smiley:

No, just kidding. I mostly behave myself in interviews.

Well, as long as you’re enjoying it. Somebody should be getting something out of it. :slight_smile:

38

Don’t look now, but sleestak’s nailing your boss.

http://208.100.26.199/sdmb/showthread.php?t=414182

39

I hate, hate, HATE interviews! That being said, I just had the best interview of my life this week–I was actually applying for a job with another company, but the guy hiring sent my resume over to a friend of his who really needs somebody like me. We met up at a coffee shop and spent 2.5 hours yakking–after the first few minutes it was clear this was less of an interview than it was a brainstorming session.

The guy is starting up a new business, and having done this before is determined not to repeat his mistakes. He’s great at getting clients and bringing in work, but hopeless at paperwork, organization, scheduling and bossing people around. Me, I live for that shit! It also helps that I used to work in his exact field for a company that used the same business model he’s contemplating–and very successfully at that. By the end of the interview, he told me to stop looking for another job, 'cuz I already have a new one with him. He’s in the middle of a class for a professional certification that will make him eligible for a section of work that is potentially incredibly lucrative for the amount of effort it takes, and we’re looking at a 5-6 week lead time to getting the business started, but I already have a job so it’s no big deal for me to wait a few weeks, and I have three days off during the week in which I can come on part time to get things rolling.

I am so stoked it’s unbelievable! Things have been getting really weird and tense at my current company and this week we got confirmation that the company is “reorganizing,” i.e. “filing bankruptcy” and I have an extremely jaundiced view of the eventual health and wellbeing of this place. Not to mention that my boss has decided to become Hitler Jr. and I’m about ready to take a taser to his ass and bring fifty extra battery packs for the thing to make sure the job gets done right. I asked my new boss how he feels about dogs in the workplace and he told me he loves dogs and doesn’t give a shit about what I wear or who/what’s in the office because the public will never see the office and dogs make people happy… Oh, and did I mention he needs a computer geek too? The SO is salivating at the prospect of getting his hands on the equipment/networking/maintenance contracts.

So yeah, once in a while it’s all worth it! My head is spinning right now… :wink:

40

I had an interview with an electronics company in Seattle that, before asking any questions of me, handed me a personality test to fill out.

It was about 100 questions long, but must have been written for admission into J Edgar Hoover’s staff back in the 60s. Over half of the questions dealt directly with my patriotism, whether I had any empathy toward communism or had read any communist works, whether I was a homosexual, and how violently I may respond to confrontation.

The test was blindingly transparent in what it desired as a candidate, and already very creeped out, I decided to be “Opposite Gargoyle” for a day.

I handed off my completed test and the two admin girls slipped behind a partition to score the test. I heard gradually escalating murmurings and debates for the next ten minutes or so. Finally, one of them came around the partition, white as a sheet and obviously keeping her distance, and said quickly “thankyouverymuchwellbeintouchwellcallyouokthanksbye!”

I was the happiest gay commie alcoholic abusive gun nut kleptomaniac athiest to ever walk out that door and away from that horrible company :smiley: