[QUOTE=GargoyleWB]
…I was the happiest gay commie alcoholic abusive gun nut kleptomaniac athiest to ever walk out that door and away from that horrible company 
[/QUOTE]
From your description, it seems like they’d actually prefer a gun nut, wouldn’t they? A real admirer of the Second Amendment. You could have made yourself less appealing by being an ardently pro-gun-control gay commie alcoholic abusive kleptomaniac athiest, instead. 
And congrats, SmartAleq - hope you like your new gig!