No you didn’t!
I’m not really into the “thought is the deed” school of thought, so I’ll go witht he majority and say it’s not cheating.
Telling your spouse… that depends on a lot of things, mainly why you’re telling her (“Hey honey, look at this interesting facet of my psyche!” versus “I dreamed about my ex-girlfriend and it was the best sex I ever had, you harpy!”) and what you think she will do with the information (“ooh that’s neat!” versus “well, since we’re baring our souls, I had this dream…” versus “[shriek of jealous rage]”). Some women can be very weird and insecure about the very thought of their men boffing other women, and rational or not I might just keep it to myself to spare her feelings, assuming it wasn’t a sign of something that needed further investigation (serious doubts about the relationship, etc).
Well, I had a dream that my husband was cheating on me…
was mad at him for hours the next day.
Took me that long to decide it wasn’t in the least bit rational.
(The emotions were real, even if the dream wasn’t).
Yes he did!
And, IMNSHO, it’s not cheating for all the reasons stated above.
I have dreamed before that my boyfriend was cheating on me, and woke up intensely angry. My hands were shaking, my heart was thumping, I was on the verge of tears. I woke up and told him, and he said, “Yeah?” and laughed, then told me to go back to sleep, which made me feel better, oddly. I know he has sex dreams about other women, and although I know it’s silly, I admit to getting a little twinge of jealousy. I tell him about all my sex dreams, because nine times out of ten they involve me with other women. Wonder what that means.
A weird thing – not once, but TWICE has it happened that (different) co-workers have been mad at me because they had a dream in which their husband/boyfriend was cheating on them with me. In both cases, I’d never even met their SOs, and in both cases, I’d had a perfectly civil and friendly working relationship with the co-workers. What the hell must my co-workers have thought of me?
Broodha, consider the Golden Rule.
If your SO had a sex dream about someone else, would you feel betrayed?
Would you want her to tell you about it, or would you feel better not knowing, or would you simply be uninterested?
Personally, I don’t think it’s cheating because it wasn’t a willful act. Whether you should share it or not is between you and your SO. My husband and I tell each other about some of our particularly bizarre sex dreams, usually to have a good laugh–but there are some that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with him, and presumably he keeps many/most of his to himself as well.