I hate being interviewed by a lunatic.

The BBQ Pit
1

The more I think about this, the more irritated I am and the more I want to vent about it. I went on a job interview last week at a small branch of a national company. I had spoken with the woman that I would mainly be working with for close to an hour a couple of days before - I was very excited, because we got along very well and the position sounded great. So I go in for the interview. Her boss (the head of the branch) interviews me first. After the introductions, the interview goes a little something like this:

Boss: “Are you married?” (First freaking thing he asks me!)
Me: No, sir.
Boss: “Really?”
Me: No. I’ve been seeing someone for the past few years, and we’ve talked about it, but that’s all.
(Okay, I don’t think anything of it at this point - I’m a pretty laid back person, and enjoy getting to know people)
Boss: "You’ve talked about it? You can’t do that!
Me: “Excuse me?”
Boss: “You shouldn’t talk about it. Because, you know, the more you pressure him to get married, the more he’s going to want to run!”
Me: “Well, actually, sir, it’s not like that. I’m the one who doesn’t want to get married.”

He was pretty shocked about that. Then, about 5 or 6 minutes into the interview, he leaned back, pointed at me, and said, “Do you know what my problem is with you? You are quiet. A wallflower. I can tell you right now that that is what I don’t like about you. I can’t have a wallflower in this position.” My jaw dropped - those are definitely not words anyone has EVER used to describe me. He completely pulled that out of his ass. But then, one of the next things he tells me is that he’s interviewed 15 people for the postition and I was probably the best one yet! He asked me how much I made at my last job, and the job before that (the only two jobs I’ve had in the past 10 years). After I told him, he erupted “They gave you a $13K raise to go to your last job? Why in the world did they do that?” He practically yelled this to me, but I calmly replied that it was the salary that they paid everyone with that title at the company, and reminded him of the the fact that I had gone from state government positions (which are very low paid) to a corporate position. The next question was “Are you honest?” Of course I replied “Yes.” He leaned forward, shook his finger at me again, and said, “Aha! I got you! You glanced up before you answered yes! That means you weren’t telling the truth! I’ve been interviewing people for years and I’m an expert at body language, and when someone glances up before they answer a question, that means they’re lying!” Again, I was flabbergasted. Thankfully, the interview didn’t last much longer than that. He asked a few more moronic questions, and let the woman who orignally got my resume come talk to me for awhile. I actually got to talk about my experience and abilities for a change.

If I hadn’t had a massive headache at the time, and knew that I didn’t need the job (I thought my unemployment benefits were going to run out much sooner than they are, I discovered yesterday), I swear I would have left the interview halfway through talking to the guy. It was pretty disappointing, because the job did sound pretty interesting, and I really liked the two people that I would mainly be working with. But after that debacle, there is no way I’d go work there. It just amazed me how disrespectful the guy was. I was talking to a friend who suggested that he was just trying to test me. I think, though, that if I’m going in there, trying to put my best face forward and impress them enough to make them want to hire me, I expect them to be professional and respectful enough for me to want to work there.

Maybe I’m blowing this out of proportion, but darn it, it’s bugging me.

2

I suppose that he could have been “testing” you but that doesn’t make his behavior any less appropriate. If you do get the offer and turn down the job and you don’t think it will bite you in the butt later, tell them that he is the reason that you are turning them down. Wallflower, my ass!

Haj

3

Fuck the shithead interviewer…

1 Get a job elsewhere.
2. Write a letter to the senior manager(s) at the location explaining what had happened. Suggest that if they wish to hire professional staff they need to ensure that their interviewer can act professionaly.
3. If there were any costs to you associated with the interview, I would be tempted to send a bill with the letter for those costs. As the interviewer completely wasted your time.

4

If I’m not mistaken, asking you your marital status is illegal, at least in the US. Enough interviewers will ask that sort of thing out of ignorance, but it sounds like he’s either insane or an asshole. And yes, maybe he was testing how cool you are under pressure, but that wasn’t appropriate at all.

(Quick search: yes, that appears to be true. )

5

You’re lucky you got the true picture before you accepted a position. There are a lot of lunatics out there that aren’t locked up. Close one!

6

Hell, no, you’re not blowing this out of proportion. As much as they are interviewing you for the position, you are interviewing them to see if it would be a good fit. And, man-oh-man, it ain’t!

What a freak. And it says alot about the company that someone like that is in a high position. I doubt he has never, ever shown this kind of behavior in other situations, so his compadres suredly know of his weirdness.

Egad.

7

When I get stuck with a total asshole in an interview, I get up and leave. I figure if this asshole is interviewing me, I will probably have to work somewhere in close proximity to them, so this job is going to be much more trouble than it’s worth. Also, I keep an eye on the other employees, if everyone seems sad and/or pissed-off, I make the visit as short as I can, I don’t want to be one of them.

8

Maybe the idea here is to determine if you’re desperate enough to put up with a loony just to get a flippin’ job.

9

Geez, did you get interviewed by Wallace Shawn’s character from the Princess Bride? That part where he yells, “I’m an expert at body language” just sounds like Vizzini.

10

You’ve dodged a bullet.

11

Was anyone else reminded of the Monty Python sketch with the lunatic job interviewer?

5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Too late!

12

I won a Nation Merit Scholarship For Academic Achievement. I have good communication skills. I am a college graduate. I have training in medical terminology. I am not stupid. I point this out, so that my own experience will be more comprehensible.

5 years ago, I interviewed with the Tennessee Department of Public Health, for an entry-level Public Health Representative postion.

I sat down with Supervisor X, who began to explain to me what my job duties would be. X explained. And explained. And explained. He droned on for 20 minutes, using unexplained acronyms, convoluted phrasology, & vast quantities of utterly unnecessary bureaucrat-ese.

At the end of the (I kid you not) 20 minute explaination, he asked me if I understood the position. I repeated the underlined concepts at the top of the page, and the said: " No, I do not understand the duties of this position, and quite frankly, based on your rambling, disjointed explaination, I don’t believe you know what the duties of this job are either."

I walked out.

This guy must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle to jabber inanely for so long, and say so little. 2 weeks of him, and I’d have gone nuts.

13

Magnolia, I just wanted to second Suggestion # 2 by Bippy the Beardless. I wrote a letter to the CEO once after an abusive interview similar to (although not as blatantly as) the one you describe.

A few days later the interviewer called me back–obviously at the insistence of his boss–and had to eat shit for half an hour, trying to plead to me that I had it all wrong, that he didn’t mean to be disrespectful, that he was actually impressed by my resume, and blah blah blah.

It did me no good financially–I didn’t get a job offer from the company, and at that point wouldn’t have accepted one anyway–but it was one of the most satisfying experiences of my life.

14

I wish that I had just walked out. I did think about it, but at the time, I was pretty desperate for a job because I thought my unemployment benefits were going to run out at the end of November. Thankfully, I found out that I’ll get a 13 week extension, so I can at least be a little choosy.

I’m working on writing a letter, like a couple of people suggested. I’m just trying to figure out what exactly to say, because I don’t want to rehash the entire interview, but I do want to get across the extent of this guy’s rudeness towards me.

15

I had a similar experience when interviewing at a law firm in Kansas City.

I was waiting outside the hiring partner’s office for my interview with him for at least 10 minutes. All the while, he was SCREAMING at his secretary, who kept trying to tactfully remind him that I was there and suggest that they should talk about it later. He yelled something about needing to discuss it NOW and went on yelling.

Finally, he calls for me to come in (I’ve been standing in the hallway the whole time, totally uncomfortable) and the first question to pop out of his mouth is:

“DO YOU LIKE TO DRINK?”

I was flabbergasted, and started groping for an appropriate response. But he didn’t wait.

“'CAUSE I DO!”

Then he immediately asks,

“SO…WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?”

As if I were just wasting his time. I ask him some of my stock questions (I was interviewing for a summer clerkship):

“How are assignments handed out to summer associates?”

“I DON’T KNOW.”

16

(Sorry, somehow I posted before I was done.)

“Umm…can you tell me how the program is organized?”

“I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. YOU’RE ASKING THE WRONG PERSON.”

I quickly grope for the questions that get interviewers to ramble for a long time so that I can have time to regroup.

“So, what made you choose this firm?”

“THEY OFFERED ME A JOB.”

Umm, okay… “How would you describe the personality of the firm?”

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION. FIGURE OUT A BETTER WAY TO PHRASE IT.”

Say whaaaaa?

I asked a couple more questions and got one word answers. Finally, helplessly, I asked, “Is there anything you would like to ask me about my qualifications?”

He picks up my resume with both hands, holds it in front of his face, and reads the thing as if he’d never seen it before in his life.

“WHAT’S WAS THIS INTERNSHIP ALL ABOUT?” he asks about one of the entries. I describe the research project I worked on to him. “THAT SOUNDS LIKE A BIG WASTE OF TIME,” he concluded.

Then he asked me a question about what practice areas I thought I was interested in, and why. I answered, and he kept telling me to slow down so that he could write the answer down verbatim. “I WOULDN’T WANT TO QUOTE YOU WRONG,” he tells me in a very snide tone of voice, and then reads back my answer to me in a mocking way to ask me if he got it right.

I ended that interview in 10 minutes (was supposed to be 30) and concluded that I’d just wasted a perfectly fine morning, because even if they hired me, I’d never work there anyway.

17

Yeah, been there, done that.

I once had a boss who would ask interviewees if they knew what a “sproc” was. When they answered that they didn’t, he would dismiss them on that basis.

Little did they realize that “sproc” was his made up word for “stored procedure”, a pretty common term in this field. When I told this guy that you can’t just make up words then quiz people on the definitions, he replied that “smart people should be able to figure it out.”

He was a good guy, and turned an operation run from his parents’ basement into a multi-million dollar corporation, but his people skills were somewhat lacking.

18

At the end, you might want to include a little flattery, even if its phony: “I wanted you (the CEO) to be aware of this, because this unprofessional behavior is so much at odds with your company’s otherwise excellent reputation.”

19

I guess he only wanted mindreaders and bullshitters in that position.

20

I was thinking of the Monty Python sketch, too – it’s from “How to be Annoying”, isn’t it?

Ding! Ding!

As for me, my worst interview was when I showed up after driving an hour to the office and discovered that the interviewer had locked the doors. The executive director of the nonprofit had written me down for the wrong day for the interview, and was working on a grant or something; rather than conducting the interview, she made me come back another day.

Shoulda been a sign to me; shoulda been a sign. Never have I had such a flagrantly incompetent boss.

Daniel