AOL Instant Messaging is for tracking down and bothering people that have better things to do. It’s another form of an electronic leash like the cell phone. I won’t have it on my pc. I like privacy.
Sheesh, the balls on that cousin! The nerve! Such kutzpah, engaging in human contact with a program designed for such a purpose.
On the other hand, I can relate to annoying IMs. This one guy Facebook chats with me, and I swear he’s retarded… I feel bad ignoring/unfriending him.
On Facebook, you can create different friend groups, and be online to only groups you want to be online to. The rest will always see you as offline.
Until a friend from your Group A, who is also friends with a guy in your Group B writes on his wall, “omg just hade a gr8 chat w/xash!!!11”
Then you end up friendless.
My solution: no Facebook. 
I have one son who lives in Paris, France, and another three hours away.
I love Google chat. Rather than pestering them, I mostly wait for them to chat me (if they are not invisible, which I sometimes use and I know they use it, too).
It is a convenient, free way to communicate; I like the spontaneity and the brevity.
We once bought one of the kids an airline ticket while on gchat; it was really helpful to be able to figure out logistics online.
Rule #1 - don’t create separate groups for people who know each other (except maybe if a subgroup has a specific interest or something).
And I agree with Caprese that chat is a wonderful thing (I planned a possible cruise with one of my cousins through chat just yesterday…), but I also like to browse things in peace without having popups all over the place. So…controlling chat is the really important part. I don’t log into chat unless I really want to talk.
I had the chat on once. A coworker came on and wanted to chat. This is a coworker from a different office, so I only know him by phone: he’s a really nice guy, but it was 12:30am and he was beyond drunk. I chatted with him for a bit, but then turned the computer off and went to sleep. Chat has been off since.
I pretty much always have a Facebook page open, but it’s quite rare that I’m actually doing something on Facebook, so I legitimately don’t see a lot of Facebook chat messages, no one seems to care if I don’t reply.
Turning off the chat function was the second thing I learned how to do upon joining Facebook - after blocking applications.
Instant messaging works best if the two persons using it on on the same page.
My favorite young cousin & I use it quite a bit. I don’t expect her to have always have time to talk to me, and I don’t perceive her as expecting the reverse. The conversations generally begin with something like “:: ringing your bell to see if you’re at the computer ::”; if the recipient has time to chat, fine, if not we just send emails.
On the other hand, the young child of a good friend of mine will talk my ear off, given the chance. But she doesn’t seem to get upset when I say, “Hey, shorty, I have to dash, have a good one and kiss your mom for me.” I can see how it would be vexing if she didn’t catch a clue, though.
I’ve got a few people that I have moved to a list I keep offline. I don’t mind chatting with the rest.
I leave my computer on and connected to the internet 24/7. I also have Skype open 24/7. I’ll respond when I feel like it.
That’s a good point. I’ll often have Skype conversations with my Mum where we never sign off or say goodbye or anything one of just just stops talking and the other assumes they’ve gone off to do something else or run out of things to say.
My corporate office has a proprietary IM program. I was thrilled to find it when I started there in March. Much to my dismay, not a soul in my department knew how to use nor did they even WANT to know about it. I work with Neanderthals. ::rolleyes::
I’m with gladtobeblazed. My work computer stays on and logged in 24/7 with FB and all other IM apps that I have an account on via Trillian. I’ll respond when I respond.
Or never.
I don’t Skype or anything, but this is it. So what? They send you a message. That doesn’t mean you have to respond to it immediately…
…or at all.