WHHHYYYY? This is a real question for the Teeming Millions: Why the hell do old people get up so early? My step-grandmother self-righteously tells me, every time I go see her, that she gets up by 5AM every morning. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT IS SHE DOING?
She has not worked in many years. She has no grandchildren living nearby. My mom and stepdad go see her and my step-grandfather sometimes, but otherwise, they’re not, like, constantly entertaining or getting the house ready for visitors. She only has to cook for herself and her husband. They don’t watch much TV or know much about their computer. So why does she getup so early?
And if the reason is just that it’s how her internal clock works, then she has absolutely no reason to lord it over everyone else like it’s her own moral superiority that wakes her. GRRR!
I’m convinced that my body is on a 25-hour cycle. Namely, if I wake up rested in the morning, I’ll want to fall asleep an hour later than I did the night before. What this means is that I am ALWAYS TIRED when I wake up. Thank heavens I rarely have to get myself up before 8 am anymore. There is nothing worse in the whole wide world than waking up and getting out before dawn in the middle of winter.
Well I don’t know if you’d call it a “well.” I write with a fountain pen and need to refill it occasionally. The ink comes in an oddly shaped glass jar-thing.
Everyone who hates getting up in the morning should follow my No-Fail 3 Step Plan For Getting Up On Time.
Step 1: Gain some weight. If you already have some, great you were obviously thinking ahead. Reward yourself with calories.
Step 2: Loft your bed. Loft it a good 4.5 feet off the ground. Make it a pain to get into.
Step 3: Put your alarm clock somewhere unreachable from the bed.
Now every morning when you wake up, you have to get out of bed to shut off the alarm and by the time you get out of bed and shut it off, the idea of trying to clamber all the way back up there in your tired and fat body will fill you with horror so you take a shower instead. And this way I won’t be the only one staring blearily at the mattress from the floor and thinking rude thoughts at my monkey of a roommate.
But I’m not tired at 10 pm. I’m just getting my second wind at 10 pm. Not to come down on you, Mel, but attitudes like this are what keep us non-morning people from feeling normal and being allowed to be who we are. We’re not defective; we’re just set in a different time frame than morning people.
Exactly. 10? 10 is only if I’m so damn beat I can’t keep my eyes open (or even 9!).
Actually, I finally managed to train myself. You see, I manage to go to sleep by 11 most nights and am up for 6-ish. I never want to get out of bed though, I’m quite content being up until 1 and sleeping until 8 or 9. It’s still almost the same amount of sleep, but the quality difference is amazing.
Even when camping and the birds and fresh air and everything regulates my sleep better, I’m still not up at the first sign of daylight.
Dad used to get pissed at me in the mornings. Now, well… I deal. I don’t like it, but I deal, so just leave me in peace until I’ve had a mug of coffee and a chance to align myself with the living.
You know what really pisses me off? I have a friend who not only is a morning person, but has a light schedule at college at the moment. So what does he do? He gets up early and does nothing. He can’t help it. That’s how much of a morning person he is. In my opinion, morning is for suckers. The only benefit I’ve ever seen to getting up early is to A) get to work or school or B) make it in time for McDonald’s breakfast. And trust me, I’d never set an alarm for the later. It’s only something that occurs when I’ve simply gotten up early enough.
But it’s like he lives in another world half the day. He’ll talk about morning shows of which I have only the faintest clue. He has opinions about all these morning show people, and I am clueless. I know who Al Roker is, but I don’t despise him like he does. I’d like to, but seriously. My friend, does nothing in the morning, but never sleeps late.
Seriously, there’s a reason that I loved working second, or swing, shift. There’s just something more comfortable for me to have the workday starting at 4 PM, and then ending at midnight.
(Of course, that was back when I had a circadian cycle.)
Another of my college roommates tried this plan and it was amazing the dexterity with which she could vault herself back up into the top bunk. Of course she wasn’t overweight as you suggest.
#1 son takes after me, sadly, in this department. I was never a morning person–I even went to the night shift early on because I couldn’t sleep at night UNTIL the alarm went off–then I would fall asleep.
Working nights did a number on me. Kudos to those who can take, but it about killed me. I did it for 5 years–I refer to that time in my life as a black hole. Sadly, it was most of my twenties. Anyway, what I have found is that I am really a mid-morning person. I like to go to bed around midnight and get up at about 9. No job lets me do that (no job that pays me well and gives me bennys). I’d like to start work around 9 or 10, work until 4-5pm, and then go home. Is that so bad? Not at all, if I lived in France…
I, too, hate the smugness of morning people. My husband is a morning person. He is truly baffled by #1 son’s difficulties in getting his 15 year old body out of bed every AM. I feel for him, but he has to get up.
I am getting him this for Christmas (I had to drive him to school today because he missed his ride): wakeupalready!
My mom says this to me all the time. We’re just wired differently, ya know? Even if I go to bed early I still. hate. mornings. Nighttime is the bestest.
He’ll end up sleeping through it. I’d get my sister one of those, but she already sleeps through her alarm. She doesn’t notice it until I yell at her. Then she hits snooze. So I’m trying to sleep in and her stupid alarm is beeping.
