Have you told her that you want to spend time with her one on one? I couldn’t imagine my husband wanting to go with me while I went with the girls to get a manicure or to the mall. It would be like torture to him.
Lovely.
Didn’t you read it? She isn’t lovely. That cow is the size of a bus. ~runs away~
I would really hate for a friend to be fucking with my marriage like that, just tell her you don’t like her husband and if you can’t spend time with her without him well thats that.
The fact is the husband might hate you too, and he is purposely pushing your buttons to get rid of you. Asking you over and over if you wanna smoke weed when he knows you don’t sounds very much like messing with you.
My friend hates my husband.
I admit there are problems in my marriage but because of Friend’s antipathy, I can never indulge in the usual “Joe was driving me nuts today with his …” Friend is single and we (husband and I) never socialise with her together - just Friend and I on our once a month outings to the movies or somewhere similar. I have to be especially careful not to mention his name because of the reaction it evokes.
I have proposed “Girls Days” and she makes a last minute excuse as to why he has to come or cancels outright. We currently have plans for this week to do the mani/pedi thing, but I’m not holding my breath. BTW, they went to register for baby stuff this weekend and she said it turned into a fiasco. She wants to register at Target as well as Babies R Us, so she and I are supposed to go to Target for the registry after doing the mani/pedi. I will report back after Wednesday to see if we were able to go it alone…
I remember when my best friend married a woman who was bitchy, stupid and ugly to boot. I could never understand what the hell he saw in her. My wife and I could never hang out with them without having some kind of drama. Every single dinner out with them resulted in embarrassment. She belittled servers and had no problem being very loud with her inane complaints. They divorced after six years of marriage, much to my (and my friend’s) relief. I never told him how much we hated her. He had to know, though. Why rub it in?
I probably don’t want to know the answer to this, but…
Just what would happen if she went off without Controlling Husband? Why does she have to appease him?
I used to work with a woman who married not one, but two violent, mentally ill men. And she complained about them constantly. And she talked to the current one over the phone as if he were a stupid, lazy child. He came into the office once or twice and I swear, he looked like one step up from a homeless person. It never occurred to her that she married both of them. I didn’t know her well enough to ask (and I didn’t really want to know), but I think she came from a dysfunctional family and she honestly felt that this was normal behavior for men, that this is what married life is supposed to be. And that her shrewish behavior towards him was normal behavior for married women. Some people just don’t know how to get married.
When I first met my husband there was another couple at the office. The guys were very good friends and I had just moved to the city so we started socializing together. At the beginning it was okay, but it rapidly became hell on earth. As I made more friends and our social outings became larger her insanity became more and more apparent. We tried in a million ways to let LD socialize with the guys without inflicting She who must not be named (SWMNBN) on the chicks but it was clear that gentle hints weren’t doing it.
One night we were at a favorite bar before a movie that we all wanted to see that we had specifically not invited LD and SWMNBN to join us at when they… walked in. They had decided to see it on their own and had just automatically gone to the same theatre the group always used. The resulting conversation where we finally decided we were sick of the dancing around and it was time to say “We’re just not that into her” He never spoke to us again.
She married a man who is exactly like her (now dead) father. I agree that she probably thinks this is normal married couple behavior. She’s had live-in boyfriends previous to him and all were at least a little dysfunctional, but better than this one. In the past she tended to fall for men who were unavailable for one reason or another. Two were post-docs who lived on a different continent and were just here for a year separated by one that was just plain emotionally unavailable.
No, you are exercising judgement. Being mean is how you handle it publicly, or not. I wish I had been a bit more judgmental a couple years ago - it would have saved me a lot of heartache now.
This is funny to me, in some respects. I have been the person who people avoided because my (ex) husband made scenes and embarassed people. (Getting drunk at office parties, causing scenes in restaurants over inconsequentials, not wanting me to go out dancing with friends.) His friends felt the same way about me (She doesn’t like to drink, she doesn’t smoke pot, she gets too worried about showing up for work, I mean who cares! The job will be there.) Eventaually I got rid of him much to everyone except his mother’s relief. (She thought I could change him, she was really hoping I would…)
These days I wonder if people think my current boyfriend is keeping me away from them. He isn’t, I just got tired of other people’s drama (or any drama) and having a calm sane boyfriend has helped me recognize that. I don’t want to spend my weekends getting drunk and male bashing with my friends. I would rather stay home with my family, including my son, and do something constructive.
I’ve mentioned my brother-in-law on these boards in the past. The OP’s problem guy sounds exactly like him. It resulted in us refusing to go to their house for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners, for which I will likely hold against him until one of us is dead. He’s one of the few people I’ve ever wished dead and gone from nearly the moment I met him some 50 years ago.
My best friend hates my boyfriend. Well, hate may be a little strong. She doesn’t approve of the choices he has made in the past. He isn’t the most social person either, so it’s hard to give other people the chance to know him like I do.
Sometimes people from different social circles just don’t mesh well together. My best friend and my boyfriend don’t really have anything in common besides me. This makes hanging out together difficult because I can’t really think of anything we could do that they would both enjoy.
I like how you didn’t quote the part where the bitch didn’t take her BC pill and had unprotected sex with her boyfriend, arguably one of the biggest breaches of trusts a couple can have.
Some of these stories are eye opening. Often people forget that there are so many forms of abuse other than physical or sexual. And that they can be just as damaging.
I’m in this sort of situation.
I’m part of a group of friends who play D&D and other roleplaying games together. We met up online (our members live scattered across the U.S.), and primarily play together online, via Skype (when we first started, a decade ago, we used chat rooms). One of the players is a very sweet, very intelligent woman, who is also a very good player. She’s well-liked by everyone in the group, and does a lot to help make the games go (she figures out the scheduling, she handles a lot of the computer work for the games, etc.)
Unfortunately, not too long after she became a regular member of our group, her husband expressed a desire to join us. Like all of us, the husband had been playing D&D for a long time…but he’s just not someone that any of us would choose to spend time with, if it weren’t for his wife. He’s extremely socially awkward, he loves to blurt out non sequiturs which derail the game, he loves to tell the sort of jokes which you probably found funny when you were 8 (he’s over 50), and he’s a really terrible player, to boot (he simply can’t grasp the rules, and gets highly annoyed when he’s corrected). When he thinks the rest of the players aren’t listening to him (which, frankly, is true), he gets all pouty and sulks.
When we switched from playing in chat rooms (in which everyone typed out their conversations) to Skype, playing with him got to be even more annoying. Most of us use microphone / earbud headsets when we’re playing, but he’s decided that he doesn’t like how that feels, so he uses the speakers and microphone built into his laptop. But, because he’s hard of hearing, he turns the speaker volume up…and thus, when any of the rest of us talk, our voices get “echoed” through his computer (as they leave his speakers, get picked up by his microphone, and fed back into the Skype chat). When we ask him if he could at least “mute” his microphone when he’s not speaking, he gets angry, decides that we just don’t want him to play (welllllll…), and tunes out for the rest of the session.
His wife does recognize at least some of his foibles…but there seems to be only so much she can do to encourage change (and, not surprisingly, she comes to his defense on a lot of things, when I suspect an impartial party would not side with him).
She quoted what was outstanding, your irrelevant cheap shot.