I’m trying to figure out if I’m just a little depressed right now or if I really do hate my job.
A little background: I was laid off this August which was actually a happy day for me since it was a truly horrible place to work. I found a new job before my severance ran out so I considered myself very lucky - or I did. I work in IT. I’m a DBA, so everyday I sit in my little cube with no windows and no privacy staring at a monitor for 9 hours. Sometimes I get up and go stare at the server monitor instead of the one on my desk. I am a corporate slave.
Today, one of my coworkers decides to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the WHOLE thing) for reasons unknown. I would have beaten him with my phone, but he also owns a red Swingline stapler which makes me quite wary of him. I don’t know why his sudden outburst of song annoyed me so since I am not normally so short tempered. All I could think about is how much I hate it all - except the money which is good. It is, however, increasingly not worth it. From the moment I get in, I count the hours and minutes until 3PM when I get to leave. It’s become the best part of my day. Then I go home and play violent video games (computer geek) because I get to be someone else more exciting for at least a couple of hours. I’m sure that there is something psychologically wrong with THAT.
And, it’s not like there is anything inherently bad about where I work. Compared to my old company it is heaven on Earth… but I don’t like what I do anymore. My husband thinks I’m just burned out because I worked at such a terrible place for so long and that in time I will like it again. I don’t think so. The whole idea of giving it some time fills me with dread, and I can’t imagine doing this for the rest of my life. Is this what a mid-life crisis feels like? I’m only 31, but maybe I’m very advanced for my age.
I keep thinking that there has got to be something better out there that makes life less mundane than wash, rinse, repeat. Or is this it? Damn now that’s a depressing thought.
I too am in a windowless room staring at a monitor (I’m a DBA too) waiting for someone to come into my cube and complain that the system is too complicated and they can’t figure out how to do something. I do this every day, I’m about ready to chuck it all and take up squid ranching or something. Really I think it’s just the seasonal blues that are getting me down, that and the impending end to my marriage.
It just doesn’t get any better than this :eek:
I don’t know if this’ll help you any, Kiger, but here’s my experience.
I went through this a couple years ago. I really DO like my job and where I work, but it was just getting to me. I kept thinking that I really wanted to do something else, but I just couldn’t figure out what it was.
It was rather like a mid-life crisis: I was looking at what I do, and what I’d accomplished (or hadn’t), and what I was going to be doing for the next (seemingly) hundred years or so, and I just couldn’t handle it.
(BTW, you don’t “have to” be 40 to have a MLC, it’s just that’s the average age. I’d say that you and I are “advanced for our age”, perhaps?)
Oddly enough mine started around age 31 as well.
DogDad and I talked about it, and thought about it, and I am very fortunate in that he was supportive through it all, even helping me try to come up with what I “really” wanted to do. Finally, after much discussion, we both came to the realization that yes, it was actually mostly fueled by depression (along with some co-worker problems).
The depression, in turn, was mostly fueled by the “go to work, come home, play on the computer, watch TV, go to bed” rinse, repeat. We were doing this EVERY DAY, and that was really getting to me.
We tried some simple things to break the monotony of the routine - we now have a membership at the Y, for example, and we try to get there at least once a week. Sometimes we don’t even have the time to exercise AND swim, so we’ll go just to sit in the whirlpool and sauna.
We’ve also made it a priority to have one “no computer, no TV” night, in which we play board games or card games together.
Weekends that nothing else is scheduled, we go hiking or do something fun together.
The major portion of fun in your life PROBABLY won’t ever come from your job, no matter what. It’s great if you can FIND something that you’d willingly do for free but that someone’s insane enough to pay you for, but let’s face it, that isn’t guaranteed. I enjoy my job very much, but it’s not like I’d call it “fun”, necessarily.
Good luck, no matter what you decide. I know it’s tough - and it may be that your husband’s at least partially correct, even though it doesn’t seem like it now.
Great advice, DogMom.
Kiger, sounds like you need to shake things up. Maybe career-wise, maybe not. I felt as you do a couple of years ago and then I met someone who was working on her certification to be a Professional Life Coach. She needed a guinea pig. Before I met her I didn’t have goals other than “Lose weight” “Get degree” She taught me that whatever I want to do, I can do. I don’t know where you live, but this website can refer to to a coach… http://www.coachvillereferral.com/
Just so happens that a class I was taking at the time required us to do a career search. Take some online career tests, find one we’re interested in and interview a person working in the field. Write a paper. I did my paper on Technical Writing… And on December 1, I’ll have my first job in the field. Without a degree.
doink do I ever feel stupid; I forgot to link to our favorite activity!
It’s hiking with geekwear, also known as Geocaching.
And to impart a caution (though I’m sure y’all are intelligent enough to figure this one out): it’s not a QuickFix. I’ve been doing the “change the routine and make it more fun” for three years, and, while I did notice a lift in mood right away, it’s only the past 6 months or so that I’ve been more-or-less happy with my job / life / etc.
Again, whatever you decide to try, I wish you All the Best And All That.
Thanks for the replies. I was feeling a bit sorry for myself yesterday to say the least. Squid ranching, huh? Well, that does sound more interesting then DBA work. I bet the squid don’t yell when their tablespace runs out of extensions.
I do have a few hobbies, the main one being horseback riding. However, I’ve been neglecting that as well to the point where I’ve considered selling my horse to my trainer just so she’ll get ridden. I’ve been riding almost my whole life, but for the past year I’ve been bored with it as well. I think I’m just so down/tired after getting home from work that I can’t be bothered to go out again. I tried to plan at least one day a week to go out to the barn, but inevitably it rains or something – on two separate days we had tornados.
I think I will look into a career counselor. I need to try something even if they tell me I’m best suited for a career in computers.
Wow. I’ve been feeling the same way for a while now, but my situation is a little different. I have a window and I’m an applications programmer. I’m 50% chance of getting laid off in June, and seriously thinking of telling them to lay me off if I’m not.
If I do, I’d get $300/week unemployment (I think), and i’d go back to school. I don’t have a wife to get health bennies from, so that’s the major drawback. I’ve been thinking of a different career. Last May I went in for x-rays on my torn knee ligaments and started talking to the woman doing it. I’m thinking of something in the health field.
IT is not growing, being contracted out and overseas, where I am anyway. I’m really not sure I want to keep learning 4 new languages every 3 years. I feel like I’m running 7 mph on a treadmill going 10 mph. But that’s just me. I thought another location might be good for me too, but I’m not so sure. I guess I have some thinking too, like you. Hhmm, I guess I just talked about myself for 3 paragraphs. Well, what DogMom said. Good luck with it, you’re not alone, a lot of people in this field I know are feeling that way.
This sentence, more than any other in your OP, tells me that it’s time for a change. I’ve always promised myself that if the only thing I look forward to in my job (consistently) is the end of the day then it’s time to start looking for something different. If it’s seasonal blues, then I’d say to try and stick it out until a couple of months after the holidays and see how you feel then.
I’m also in the IT field and the pressure is enormous sometimes. Maybe that’s what’s getting to you? If so, talk it over with your boss about adjusting your resposibilities for a while. If you’re feeling like you do about your job, then eventually your performance will reflect it and the last thing you want on your resume is that you were fired because you were lacking.
My advice is, if your finances can afford it and it’s not depression or something, is to quit and find a low pressure job in an unrelated field. Temp agencies can help out a lot and can give you work in a lot of different industries that still utilize your computer skillz to some degree. Take a break for a year and see how things are after that. When I did that I discovered that the IT field is what I wanted to do after all, and I found a really cool job at a casino.
Finding a career counselor is also good advice. Best of luck to ya, Kiger.