Recently moved into a new apartment above a hair salon on a busy road in Toronto.
I introduced myself and she kind of looked at me like i was garbage. I told her I wasn’t the usual crackhead that menaced her business for the last 12 months but still got nary a smile. Even after 6 months she gives me dirty looks. I have people come up to me every day almost and say to me “Hey dude, did you know that place you to be a crackhead place?”
I know this place was a crack joint and I cleaned it out and painted it and put down new floors and doors. I don’t have people over and its really quiet. Why does the Hair Salon hate me so much when I’m not even those people that used to have 50 people all cracking up? I keep things quiet and clean.
Why do people hate so much? Would she prefer the usual tenants?
I understand. Back in another life, I owned a bar. Before we, (an ex=-husband and I) bought it, it had been a brothel. We cleaned it up, advertised, and told people in the neighborhood that it was a new and different place.
On our grand opening there was a fight that looked like an old west movie, with chairs and bottles flying.
We closed in less than six months. The community couldn’t change their minds about the timbre of the place.
I hear what you are saying. Just frustrating when all you want to do is say “hello” in passing but you get some dirty look instead. I just don’t understand the animosity directed at me considering the place is no longer a crackhead dive and her business is back to normal…normal as far as I know.
I’d say she’s generally an unhappy, unfriendly individual, crackheads or not. I’d flash my biggest, brightest smile at her… the more hateful her expression is, the more I’d dial up the sunshine.
I dealt (deal) with somewhat of a similar situation with my next door neighbors. I’ve lived in my house now for 5 years and in that time, the old couple that lives next door to me have uttered a total of less than 10 words to me and smiled precisely zero times; despite my friendly attempts at neighborly camraderie (waving from my car, saying ‘Hi’ when passing, etc.).
I wasn’t replacing crackheads (or any type of bad tenant or neighbor), I was replacing a nice older couple. But I have given them absolutely no reason for their cold, almost hostile behavior towards me. All my other neighbors are great and I get along with them well. But these folks just treat me as if I don’t exist. For the life of me, I have no idea why; I’ve just written them off as crabby old people who are grouchy at the world.
The next time you see her say, “Hey, why so glum, chum? Come on, let’s see that smile! Life is good and Jesus loves you so let’s see that happy face. Come on, SMILE!”
Funny, I have a vaguely similar thing going on here. Before I bought my house, there was a dispute about the property line down one side of the property, prompted, I am guessing, by one of the property owners on that side. There was a survey done and the fence was moved over in favour of that owner. I suspect this was not amicably done, but it was all resolved and the new fence installed before I moved in.
This neighbour, who is one of three that abut my property on that side has never spoken to me. Never a smile or a howdy ma’am in the six years I have been here. I might as well be invisible out there in my yard.
My other neghbours have hinted that the previous homeowner might have been a miserable old prick. I figure that unfriendly neighbour is just used to hating whoever lives here and try not to take it personally.
Some people just aren’t friendly sometimes, and I can say that because I am one. At work, shopping, out on the town, I’ll probably reciprocate the “Hi,” or engage in some small talk. If I’m at home I expect to be left alone. I don’t want to be greeted on my way to the mailbox or asked how the weather’s treating me when coming in from a long day of work. If you want your neighbor to like you, take her a food thing. She might still be irritated that you’re interrupting her solitude, but at least she’ll get something to eat out of it. Otherwise, accept that she doesn’t want to be bothered by you and leave her alone.
From now on, whenever you see her, you must smile broadly and loudly shout, ‘Hi’ and wave enthusiastically! It’s the only way.
After a couple of weeks of this, (never let up), take her some flowers or some oranges, (unwrap them!), call her ‘Auntie’ when you give them to her. “These are for your Auntie!”, then quickly turn and leave. They don’t have to be fancy flowers, truly. But any oranges need to look lovely and nice.
Then, just keep waving.
I predict you become her new best neighbour! Do let us know how it works out, I can’t wait to hear!
